Hey guys, welcome back to the podcast. I'm really excited to share this idea with you. I feel like a lot of what I teach on the podcast is, you probably can tell, is like what I've been thinking about solving for either with my clients or for myself. And today, it was actually interesting. I was thinking about what do I want to record? You know, it was time to record a podcast. What do I want to talk about?
And I kind of got stuck and I work on this with clients sometimes where it's like, “How do you have ideas or like how do you come up with ideas for your podcast?” And usually it is not difficult for me because I do what Brooke Castillo calls super thinking and I love this idea, and basically I sit down in my journal or with a blank piece of paper and I just come up with ideas.
It’s like five ways to be happy, ten things I know about business, three things I know about parenting, 15 ways to be happier today. I just make my brain come up with ideas and that's usually where I pull my content from. But today I felt more stuck. And I think it's because I've been deep in creation mode for the business of one on one coaching event.
I just think that a lot of my creativity has been, you know, shot, trying to come up with ideas and clarity about that. And so the podcast, I felt a little stuck and then it just kind of hit me like lightning. It was this conversation I had with an old client, Lori, if you're listening to this, this conversation really changed my life.
Anyway, she said something about one of her husband's bosses, was a high level executive, had kind of made it in his company. And he said something to her that then she shared with me that really is profound. And he said, the optimum is not always the maximum. And I think about this all the time. I think in our society, especially in the online business space and social media and all the noise that we get bombarded with, it's easy to think that the maximum of something is the most desired and that is not always true. What we really want is the optimum for us and I think that it might be helpful to dig into this, especially if you have other values outside of business. We don't always want to maximize every part of our life. And so I really wanted to start this episode with the definition of optimum and the definition of maximum.
So, optimum definition is the most conducive to a favorable outcome or the best, versus maximum, which is what I think, we accidentally define as successful. Maximum definition is as great, high, or intense as possible or permitted. So you can even just feel the difference in those two words. So like when I think of maximum in business, it's like scaling it to the moon or as far as it can go, making as much money as possible, working with as many humans as possible, doing the most that I can do, using all my talent, all my energy, all my focus to making my business as big as it can be. A lot of people would define that as ultimate success. But what I love about optimum is it's like the most favorable. It's the best. To me another word that I might ask is like the highest quality.
And so I've been thinking about this a lot because I work with a lot of moms, not that I think that this is only for moms, but I think one of the questions that a lot of my clients, who are moms, have is like how do I create optimum success? They're not really interested in maximum success in business.
And what I love about the definition of optimum, it also includes other areas of your life that are important to you. Whether that's your relationships, your health, your spirituality, time in nature, service, community service, spending time with your community. There's so many different facets of success.
And so when I think of business, and a lot of our conversations in this podcast are about entrepreneurship and being a solo printer or being a coach or being a leader, making money, things like that, I think it's so important to check in with yourself about your goals. Like, do you want to create the optimum or do you want to create the maximum?
Sometimes if we're not clear about what we're trying to do, we just default to the maximum. We're trying to make the most or we're trying to do the best out of everyone. And we're trying to like maximize all areas of our life, especially in business that can burn you out, if it's not truly what you want. For some people I will say, the maximum in business is the optimum.
And I think of these people, these business titans that I learned from and I respect and I pay for their books and I listen to their YouTube videos and I listen to their podcasts and all these things. And I'm always reminding myself, is their optimum my optimum?
Because for many of them, maxed out is their optimum. And in this season of my life, that's not what resonates. I have little girls that I want to raise and be a part of their life. I have hours of work that I'm willing to sacrifice because in this season I'm just not available to work to the max. I want to be available for my kids.
And that's not for everyone. I'm not saying that my way is even the right way. It's just optimum for me. And I think this is where discernment becomes so important. I was listening to a podcast the other day with two very masculine dudes and they were talking about working 18 hour days and like being willing to do whatever it takes.
And I remember like really seeing the truth of what he was saying for him. And it was not for me. This concept of optimum versus maximum is so helpful when you're comparing yourself. You have to analyze and be really honest with yourself about someone else's maximum and someone else's optimum versus what's really optimum for you. What the best is for you? What's going to create the most quality results for you? And this takes discernment. This takes getting to know yourself and being really honest with yourself. For me, it comes in quiet contemplation. I think if we go to the internet for that answer, it does not work.
Going on a long walk by yourself asking, what do I really, really want? I also think there's an element of trial and error in this. I know for me, I've been through lots of different seasons. Seasons where I've worked late. Seasons where I've been obsessive. Seasons where I've kind of taken it easy or not cared about my goals and my business dreams, you know, and really just focused on my home life.
And so I don't think it happens only in quiet contemplation. I also think there's some experimenting that has to happen. So I wanted to kind of have a conversation about what that can look like and some questions to ask yourself to develop what's optimum for you because maximizing isn't always the best for individuals. For some people, I think it really is. I watch some of these mentors that I have that I'm like, I really think maximum is ideal for them. And I have to check in with myself. Like is maximum ideal for me?
No, in business, I mean. So what I really like is optimum in all areas of life: optimum relationships, optimum parenting, marriage, health, business, spirituality, time with family, time alone, time with recreation. And actually I was having a conversation with my friend and she's like, you know, I just don't think working a hundred hours a week, she was exaggerating, but she's like, I just don't think that's for me.
And she's like, it's interesting cause it feels like a slowdown, but it feels so right for me. And I could just feel that for her. I'm like yeah. She wants slow moving with her kids. She wants time off. She wants to travel. She wants to have a relaxed weekend. She doesn't want the high stress.
She doesn't want even the limelight. That's not interesting to her. And so part of this is really keeping your blinders on, trusting yourself to know what you want. And that being said, some of you do want the maximum. Some of you want to be all in on your business and that feels good to you and that is okay.
This isn't a judgment statement. This is not a podcast about judging people who are all in on their business and maximizing it. I have friends. I have clients who are maximizing their business. They are all in either for a season or just cause that's how they like doing business and there's nothing wrong with that if it's the optimum for them.
And I think the biggest piece is really knowing yourself. You have to know yourself. I mean, Shakespeare was like to that own self be true. So wise. And this I think also clears up all the advice on the internet. You get to go through your filter of is this advice for my optimum or is it for theirs?
Not everyone is going to build a multi billion dollar business. Not everyone even wants a multi million dollar business. I remember talking to someone early on in my career that was like $1,000 a month was life changing for her. And I love that for her. The problem was that she had to keep her blinders on and not get distracted by what other people were saying she should want.
And so I think spending time in quiet contemplation without earbuds in your ear. Although, what's hilarious and ironic about that is you are listening to a podcast right now. Anyway, thank you for listening. Thank you for being here. Thank you for supporting my show. But I'm going to encourage you to also spend time alone today. If you're listening to this, also spend time with yourself. Also spend time listening to your own thoughts and getting clarity about what you actually want. The next thing I'll say, as far as optimum goes, is that the right constraints are really useful. So I'm going to share some of my constraints to just spark creativity.
And I do think constraints do expand your creativity. And I learned this from Rick Rubin reading “The Creative Active Way Of Being,” highly recommend that book. He talked about the right constraints really helping. So for me, it's like, if I'm only willing to work when my nanny is here, which is limited hours, I get a lot done and my ideas are booming because I don't have all day to work. I don't have all day to create a podcast, I don't have all day to coach my clients, I don't have all day to write a post. And so the constraint makes me productive. It's useful.
I also think on a grand scheme of creativity. If I'm only going to work certain days of the week, and I'm only going to work certain hours of those days. I have to start thinking creatively about how I take on clients. And so this led me to kind of staggering a lot of my clients. If you're one of my private clients, some of you only meet with me twice a month.
The way that I can fit in more private clients is by not meeting with all of my clients every week. Some clients I do meet with weekly. It just depends on our relationship and our agreement. But that came because I had constraints in my business that I chose to create an optimum result for me, which is less time working than I think a lot of people.
I work like 25 hours a week, sometimes 35. I'll be honest, sometimes it gets up to 35, depending on what I'm doing. Like if I'm in a launch, if I'm creating something new, which like right now I am. I'm really making the Conscious Coach Academy next level. I'm thinking a lot about how to create more value there.
And so I think I'm working more right now trying to make that what I want it to be. And so the questions that I want you to consider, and these are the questions that I consider is what season am I in? Am I in a building season?
When I was new in business, I was absolutely in a building season where I was making up for the skills. So a lot of my time was spent learning. I was on the internet taking courses like how to build a website. I remember googling how to collect a payment. There was so much I didn't know, that I was googling a lot. So there was more time spent in the beginning, which is very normal.
And I didn't judge myself for that season. I was working late. I was working mornings. I was fitting in work wherever I could because that was a season that I was in. I remember when I had Laney. I had a business when I had my third daughter and I remember slowing everything down so that I could be present, obviously.
I was pregnant. I birthed a child, like I needed to recover. And what's interesting is, I was ready to work kind of faster than I thought I would be, and so the optimum for me looks different than other moms who have a baby. I was ready to kind of start working, but in that season it was like five hours a week.
That felt good to me. And the other, you know, hours of my day I was taking care of babies, nursing, changing diapers, all of that. But I took on even some clients in that season when she was still a newborn. And I just didn't have judgment for what I wanted to do. That was important for me and to share that. If you are a newborn mom, that doesn't necessarily work for everyone.
Some people want the six weeks, the three months off, and that's totally fine. This is about optimum. This is not about maximum. And so for me, it was like, what season am I in? The other thing that I think is important to consider is the trade offs. One of the things that I know is that my business growth has not been exponential compared to some people's stories because I am unwilling to work as much as I think they were in the season that I'm in.
I feel like the most empowering metaphor for business is like a faucet; that I get to decide how big my faucet is and when it runs based on the other areas of my life that I want to optimize for. I remember there's been different seasons in my business. One of them I had mono. And I got so sick that I felt like I really turned my business faucet slower so that I could sleep and rest and take care of my babies and take care of my body.
I was not focused on pushing and that was optimum for me in that season. There's also been seasons where I've been launching a product. The things that I think immediately of is like when I launched pro coach, my first course, I worked really hard to make that program available for my clients.
I was working late, recording modules, cause that thing is a mega course, so many modules in there. It's now in Conscious Coach Academy in case you were wondering. So many modules that I recorded like at night, during the day, on the weekends. Wesley took the girls one weekend so I could knock out 20 lessons for the modules.
I worked harder in that season than I am now because that was what was optimum for me. And so there are trade offs, depending on what you want to create. This is why the clarity of your desires is so important, knowing what you're trying to create, knowing the business you actually want, being really honest with yourself.
I remember when I was really honest with myself that I was an ambitious woman. I was like, I'm freaking ambitious. I want more for my life. And honestly, that set me free because before that I hadn't admitted that to myself that I wanted more. So I was doing things that didn't feel great like working without a nanny, not investing in my business, pretending that it didn't really matter when it really did.
That's like eight years ago when that was happening. The moment that I was just like, you know what, I'm an ambitious woman, it helped me optimize my life. And I found entrepreneurship and coaching because I was willing to admit to myself what I wanted. And so I think part of this is always checking in because your desires change. When I first got started, I had no idea what was available to me so what I wanted then and what I want now is different because I am a growing and expanding human being. So are you. You don't ask yourself what you want out of life one time. I continuously ask myself what I want and sometimes it's more of like a formal question like every six months or so I have a formal regimented thing.
I think this is what's useful about having a coach is like hopefully they are asking you this. What do you really want? And aligning with it. And sometimes it's more informal, really checking in on a daily basis, moment to moment.
Like how do I feel? Is this what's of the highest good? Is this getting me where I want to go? I think the other thing that, thinking about the optimum level of success does too, is it keeps you really honest about whether you're working on the right things or not. And this is what I think a lot of people refer to as like masculine or feminine energy comes in in business where it's like, do I need to take more action in this season or do I need to rest more?
Do I need to commit and have more grit and persistence? Or do I need to lean back and trust more? Well that depends on what you're trying to create, and it depends on how you evaluated your actions up to this point. Sometimes things in your life require you to step back from business.
Maybe it's a rocky marriage. Maybe your kid has a diagnosis. Maybe you have a diagnosis. Maybe your health is changing. Maybe something happened in the family and you're responsible for more things than you're used to being responsible for. Maybe your community is demanding more of you, whether that's like a volunteer position or in your church or whatever. There's different seasons and you have to know yourself and what you're willing to trade off. I remember in college there's this saying that was you can have a social life, good grades, or sleep. Pick two. And I remember thinking like I don't believe that. I don't believe that but now I really see that's an intentional choice.
I really think that you can create exactly what you want and there are always trade offs to whatever choice you choose. And I know that sounds like a paradox, so I want to explain. I really feel like I can have the business that I want and be the mom that I want and have the health that I want and the family life that I want.
I really believe that. And I also know the optimum in those scenarios means I'm not going to build a multimillion dollar business. Maybe one day I will choose to do so, given the time and the resources that I'm willing to spend in this season. And I feel good about my choice and I'm not mad at myself for not being further ahead than I want to be one day.
I think that's a huge piece for a lot of people. It's like, you can't also judge yourself for choosing the optimum in the season that you're in. That's not fair to you. And so once you make a choice and you get aligned with that decision and you back up that with action and belief, then you let yourself experience the trade off. That's the physical world that we live in. There will always be trade offs. We are infinite beings with infinite ideas, but with limited and finite resources like time, like human energy. There's only so much I can do in a day. There's only so much time I actually have, and so there has to be trade offs for my decisions.
And so, when you're evaluating what's optimum for me, you have to one: know what you want. You have to know what kind of resources you're willing to give and what you're not willing to give and the consequences of your choices. I know that by choosing certain things in my business, like prioritizing one on one coaching. I love it.
And I don't want to be the kind of coach that doesn't spend time with their clients. So a lot of what I do during my workday is taking care of my one on one clients, responding to Voxers, actually having coaching calls. And so that means maybe less time spent on other things in my business like, learning to run ads, or guest on podcasts. Like as a little micro example.
Other more bigger things, the choosing to not work on certain days of the week so that I can be more present with my girls or like not working on weekends very intentionally. Voxer gets turned off and I focus. Could I get ahead in business if I chose to work weekends and chose to work more? Maybe. I know a lot of people that do, but that's not the optimum for me. I'm not trying to maximize my business output. I'm trying to create an optimum life in all areas of my life. And so I think for all of us, like I said, there's no right or wrong answer here.
It boils down to what do you want? What kind of lifestyle do you want? What kind of business do you want? Cause then the other thing, the flip side of this is if you really do want to make more money, there will be trade offs to create that optimum result. This is something that I see sometimes happen where it's like, we are not entitled to anything just because you want it doesn't mean you get it automatically. We have to line up our actions and our beliefs with that thing. And so, as an example, when I was brand new in business, I spent more time creating clients than I do now. And I was willing to pay that price. That was the trade off to get the success that I wanted because in that season I didn't have the marketing skills, the audience or anything that would make it easy.
It felt harder in that season and I was okay with it because I was optimizing my business in the season that I was in. So one of the things that I'm very clear about, it's not like, “Oh, I'm not making 10 million dollars.” I'm not sad about it. Cause I don't feel like I have, what's the word.
I'm like, I don't deserve it. That's not really the message, but it's more like that's not the optimum for me. I don't want to create that kind of business right now. Maybe one day, but right now I'm not really interested in growing a team. I'm not really interested in running ads. I'm not really interested in doing these huge launches or learning how to go viral.
And that's a conscious choice because of what I'm interested in. And I think that is empowering as heck because then you choose everything that you're creating. You're choosing the way that you're creating it and you're choosing the results that you're creating it, on purpose. So this is where it gets interesting is when I see someone making 10 million dollars, I can genuinely celebrate for them, with them.
That is awesome. They figured out how to do it in a way that works for them. I'm not mad or bitter. I'm not comparing myself. Well, it's not that I don't compare. I'm excited for when that makes sense for me to do all those things. That's okay. I think you could do this in so many different areas. People who aren't getting ready to get married, you can be genuinely happy that your friend is getting married, even if that's not necessarily what's optimum for you in this season of life. Optimum because maybe you don't have someone that you want to marry and that's okay. As a funny example, an adjacent to business building, what is optimum for you is not necessarily what's optimum for other people.
That's okay, more than okay. You just have to keep your blinders on so you don't get distracted by what other people are optimizing for and then you get eyes on the prize. What are you working on? What's lighting you up? What makes sense for the season that you're in and the constraints that you've chosen, and what you're trying to build and the other priorities in your life that are maybe equally important to success in business? And so I just think it's so important to know that the maximum isn't necessarily the optimum. If it is for you, great. Don't get distracted by what I'm saying, right?
And maybe you resonate with what I'm saying. And so you have to spend time really developing what you want and whether you like the trade offs of your choices. We can't defy the laws of physics, time and your finite energy. The resources that you have as a human being are finite.
And so using them wisely. You can't get mad if you don't have clients, if you've never told a soul that you're a coach. That defies the law of physics. It doesn't make sense. You can't be mad you're not making a hundred million dollars, if you haven't scaled the team, run ads, do all the things that people who run a hundred billion dollar businesses do. It doesn't make sense. And so I think it's just being really honest with yourself about what you want, what trade offs you're willing to make, what constraints you have in this season, and what priorities you have.
Then you get to decide what is optimum for you. I will say there have been books that have really helped me. So I want to mention them. One is “Flow” by Mihaly Csikszentmihaly. I'm butchering his name, but look up “Flow,” and look up “The Art of Impossible" because this is what's interesting. “The Art of Impossible" is by Steven Kolter.
Both of those books really helped me learn how to use my time better, be more creative, and get more done in the time that I did have by basically getting into flow and optimizing my life for maximum output in my optimum way. How's that for layers of meaning here? And so those books helped me to see what I could do as a high performer, to maximize the time that I did have, to spend my time wisely. Cause here's the other thing is when we think about the optimum, it's are you doing the things that matter the most? I remember really learning, like I spent so much time, wasted time, trying to figure out how to go viral when all I really want to do is sign one on one clients as an example.
And actually just talk about this in the business of one on one coaching. That did not make sense. You do not need to go viral to create one on one clients. I needed to learn how to create one on one clients and that's when the prosperous coach book came into my life and I was like, “Oh yeah, this is very different”.
And so I think getting clarity about what you're trying to create will help you sort out distractions from what's useful and how to spend your time the wisest. This will also help you know when to raise your prices, when to have a group coaching program, when to tell a client no, when to cap how many clients you take, when to change your schedule, when to raise your prices on your group program, when to have a membership, when to have a podcast. Like all these things start to make sense when you're analyzing and asking yourself powerful questions about the season that you're in and what's optimum and what you really want to create. Being honest with yourself about those things will move the needle in ways that are meaningful to you instead of this endless comparison trap that really doesn't lead to fulfillment or success.
And so I want what's optimum for you. I feel like this is the most important thing we can do as entrepreneurs, as people who care about their families, as people who want to strive for excellence. These kinds of questions really matter. So I hope it was serving you to listen today. Thank you for being here.
Spend time in quiet contemplation about what you really want and the difference between the maximum and the optimum for you in this season, given your priorities, given the phase of life you're in, given what you're trying to create right now. Okay. I'll talk to you in another episode. Bye.
