ļ»æHey you guys, welcome back to the podcast. I feel like I'm finally kind of back in the swing of things after a long time off. My girls are back in school. We're kind of getting back into our normal routine. I'm playing basketball and basketball started up again, and I just feel like I'm kind of back in normal life, instead of the beautiful, but also kind of floaty feeling of the holidays.
I don't know if you experienced that, but I for sure did, and it was very magical and I loved it. And it was great to take time off and it's good to be back too. And this isn't the first podcast of the year by any means, I've recorded a few, but it just feels a little bit different now that I'm back in more of a routine and I'm happy to be with you.
So today we're going to be talking about intentions versus goals. And this was inspired by a comment I got from a CCA member. So she's in the Conscious Coach Academy and she messaged me, based on a module that I call quantum play, which is basically like next level understanding of creating consciously.
And I was like, oh, this is such a good question. I think I'm going to record a whole podcast about it because one of the things that I know is I think very different than mainstream or traditional success. And so if you're familiar with things like smart goals, this episode will either offend you or it'll feel like a breath of fresh air because I'm going to just offer a very different way of thinking about creating and achieving success.
I teach a concept that I love called holistic success because that's what I stand for. And I don't want you to have success at the cost of your relationships or at the cost of your mental health or your body, or physical health. I want you to have it all. And what's interesting about that is when I say that, have it all, a lot of people like genuinely don't believe that that's possible, right?
They think that they have to trade something for something else. And this is what I find fascinating, like this is often even taught. I remember in college when I was studying to get my psychology degree, one of the common things that I would hear people say is like, you can have sleep, a social life, or good grades, but you can't have all three basically.
And I just believe that I was like, oh, that's true. Like, I guess I can't have all three. And what I know now, I would never say that now. But back then I kind of just thought that's how life was. And now, because I've realized like what we speak, what we think, the words we use, and the actions we take really come down to our paradigm and how we see life.
I really do think you can have it all. It just might be different than what you originally thought. I'll share a little bit of a vulnerable example, but one of the things that I know to be true and one of the things that I've heard from my clients is one of the reasons that they want to hire me is because I live my life a certain way, right?
I'm happily married with children. I work part time. I have a thriving business. I do make money in my business. I don't talk a ton about like how much I make or anything like that, but I am financially very successful. And I'm very grateful for that. I feel very supported. I feel like I have a strong spiritual life, and I know that that's very vulnerable to say. I recorded a podcast episode a few months ago now called Unrelatable.
And that feels unrelatable because I know not everyone can say that they have all of those things happening at the same time, but I do. And I think it's important that you have an example in your life of that. Not that my life is perfect but I have a great life and I feel like I have it all. And I think one of the reasons that we shy away from claiming that is because it makes you unrelatable to people who struggle.
And one of the things that I learned from Byron Katie that really changed my life was the difference between pain and suffering. I have pain in my life, but I don't suffer. I let go of suffering as a mentality and a way of life a long time ago because I realized suffering was a state of mind. Pain is something that happens, right?
Right, like the pain of losing a loved one or the pain of being sick or being injured. The pain of not getting what you thought you wanted or, you know, your car breaking down or like rolling your ankle. I got there's so many different things that I could share that are painful, but I don't suffer because suffering is a mental state.
And one of the things that we're grown to love to study is like conscious mastery. And that was what my last podcast was really about, was like conscious life mastery, about choosing to live your life and think certain ways so that you have mastery. To me, mastery means no suffering because you realize that you are the cause of your life.
So if you have something that you don't want, you can take ownership that you created that. And then by doing so you get to create what you do want. If you never take ownership of what you're creating, you can never change it. If you take on victim consciousness where everything and everyone is to blame except for you for your life circumstances, they have the power in your life.
And so I think part of mastery means taking ownership. And so why am I sharing this when I said I was going to talk about intensions versus goals? Because this is how I think I've created so much success in lots of different areas of my life. And in fact, one of the things that I'm actually working on, there's a great book called the Big Leap, which I've mentioned in reference before, but he talks about upper limits and I am constantly going through upper limits because my body is like it can't be this good, something has to happen, right? And maybe you're familiar with that. It's like I can't have a great marriage and a great family life and make all this money and have amazing clients and like everything's working.
It can't be this good. Like that's what my brain wants to say. And every time I notice that it's like breathe through it. It can be this good. It's good to feel good. I'm allowed to experience this. Thank you, more please because one of the things that Gay Hendrix talks about in the book, The Big Leap. He talks about how we have this like thermostat of success, and if we go beyond that, our natural instinct, like left unchecked, unconscious mind, will want to bring you back down to the level of success that feels safe.
And so you sabotage, and I don't want to sabotage. I like my life, and I like that things are all working, and so being conscious, staying awake to what you're thinking, what you're expecting, what you believe is possible is so important. And I mentioned that we're going to talk about intentions versus goals because how we have this conversation really matters.
Because I don't just want you to have traditional success. I want you to have exponential success. And when I say that, that doesn't mean like this loud like in your face success. In fact, one of the types of feedback that I get a lot is that I'm very quietly successful, and I really resonate with that.
That's how I like it. I like to be quietly successful. I don't feel like I have to be in your face about how much money I make or what my business is doing. I just feel like I get to enjoy the fruits of my intentions. And that's what I want to talk about today. And so I made like a little list in preparation for this episode about like what are the differences between intentions and goals?
Based on this comment I got from the CCA member who, if you're listening, thank you for your question. It was so good. To me, an intention isn't a preference. A goal often becomes a need for people. So I've taught this a lot in many different ways, but I teach my clients to need nothing because abundance is all there is.
And God is abundant. The universe is abundant. We live in a world of infinite abilities, possibilities, opportunities if we have the eyes to see them. And what I've noticed is people who come up in the traditional success model, where it's like setting smart goals as an example, like specific, measurable, you know, whatever.
I can't remember actually the acronym, but I'm sure you've heard of smart goals. And what I've noticed in myself and others, when we operate from a goal, it's like, I can't be happy until I achieve X, Y, Z. For coaches it's often like, I really wanted to make a 100K a year or 10K a month, or I want to make 500K a year, whatever it is.
And it's like, there's this secret, in the background anxiety, dissatisfaction, pressure, unease, and like, honestly, like, just not happy because they haven't achieved their goal yet. And they kind of measure their months. It's like, okay, if I want to make a 100K a year, that's 8,333 a month. And I only hit 5,000 this month.
Therefore I suck, or therefore I can't be happy, or therefore I'm dissatisfied with my life. Therefore it's not working, and I quickly noticed I did not like that paradigm of success. I didn't like feeling like I wasn't successful if I wasn't quote on track to meet my goals. And so what I love about having an intention is it's a preference, and there's a great book called Handbook to Higher Consciousness by Ken Keyes Jr.
And one of the things he talks about, he makes the distinction between a preference and an addiction. An addiction is something that you need to have to be happy, right? So like, if I need success to be happy, I'm addicted to it. What I like about the word preference and what intentions, like the word intentions is a preference to me, as an example earlier. My preferences that I make $8,333 a month. But I don't need it to be happy.
And that difference is everything. So when I set a monthly intention, it's what I want to create. It's what I'm intending to create. And I can line up my thoughts and words and actions with it being done, right? Which is something we talked about in Consciously Creating. But if it's a goal, I feel like the word and it is semantics, but our words shape the way that we see life.
So I think it actually matters, right? If I need it to happen, if I have a goal to make 8k a month or whatever, and I'm noticing when I'm not, I'm noticing where I'm falling short, I'm noticing where I'm failing. A lot of times you are unhappy. I coach a lot of people who are leaving the traditional success model because they're unhappy.
They don't like it. It doesn't feel soulful. It doesn't feel aligned. It doesn't feel expansive. It doesn't feel spiritual is another word that I've heard, because not that anyone teaches this explicitly, this is implicitly understood that you have to struggle to meet your goals or to make it happen.
And I teach setting intentions. So like I mentioned, I actually got a lot of feedback about something I said kind of offhandedly in one of my episodes about how I don't set like a yearly revenue goal. I want to add that I do set monthly intentions, and that's kind of why this episode was inspired for me.
I do set a monthly intention and it's usually a range. So, we'll use the same example; instead of saying I want to make 100k a year, I would say I want to make between 8 and 10k a month. I'm beyond making a 100k, but I'm using the same example for you or whoever's listening to this.
I don't think it matters what you want to create. I like the monthly, and it's an intention. It is not a goal. I am fine if I don't hit it. I am fine if it doesn't look like I'm on track and ironically the more detached I am from my intention, the easier it happens. So I sign clients very easily.
I make money very easily because it's a preference. I'm not struggling for it. I think in the word goal, a lot of people have this belief that they have to struggle to achieve their goals. And that is not a paradigm that I buy into. In fact, it's very vulnerable to say this, but I don't feel like I have to struggle at all in my life or my business.
I have a hard time saying that to people who do struggle, but this is actually how I live. I set powerful intentions for my life and my business. I line up my thoughts, my words, and my actions. And I trust that I will do what I know how to do. And I trust that God will do what God needs to do, and that co-creation process is always unfolding for me.
I do believe it's always working. I think the other thing that I'll say about intentions versus goals is intentions leave room for possibility, but I feel like goals create pressure. I don't like creating from pressure. I spent a lot of my business in the beginning working from pressure, right? It's like, okay, I invested in a coach, now I have to make that money back and I have to make my investment worth it.
And it felt like pressure versus possibility. And what's interesting is I teach a paradigm where it's like predictability versus possibility, or predictability versus potentiality. And with intentions, I'm very open to being, I guess the way that I'll say this is open to creative possibilities.
I don't think I have to make a certain amount of money a certain way. Here's an example, I had a monthly intention to make a certain amount of money, but I never said I have to make a certain amount of money through one on one, or through the Matrix sales, or through programs, or through people joining CCA.
I leave it very open, like I would love to make between X and Y this month and I'm open to it looking any number of ways. I trust that it will be. And so the possibility keeps me open to all the different pathways that can unfold to create the results that I want. I feel like with goals, sometimes what happens is we set a goal and then we like also make a plan. A blueprint, a decision on how it's going to happen. And then when it doesn't happen or when you have to change your plans, it feels like it can't work. And so intention, the word intention to me feels open, like I can create it any number of ways that there's not just one way to make this happen.
Another, I guess, distinction between intentions and goals. I feel like intention leaves room for a lot of inner intelligence or inspiration, but goals I think facilitate a lot of outward comparison. And I've seen this in lots of different communities. This isn't calling out any specific community, but I see this like milestones being put on a pedestal, like the first 10k month or the 100k year or a 25k month or whatever.
Insert whatever milestone you've heard discussed, and that becomes your goal because you saw someone else do it. And I've been there. I remember the first time I heard someone make 25k a month. I was like, I'm going to make 25k a month. And it wasn't inward like inspiration. It was very much outward comparison.
And so it became my goal, and I felt like crap the whole month trying to make that happen versus a true inspired desire. And now I make way more than 25k a month, but that was my work in the beginning, was like coming back home to myself. In psychology, they talk about internal locus of control versus external locus of control.
And the internal locus of control, I think leaves a lot of room for inspiration. In the beast book business sprints that I launched a few months ago, I talk about meaningful milestones to you. It's separate from what's happening in the industry. It's separate from what's common. It's separate from what's traditional success.
It's meaningful to you. And that intention is super specific to you. So you kind of put your blinders on, you're not worried about what Jane down the street is doing, or what Susan next door is doing, or what Jenny from your group coaching program is doing. Like you're just focused on what you're doing. And it feels good to you because you have your blinders on and their intentions that are meaningful to you.
And they are inwardly created. It's an inward experience of a true desire that you have. Intentions ask, what would I love? Goals ask, what should I want? I feel like a lot of time when people use goals, it's something that they got from someone else instead of spending time with themselves connected to spirit and getting inspired based on their true desires.
Not that you can't get inspired from other people. I definitely use social media that way. I'm inspired by other people, but I don't slip into comparison. I don't make it mean that my life isn't enough just because someone else has more money or a better house or whatever, right? It means that there's more for me to experience and explore and create, but I never make it mean that where I'm at right now is not enough. I think that's such an important distinction.
So to me, when I was focused on achieving goals, my current life didn't feel good enough. And I do not like that. I was actually just sharing with a friend that I really love the word expansion because it means that my life is good enough right now. And I want more, not because I'm trying to compensate or overcome my current circumstances, but because it's a fun game to play.
It's fun to see what I'm capable of. I like living into my potential, whether that's growing my business, or personal goals, relationships that I want to work on, health and fitness goals, whatever. It's because I love the process of becoming. I love the process of growth. I feel like goals sometimes we slip into, I'm not good enough until I achieve blank.
I think that is unhealthy in general. I think holding your happiness and pride in yourself and joy in your life until you achieve something is a really unhappy way to live life. This is all from my perception of goals. If you love your goals and it works for you, like I said, toss this episode.
In my mind, I'm thinking of people who never felt like the traditional model worked for them that like setting smart goals always felt a little off or people who set goals. And then they feel bad about themselves like that's not the point of goals. And so I love the word intentions. The other thing that I think of when I think of intention is co-creation. When I think of goal, I think of like I'm gonna make it happen. I'm going to overcome. I'm going to do all the work. I'm going to take massive action. I'm going to make this happen. And when I think of intention, I think of co-creation. And that has been really useful to me, right? So I focus on my business and I let go of everyone else's business and God's business.
And I trust that my efforts will be compounded with my faith that things are working out for me. That there's people that I've been prepared to work with, and that they've been prepared to work with me, and I can trust their yes. And all I need to do is what I can do, right? Making the invitations, creating content, putting myself out there, acting on inspired ideas, reaching out to people when I feel to, responding to messages, being me.
But when I think of co-creation, I don't think of me making it happen, where it's like all on my shoulders. I think a lot of my success and the reason that I can have it all, right? Where I have lots of success in lots of different areas of my life happening at the same time is because I don't try to do it all alone.
To me, my intentions are my desires are the things that I want, but I've never said, and I have to do it all by myself. I think in traditional success models of the world, it's like, you are the one. And so I like co-creation because it's like, yes, you have a role to play, your thoughts, your words, and your actions.
But what Gabby Bernstein says, like the universe has your back. God has created different universal laws and I teach them, but like law of detachment, law of cause and effect, law of attraction. So many different things to support you in getting what you want that you don't have to do it all alone.
And that awareness has changed everything for me. So it's like, I have an intention, I do what I know to do, and then I can release my grip. I don't have to struggle. I don't have to force. I don't have to be consumed with making anything happen. I can trust that it is happening, that I have a role to play.
I'm at cause. But there's so many other things supporting me in getting what I want. I can release the pressure. I can release the need to know when or exactly how I can live my life and I don't have to work all the time. I can trust that people are being prepared, people are finding me because they're inspired and I'm acting with inspiration that we will find each other.
And like I said, the word co-creation is what really resonates. Co-creation between me and my clients and audience and community, co-creation between me and God, co-creation between my friends who share my podcast or my clients who refer me. Like there's so many different things that I allow myself to be supported with, so it is not just all me.
That feels like a big breath of fresh air to people who are leaving the traditional model of success and trying to do it more consciously or more spiritually, cause I think trying to make something happen is exhausting and there's so much room for judgment. I feel like when people have goals, like specific hardcore goals.
This is not an episode about releasing what you want. I still want you to have desires and intentions, but I think the word goals for a lot of people makes people like tighten their grip, and they focus so hard on making it happen, and it's like God's gonna keep giving you your agency.
You know what I mean? He's like, oh, you want to do it yourself? Okay, you got this. Good luck! I wouldn't take that away from you if that's what you really want, but I think there's a whole different way of attracting things to you, creating synchronicities based on co-creation, where you only focus on what you can do and then you trust that God is doing the rest.
And like that includes other people, that there is only so much that you can do and at a certain point you have to let go and have faith. And that is surrender, right? Doesnā€™t mean you let go of the intention, it means you let go of trying to make it happen yourself. That has been very useful to me.
And so that's what I wanted to share with you about intentions versus goals. If the traditional model of goals hasn't resonated for you, I hope that you take something away from this episode where it's like intentions are possibilities. Intentions are preferences. Intentions are inspired. But it allows you to have peace of mind no matter what, right?
Even if it doesn't work out this month. I think also, for me, intentions are not time bound. So if all things are possible, what would I love? It doesn't mean what would I love by the end of this month? It's like, what would I love in my lifetime? And so one of the things that I was sharing with my client is my intentions go way beyond just today or even this year.
So as an example, like a goal, a traditional goal, like back in the day, my goal was to make a 100k. Right now I don't really have a revenue goal for the year. I am being the seven figure earner that I want to be so that I can experience that one day, but I'm very detached from when or how or the exact math of how to make that happen.
And like I said, this episode I know is not for everyone, but I wanted to share and give you insight into how I actually think and how I actually create because it is not this mathematic, formulaic way of doing business. It is very inspired. It is very hashtag backwards. It is very conscious.
But I will say I love my life on the good days. I love even when it doesn't look like everything's working. I have faith that it is working in ways that I can see and the ways that I can't see. I have faith in other people. I have faith that people are being prepared to work with me. And when the timing is right, that will happen.
And then I go back to focusing on what I can control, which are my thoughts, my words, and my inspired actions, which has kind of been the theme of what we've been talking about recently. So I hope this is helpful. I do encourage you to set powerful intentions. Powerful, specific intentions. But if it's not useful to have an end date, you can release it and still be successful.
If it's not useful to have smart goals, where they're measurable and specific and all these things, if it's not useful to you, let it go. It might be useful to other people. This is the thing that I'll end with: Smart goals might be useful to other people. This is not a better way. This is just a different way of thinking about how to create what you want.
And so I wanted to offer it. I hope it's helpful and useful to you and I will see you in another episode. Bye.
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