Hello, everyone. Welcome back to the podcast. I'm really excited today. I'm going to be talking about how I choose my mentors and coaches. I thought it'd be kind of fun to talk about coaching, specifically one on one coaching is on my mind because I'm getting ready to lead a live event in March, which you are invited to, called the business of one on one coaching.
If you're not in the CCA, the Conscious Coach Academy, get in there, so we can hang out together in March. Because it's exclusively for people who are in CCA or in the Matrix. And we're going to talk all about the business of one-on-one coaching. And so I've been just thinking about, like, what makes great a great coach?
Why have I hired the coaches that I've hired? What has worked about my coaching business? What has worked about my clients who have coaching businesses who have been successful? And so I thought it'd be kind of fun to just, like, condense, kind of the questions that I ask when I'm thinking about hiring a coach.
And this is important. I think this is a good principle, is that I'm the kind of person who is looking for great coaching myself. And so that's like something that I apply in my own business, right? Like I trust that other people are also looking for great coaching and that I can fit into their story of transformation by being who I am in the world, right?
And we're going to talk about the questions that I ask for myself when I'm going to hire a coach and then I reverse engineer these questions for myself and it'll make more sense as we go along. So let's just dive in.
So the first question I have written down is like, do they have the results that I want? Right? Themselves. And I wrote this because it's not just, do they know the theory? Do they know the principles that are true? It's like, have they learned how to embody it themselves? Cause I, early, early, early, let's see, like, I was still in college, when I remember learning this lesson, it was like, I really only want to learn from people who have the results that I want.
And this is like the classic scenario, it's like, if you've ever gotten, like, financial advice from, like, your broke friend. That does not make sense. Especially in my circle, it's like people who give advice about business, but they don't have a business. People who talk about the economy, but they don't know how to create money.
I don't know, it just doesn't make sense for me to like hire someone who's not living, like truly embodying what they teach. So I asked, do they have the results that I want? This is business, fitness, money, anything. And this is what's interesting, I would say that's more of like a mentor than a coach because I think a coach helps you with your thoughts, and they apply the tool of coaching. But I've hired many coach mentors. So it's like a role that they play in my life where sometimes we're coaching and sometimes we're mentoring.
That's what I do for many of my clients. Sometimes I'm coaching and sometimes I'm mentoring. So if you don't resonate with that, if you don't identify as like a mentor, that may or may not be useful to think about, but this is how I see it. I really want to know that they've created the results that I'm looking for.
Number two is have they helped other people just like me, get the results that they are promising? Like, do they have evidence that they can do what they say they can do. And so this is where I like hearing stories. I like testimonials. I like seeing people repost their content or like that they have a community that they've built. I want to make sure that I'm not gonna be an anomaly for them.
Number three, do they have similar values to me? This is just important on a personal level for me, is I think it's easier to trust. I think it's easier to get into the work, to be vulnerable, to share everything that I think I need to share, if I also know that they have similar values to me.
And the way that I define values, I actually got this from the Hormozis. I really like it. It's like, if vision is where we're going, values is how we get there. So like some of my values are like family first, right? Integrity, honesty, excellence, like trying my best. Those kinds of qualities, like do they have similar values to me?
Number four, does it feel like a yes in my gut? I've really learned to trust this more in recent years. In the beginning, almost all of the coaches or mentors that I hired, it was very like logical and cerebral. The first business course I ever bought was from Tony Robbins and Dean Graziosi and it didn't feel like, I don't know how to explain it, but my decision making was very logical. I was like, if they are teaching how to build out a group program, I can take this course and learn how to build a group program.
But my first one on one coach, it was like, I just knew in my gut she was going to help mentor me in taking my business to six figures. That was the first one on one coach I ever hired. And I just had a feeling in my gut. And I've learned to trust that. And it wasn't like I didn't answer any of the other questions that I've already mentioned.
Like, I did qualify her, I guess, as someone who had similar values to me, who could help me because she's helped other people, and she was living the way that I wanted to live and doing business the way that I wanted to do business. And so she checked all those boxes, and I had that feeling in my gut, like, this is good for you.
And so I've learned to trust that I've done that for hiring my nannies. I've done that for hiring my house cleaner. I've done it for the schools that my kids go to and the opportunities that I say yes to, I really trust my gut feeling about stuff. And so I think it applies to coaching is like, do you have a gut feeling of yes or gut feeling of no? Trust it.
Not a scientific, kind of, I guess. Because I think you can probably look back on your life experiences. I know for me, I've made investments in coaching or like a group program or a course. I did it because I was nervous, or I did it because I thought I should, or I did it because I didn't want to miss out, things like that.
And I always regretted it. Because I had that gut feeling that like, yeah, it seems like it's a good idea, but maybe not for you, or like, maybe not the right time. And I just ignored it, or I dismissed it, and I did it anyway, and then I regretted it later. Maybe it didn't pan out the way I thought, or like, it wasn't the kind of experience that was most beneficial for me, or whatever.
But I had the gut feeling, and I ignored it, and then I regretted ignoring it later. And so now it's like, I trust my gut feelings about things so much about everything. And I think, failure to trust your gut helps you learn to trust your gut better. So I'm not like mad at myself for places where I fell short or where I didn't trust myself. I just used that to develop the sense. Going forward, I'm looking for that gut feeling, like, is this a yes?
Number five, my question is, do they demonstrate excellence? This is important to me because this is about, are they living it? Are they doing their best? I don't like it when people half do something right? They’re kind of in, kind of out, because that's not how I like to show up for my business.
Like if I sign a client, like I'm all in with that person. If I'm going to do a new program, I'm all in, like I'm committed. I want to give it my all. And that doesn't mean perfectionism. So I'm not looking for people to be perfectionistic, but I am looking like, do they demonstrate excellence in their craft and how they operate in their business?
Number six, do I trust them? I think you can sense if you trust someone or not. Like, do I feel like I can share vulnerable things? Do I feel like I can tell them what I'm really going through or like, give them the real facts so that they can help me? Because I think especially for one on one it's such an important aspect of the relationship is that you trust them enough to like share, especially depending on the kind of coaching that you're doing, like, it can be kind of vulnerable and personal, right?
And so you want to be able to trust them with that information, you want to be able to trust that they're not going to judge you, that they're just going to coach you and support you. That if you share, like, mistakes that you've made, or reality that you're in, that they're just going to have your back. That's so important.
And then the last question that I wrote down for how I choose my coaches and mentors is, are they creating value for the world? This is important to me. Like, I prefer one on one coaching, but I like to see my coaches creating value for lots of people. Cause that's kind of how I run my business as well.
It's like just a value for me. It's like, yes, I do these things for my clients and I try to create a podcast, I write emails, I create content for the masses, like for the world. And so that's just a personal one for me is like, is this person trying to make the world better? It just makes me happy to know that they are out in the world doing good things.
And so I feel great about hiring them. And so just to recap the seven questions, and this isn't like exclusive, like there might be more questions, but these are big questions that I ask myself before I hire my own coaches or mentors. It's number one, do they have the results that I want? Number two, have they helped other people like me get the results that they are promising?
Number three, do they have similar values to me? Number four, does it feel like a yes in my gut? Number five, do they demonstrate excellence? Number six, do I trust them? Number seven, are they creating value for the world? And that's how I really think about it. Most of the time I follow my coaches on social media.
I get on their email list. I listen to their podcast. I kind of like I'm a lurker before I'm ready to hire. And this is why I teach, like, you don't know if it's working or not, like, you just have to have faith because you don't know how people are experiencing you, like, I'm one of those people that, like, I am so quiet.
I don't DM the person. I just like quietly observe and learn and I'm a good student long before I ever hired them. And then one day I'm just ready to hire them and I'm like coming out of the woodwork. Right. And that's why I teach the clients come from places known and unknown because I am that kind of client myself.
And so you can reverse engineer all of these questions to make yourself a better coach, right? Like, these are the questions that I ask myself before I hire my coaches and mentors. But these are also the questions that I look at in the mirror. Am I living these things? Do I have the results that my clients want?
Have I helped other people like my client get the results that they want? Do we have similar values? I think as far as coach clients is concerned, like I think it's okay that you also have the values that you want your clients to have. Right? It makes sense. Does it feel like a yes in my gut for this client? I think as you grow and you become more high level, I don't think you're looking to coach just anyone and everyone. I know there's a phase in my business where I took on anyone that was willing to let me coach them. And that was useful, I think of that, like my coach internship, right? Where I was just trying to get experience under my belt.
I was trying to make money and get my business off the ground. But now that my business is a little bit more evolved. I don't take every client that comes my way, and not all clients are a great fit especially for one on one. And so, I don't think you have to have your default being like an offer to people.
If they get on a consult, if they're asking you about coaching. It's not just an automatic yes for me. And I think that as you grow as a coach that becomes more apparent when you start working with your ideal clients. It's like, oh, like this is the kind of client that I want more of. This is the kind of client that I work best with.
And so if you don't have that gut feeling yes for a client, like you don't have to make them an offer, and that is more than okay. Number six is do I trust them? Do I trust my clients? And vice versa, am I demonstrating trust? Am I earning their trust? Am I safe with their trust? Like, do I protect their trust?
Do I honor their trust? I think that matters. Am I the kind of person who is trustworthy? Do I keep my clients' matters private? Am I the kind of person that like they can share anything with me and I've got them? That matters to clients because it matters to me as a client, right? So I want to do that for my clients as their coach.
And then number seven, am I creating value for the world? I think that that matters to me just like on a personal level. I've always wanted to be someone who gives back, who makes the world better, who uses my gifts and my skills and the things that I've developed over time to serve and bless other people.
And I think if I can answer these questions the way that I want to, I feel an integrity and that's like an important quality of business. It's like, are you in integrity with what you teach and how you grow your business and how you want other people to do their business with you? And so I think these questions are useful.
I hope they're helpful to you. And like I said, if you want to go deep into creating a one on one coaching business, come join me. You can check it out. Like I said, it's not going to be a standalone program. It's going to go inside the CCA, so you've got to join the Academy, but it's going to be so fun.
I have five live modules that I'm going to teach and then I'm going to do a Q&A, and we start on March 13th. So if you want to join the Academy and come join us for the business of one-on-one coaching, go to www.itsambersmith.com/academy and I will see you there. Okay. Talk to you soon. Bye.
