Hello, hello. And welcome back to the podcast. I'm having a great day and I'm in a fun mood, except you probably heard my voice. I have this gunk that has stuck around. In fact, so I started getting sick when we were in Disney world, which is now a few weeks ago. And I remember being like slightly frustrated because I couldn't sleep because it's like I was just triggered and coughing all night. And I remember thinking it wasn't a big deal but then it just kind of like settled into my chest by the time we had gotten home. And then that cough stuck around for a while and then that developed into a sinus infection, which is where I'm at now. So I apologize for my voice and my cough if it comes out during the podcast.
I’m still in a great mood which is funny. I was actually thinking about that, how far my I guess my mindset work, to say it that way, has come. I just really don't feel like a victim to anything. There's a great line in the book The Way of Mastery. It says you're never a victim to circumstances, even circumstances that you created yourself.
And I think about that all the time and just the power that we have developed and learned through coaching and by choosing our thoughts intentionally, you know. I think it's good for all of us, especially if you've been a coach for a while, to really remind yourself of the work that you do. Like I said, I'm just in a really good mood, even though physically I feel crappy.
I'm excited to be here with you. I'm excited to have this conversation about planting your beliefs. I'm sharing one of my favorite metaphors today. And I just feel like things are in a great place. You know, it's Monday when I'm recording this. I'm getting ready to teach the business of one on one coaching.
I have client calls this week. Things are really good with my family and just feels like an exciting time to be alive. I know that sounds cheesy, but it's just how I'm feeling and just really glad that you're here and listening. So thank you for being a part of the Conscious Coach Community. Like I said, I'm gonna talk about planting your beliefs and I shared this metaphor in the Matrix.
So if you were in the Matrix, you've heard me talk about this metaphor, but I was like, I think this deserves a spot in my podcast feed because it's such a good idea and it's a concept that has really served me and my clients as they grow. And so this idea is that your beliefs are like a little plant, right? And this was something that I really experienced when I was a brand new entrepreneur.
Like my beliefs felt so little and so fragile. It was like this little sapling in a pot with dirt that I was holding and had to protect, right? It was like I carried around this little pot of belief. This little pot where my plant was growing, but it was so tender and small and fragile because any change in environment could totally kill the plant.
And this is how I used the metaphor in the Matrix. I was like, I see entrepreneurs, especially women who have their little belief plant. And then they show it to their husband, right? Like, it's like, I think I could build a seven figure business. Or like, I think I could leave my job. And it's this little belief of what could be. And because it's new, and tender, and vulnerable, it can be squashed really easily. So it's like, you tell your husband, maybe one day I could make six figures as a coach. And he's like, yeah, right. Or like, yeah, maybe one day, you know? And it's like, he takes some of the vitality out of the plant, not because he doesn't love you, not because the plant is bad.
He just doesn't have the same vision as you. And so one of the things that becomes very clear and very important in the beginning is when you have a new belief plant, you protect it from people, even well intentioned people who can destroy it. This was really hard for me to learn, and this is what's interesting.
Even in my own life, Wesley, my husband, is super supportive. Like, always has been. He believes in me. And still, I remember, and it's not because he did it on purpose, right? And this is where a lot of us are. It's not that people are trying to tear you down. They're just nervous for you. They don't have the same experience.
They don't have the same learning, right? My husband didn't listen to the podcast that I listened to, or take the courses that I took. He didn't even want to be a coach, right? So his belief in me as a coach really didn't have anything to do with me and had everything to do with him. But if we're not careful, it's so easy for our belief plants to be squashed unintentionally.
In fact, I was talking to my nephew who wants to be a videogame designer. And I was like, that is so cool. Like you should totally do that. But what's interesting is other people in his life would say like, oh, don't do that. That's like not a good career choice.
So few people make it. And I watched his belief plant get squashed right in front of me. And I was like, this is why we have to be so careful of who we share our visions with. And so one of the power principles of this episode is to share your belief plants with people who have already grown their belief plant. Take advice from people who have done what you want to do or who are currently doing what you want to do, right? Like they have so much belief because they know it can be done. If I meet a brand new coach, I'm like, you can absolutely make it in this industry because I'm doing it. I know what it takes.
It's not easy. It takes a lot of belief and faith and it takes massive action. It takes, I would say, aligned action. It takes learning. It takes humility. There's things that definitely you have to do and definitely things that you have to unlearn to make it as a coach, but you can. I would never be skeptical of someone's dreams to be a coach, right?
And so we have to be careful of our own belief plans and who we make it exposed to. If it's someone who loves you, but is afraid, who doesn't have the same beliefs as you, they're probably not the person that you want to share your belief plant with. And this is where I tell all my clients, I'm like, I'm a safe person to share belief plants with.
I will not squash it. I will help you develop the beliefs in action to make it real and it might not be a linear path to where you want to go. There might be bumps. There might be detours. There might be situations where it feels impossible, but we will make it happen with your thoughts, words, and actions on a creative level. And I will partner with you to do that, I feel like I'm a belief partner, like I believe with you and we brainstorm together. And so that's why I believe in the power of coaching is all the coaches that I've ever hired, which like last episode was about how I hire my coaches and mentors.
All of the coaches I've ever hired had more belief in what I wanted to do than me, which is why I hired them. Whether that was fitness, whether that was money, whether that was business. I hired them because they had more belief in the results that I wanted than I did because they were bordering certainty.
They have seen it so many times. They've seen it for themselves. Their belief was so strong and we're going to talk about the phases of the belief plan that their belief was like a tree. That was fully grown, right? It was so sturdy and strong that it could withstand storms. It didn't need constant monitoring. Their belief was powerful. And so I wanted to calibrate to their belief, which is what we do as coaches. But this is about you. This podcast is about you as the client. Hopefully you take it that way. And hopefully it gives you ideas for how you can coach your clients as well. I think one of the mistakes I make, or made.
I try not to do this anymore. It's like, I would listen to something like, oh, that's for so and so, right? Like I'd hear a talk or a podcast, and be like, so and so really needs that. And now I'm like, no, no, no, no. It's always for me. So I wanted you to check in with yourself. This episode is about you and your belief plants.
And if it also helps and supports your clients, great. But first listen to it for you because you will always be in process of developing new beliefs as you grow. I remember my goals at the beginning of being a coach were like, I want to make a thousand dollars a month. I remember that being a huge life-changing number for me.
And so when I hear coaches be embarrassed that they've made a thousand dollars a month, I smile because it's like, don't downplay your own growth. Be excited about what you're really wanting to create in the season. And there will always be more. When you achieve one level, there's just a new level that's unlocked and a new vision that's shown to you that you get to move towards.
So I know no matter where you are in business, this applies, right? Because you have some beliefs that are like full grown trees and they don't need a lot of monitoring. And then you have some beliefs that are this tender baby plant that you have to protect. And so if it's in this little pot and you have to protect it from people who might dismantle it, who might destroy it, those are strong words, but you get what I'm saying, right?
Because they don't believe the same as you. They haven't put in the work like you. They don't even know it's possible because they haven't studied the industry. They don't know what's actually possible. You have to protect your plant from them. So what this actually looks like when I was brand new, I would not tell Wesley, even though I love him to death.
And we are best friends and we have a great marriage. There was some things about my vision that I didn't tell him because I was afraid that he wouldn't believe as strongly as me and that that would sway my belief. I remember the first time I had the thought, like I want to make six figures as a coach.
I did not tell him. I told my coach because I was afraid if I told him that he'd be like, oh, okay, babe. Like, we'll see, but like, don't worry about it. You know, like kind words, but also destructive. I didn't tell him because I wanted to protect my belief plant in making six figures. And I nurtured that belief plant until I was strong enough to share it with him so that no matter what he said to me, my belief would not be swayed.
That's how I know a belief is able to be shared, is that nothing can deter me from believing this for myself. And until then, I only share my desires, my visions with people who I know can hold my belief and who will protect my belief plant too. They are gonna guard it. They're gonna keep it safe. They're gonna tell me how to nurture it and grow it.
And until I feel like it can stand on its own or that I don't have to protect it, that like, I'm okay if other people don't believe in this. I'm okay if I'm the only one in my family or in my circle of friends who believes this. That's how I know a belief is able to be shared. I've done the nurturing so that it can stand on its own.
The imagery that I have is like, I've grown the plant in a pot, then I put it in a new pot. Because it kept growing and then eventually it was so big and strong that I planted it outside. And now that plant can withstand storms, lightning, well, maybe not lightning, but like storms, rain, snow, not being watered every day.
Like I don't have to go out and water my tree. And in fact, I'm looking at my office and we have a tree in our front yard. I don't go and water that tree. That tree is just there. It's there through winter. It's there through summer. In the summer, it has leaves. In the spring it has flowers. It's beautiful, but I don't need to protect it.
I'm not out there guarding it, right? Cats climb on it. My kids climb on it. Like it's windy. There's snow on it sometimes and it can withstand it because it has grown strong. That's what I want my beliefs to be like. And if they're not like that, I'm not going to put them in environments where they can be squashed or where they can be frozen. And so it's being aware of where your belief is really at and not judging yourself if you have a weak belief. I think this was the best thing that I did. As a coach, I really wasn't exposed to very much. I was kind of in my own little bubble of coaching. And so I had no idea that people were out there making like 10 million dollars.
Fifty million dollars in their coaching companies. I was just like, I would love to make a thousand dollars a month. And I nurtured that belief until I made a thousand dollars a month. And then, you know, the numbers have grown obviously since then, but I didn't get caught up that my belief was wrong.
I didn't judge my small belief. I just nurtured it. And so that's a huge piece of this because I think especially coaches who are exposed to lots of other coaches who are making, you know, millions of dollars, and you're just trying to make $5,000 or $10,000 this month. You know what I'm saying. There's no judgment.
But sometimes the amounts that we find meaningful are a lot less than other people in the industry. And that's okay. Especially if you want a one on one coaching business, right? That's kind of under the radar, where you're not in the public eye. I know I've heard from my community that that's often what you want, at least in this season. Maybe you're raising kids. Maybe you just want a quiet life and you only want to work with a handful of clients. Whatever the situation is, you are working on your own beliefs and desires. And so I think the worst thing you could do is judge yourself for not believing in it. We're having awareness about our beliefs and the state that they're in, whether it's a baby plant, whether it's an adolescent plant, or whether it's full grown.
We're just being aware of where we're really at so that we can make decisions on who we share the beliefs with and how we act. And so as your belief plant grows, you take it from the little plant and you put it in a big pot. For me, hiring my coaches felt like that. My belief had grown big enough that I could take it out of its current pot, put it in a bigger one, add more soil, maybe I move it, you know, maybe it needs more sunlight, maybe it needs a certain kind of… I'm like going extreme with this metaphor, but hopefully you're still with me… maybe I'm adding nutrients to the soil, maybe it needs more sunlight during the afternoon. So I put it in a different room. And for me, that looked like getting coaching myself, joining courses and masterminds, putting myself in a different environment so that my belief could keep growing until it was so solid. It could be in my front yard on its own.
There's kind of two various mistakes that I see coaches make. I've made them too. Sometimes you show your belief plant to the wrong person, where like they squash it. You showed it too early or you showed it to the wrong person, who don't believe in what you want to do. Or you don't put the plant in a new environment for it to grow. If you have a belief plant that you've been nurturing by yourself. This is something that's so key.
I did this for like two years or like a year. Where like, I was very safe. So like the first year or two in my business as a life coach, I just was coaching and then I would invest in things like books and WordPress trainings and a business course for a long time. But I was really afraid of getting my own one on one coaching, even though I was delivering one on one coaching. And my business exponentially grew the first time I hired my own one on one coach because she could hold the belief with me. And it gave me a new environment to grow in. And so if you have belief plans that you've been nurturing, maybe you're super devoted every day.
You're like putting little water on your plan. You're making sure it gets sunlight and it's not growing. It might be because it's time to take it out of its current pot, put it in a bigger one, and put it in a different room. That might look like joining a mastermind. That might look like hiring a coach yourself.
That might look like changing your niche because you know you need to. It might look like going to a conference across the country. Just putting yourself in different environments to actually grow. I love hiring people who believe bigger than me. That is so expansive to me because it helps me keep growing things that I used to think were impossible.
I love believing impossible things. I think it's so fun. And there's a lot of times that I've blown my own mind because I chose to believe something new. Like I remember, listening to different podcasts early on and being like, I can do this. I was just a stay at home mom with like this little laptop.
And I worked at night when my kids were in bed. I slipped my work into the cracks, but I had this little belief. So like one day, like at the time if you've been a follower, like I started my business with a lot of financial turmoil in my personal life, with my little family because we had student loans.
We were young. My husband was newer in his career, so he wasn't making that much money. Like things are super tight, but I had this belief in myself and my ability to make money. And so I fit my little work schedule before I had a nanny, like anything. And I had this little baby plant belief that I nurtured through books, through podcasts, and through action.
I would take action. And over time, my believe plant grew until it couldn't grow anymore in the environment. And so then I grew the environment. I hired a mommy's helper. I hired my first coach. I raised my prices. I started learning things that made me even more valuable to my clients.
Like I put myself in a different environment, so that I could grow myself and all the little belief plants. And this is why it's an eternal game or an infinite game like Simon Sinek says. It's like once you grow one belief plant, like let's say your belief plant is “I can make 100k,” and then you grow that plant and then you repot it into a bigger pot and then one day it's time for you to plant it outside, and then it grows to full strength and you made a 100K.
Now you don't have to believe in making a 100K. It's concrete evidence. I've worked with lots of people who have crossed six figures. Then it's just like, okay, now I'm going to make multiple six figures or now I'm going to make multiple six figures in two days a week, right? Like the goal just changes.
And so then a new belief plant is formed in the little pot and you start the process over again. I think the more you play this game and the longer you've been a coach, the quicker that this happens. I know for me, my beliefs don't take a ton of time to become solid on their own, but in the beginning, it took years, right?
Like, and now it takes months for beliefs to develop into something that I don't feel like I have to protect it from the outside world because I know how it works. I know the process. I know the principles. And so, like I mentioned, there's kind of two ways that I think you can destroy belief plants.
One is by not nurturing them, not taking care of them, not protecting them from people who can destroy them. And then the second piece is by not putting them in new environments to grow. And it's uncomfortable to take your belief plant and put it in a new bigger pot, adding more sun, maybe even exposing it to some of the elements. It can feel vulnerable and scary. And yet that is exactly what makes the plant grow. There's that classic metaphor of the tree that if the tree grows without wind, it will be weak later. So it's important that the tree experiences wind as it grows because it makes the roots deeper and it makes the bark stronger as it grows.
And I'm not an arbologist or an arbolist, whatever. I'm not into trees. So bear with me as my metaphor isn't exact. But you understand what I'm saying. A tree goes stronger if it grows in the conditions that are a little harder. Same thing for like a little belief plant that you move into a bigger pot.
Like it needs room to grow, to strengthen the roots, to grow bigger. And so if you've been holding yourself back because it's uncomfortable, I want to challenge you to put yourself in a different environment to grow and simultaneously get people around you who will also protect that belief.
That want the belief to grow, that want to see you thrive, that maybe have been there and done that, so that they can speak with certainty for you so that you can calibrate to their belief. That has been super useful to me is to calibrate to people who believe in bigger things than I do. And I grow that way.
And what's cool about this whole process is eventually your beliefs get to a place where they need minimal attending. A lot of my beliefs, I don't have to super practice, right? Like I think in the beginning I was doing a lot of thought work and belief work because I had tender beliefs. I didn't have the strength of belief that I do now.
And so all of my beliefs felt very tender. They felt very nerve wracking. I was like super nervous to try new things. I was afraid of failing public. I was afraid of people finding out what I wanted to create. And now they feel way more solid because I've done this work for a long time and because I've planted so many beliefs and grown them to adulthood, I guess, where they've come to fruition and then it becomes my reality and then I decide on a new thing and it starts over. Like new baby plant belief based on the new vision that I have and then I start the process and I nurture it and I grow it and I get people around me who believe in me, who believe in this thing more than me, who will help nurture and fuel my belief and not my doubt. Which is why coaching is so powerful, which is why mentorship is so powerful, is because you can borrow people's belief when you don't believe, and so your plant grows. Your belief plant continues to grow until it's fully formed, and then you experience it in your physical reality. And then you start the process over because once you reach one level, you just identify a new level. Or the other metaphor is like, you're climbing a mountain that has no peak, right?
You get to the peak and you realize there's another one. It's an infinite game. Most people, once they get to their new level are just like, okay, what's next? Because it's the pursuit that feels good. It's pursuing our potential.
It's the growth that we love. It is not arriving. And that's sometimes hard to digest I think a little bit because we think circumstances changing will make us happy, but what I found is like it really is in the creative process and the becoming process that our joy is found. And so I hope this metaphor serves you as you are in your becoming process, right?
Like as you're becoming the greatest version of you, as you're growing your beliefs in yourself and what your business is capable of and how much money you can make, and how much you work and what kind of clients you work with and how your business gets to be, they all start with your beliefs. If your mind is the fertile soil that these beliefs are planted in, mindset work, thought work, consciousness work, whatever you want to call it, become so important. I am obsessed with reading and learning from people who are doing bigger things than me and believing in possibilities that most people don't believe in because I want to keep my mind like a fertile ground for these beliefs to grow.
I recommend you do the same. I hope this podcast is a place where you can come to like feel your belief. I can't say enough good things about like getting your own coach for someone who's done what you want to do, even group coaching, one on one coaching, programs, courses, books, it doesn't really matter.
I think that there's phases for both where one will serve more than the other. I think you can trust yourself. But the idea is like to help grow the plant, the belief plant, until it becomes your reality. Get people in your corner in your life to support that process for you. It makes it so much easier than trying to do it alone.
And if you try to do it alone, you will get to a certain point where the environment is not enough to grow your plant and so you have to do it with other people. I really think that that's a powerful metaphor that I wish I learned early because now I hire support, I get coaching, I've joined masterminds.
Like I've mentioned, I've done a ton of things to put myself in the environment to grow and to believe bigger and it's exponentially grown my business. And so I wanted to add it as part of something for you to consider. Grow your belief plants big. Nurture them until they become able to withstand all the external environments that would crush them. Where they're so strong that it doesn't matter what's happening on the outside.
Your belief is strong. That's the idea. And then the other thing that I mentioned that I think is relevant to bring up before we close is the awareness. Not the judgment of your beliefs. You don't need to judge your small beliefs. Just become aware that maybe these beliefs need more protecting right now.
This belief needs more nurturing. This belief needs more time to settle in. This belief needs someone in my corner to believe more, instead of having judgment for yourself, just become aware and then act accordingly. Okay. I hope this episode was helpful for you. Please share it with a friend if it was. I would really appreciate it.
And I will see you in another episode. Bye.
