274. Energetic Containers - A Conversation About The Coaching Hierarchy and Transcending to Interdependent Relationships
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[00:00:00]
Introduction & Soccer Story
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Hey, you guys. Welcome back to the podcast. I'm really excited actually, because today what's on my mind is energetic containers, which I know that can be like, "Energetic containers," ~like~ what does that even mean, ~you know? ~But I'm actually gonna tell you a story. I told it on my Instagram stories today about my soccer games last night and how this is gonna apply.
We're gonna talk about coaching and relationships, and honestly, this has probably been a long time coming. It's something that I have a lot of conversations with behind the scenes with clients, but I think it'd be good to talk about it publicly. Just how I feel about like relationship dynamics in our industry, like hierarchy and pedestals, and almost like coach worship, which we're gonna talk a bit about, versus like strong, incredible, transformational containers.
And I, like I said, I don't love the word container, I just can't think of a better word for what we're gonna [00:01:00] talk about today. So that's what's in store for today, so buckle up. We're diving right in today. ~So~ last night, I'm in an indoor soccer league, which I've been loving so much. It's only my second week, and I'm playing with my little sister, which is so fun.
~So~ me and my little sister are actually nine years apart. ~And so~ we both are very athletic. We both grew up playing sports, but we've never played sports together, and ~so ~it's been so fun to be on the same team and have that experience together. Anyway, so fun. So we're in this indoor league, and everyone on our team except for me and Autumn, who we obviously know each other, we're sisters, but we don't know anyone else.
And our team is kind of the house team, so we just ~kind of~ got thrown together to get into the league, different people that we are literally meeting for the first time,~ like,~ every week, figuring out how to play soccer together. But one of the interesting things that happened last night is we didn't have enough people, so our first game, we had a double header, so we had two games in a row.
Our first game, we, ~like,~ didn't have subs, so we were pretty tired, running around trying to figure things out. We [00:02:00] lost. We lost pretty bad. I think it was, like, 13 to 8 or something like that. ~It was rough. It was rough.~ We were really tired. We didn't have any subs. ~It was l- it~ was intense.
But then the second game, the people who run the facility, ~kind of ~gave us these ~three subs, actually~ four subs, and they all knew each other. And I promise there's a point to this story. But they all knew each other, and so they would, communicate, they would talk. They would, kind of chirp back and forth.
That's what you do when you play sports, you're communicating all the time. And this one girl,~ I...~ We were sitting out together, and she was yelling at one of her friends on the field, giving her feedback, ~giving her,~ like, "Cut middle. Find the, ~you know,~ send it to the corner. Switch field." ~Right?~ "Cut through."
She was giving her verbal instructions, ~kind of~ yelling at her. And I kind of jokingly but not jokingly was like, "I love that you're yelling at her," ~you know? ~And she was like, "Oh, yeah, sorry. ~Like, I get... I..."~ She ~says,~ "One of the few people that, ~like,~ actually like it when I yell at her." And I was like, "Actually, I'm like that, too.
I like being yelled at. I like being coached." And she's like, "Really? ~Like, on... Really?" ~She's like, "Really, not a lot of people are." And I was like, "Nope, I actually love it, so if you wanna yell at me, go ahead. ~Like,~ I [00:03:00] like it." And she's like, "Okay, I will." And, She did. She started, giving me feedback, and she started saying, ~like,~ _"Cut _middle, send it to the left," or, right, ~like,~ whatever.
"Step up." ~Like,~ she would give me feedback, and I would do it. And throughout the game, ~like,~ I'm listening for her voice, ~right?~ And then at the end of the game, it was tied six to six, and she said, "Cut middle." She yelled at me, pointing, ~and she pointed me, "Cut~ middle." And they kicked it off the wall, and it bounced back to me, and I kicked it in for the goal within, ~like,~ a minute left of the game, and we ended up winning.
And I'm not saying that to be ~like,~ "Look at me, I scored the goal," ~you know.~ Although, I think it is cool that it happened that way. But I can't stop thinking about the whole conversation that happened before that. That,~ like,~ I wanted her to coach me. I wanted her feedback. I wanted her perspective because she was really good, and she could see the field really good.
And I keep thinking about this, ~right? ~Like I said, I got on my Instagram stories and, ~like,~ told this whole story because that was an energetic container of coaching. I asked to be coached, and then I submitted, and I don't mean that in a bad way. [00:04:00] I submitted to the process and received her coaching, and then we won, ~right?~
And I think There's so much complexity and shadow side of energetic containers online right now, and
What Are Energetic Containers?
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I wanna talk about that, but I wanna talk about the amazing part of this because some of you need to understand from love how to be coached and why we want to be coached. It doesn't mean that you're weak, right?
The other thing that I'll add is it's not like I was waiting for her to tell me what to do. I am a pretty sovereign individual. I was playing my game. I actually ended up scoring five goals last night, so two in the first game, three in the second game. I was creating opportunities for myself and for other people.
I was hustling my booty off, ~right? Like,~ I was running, I was playing defense, I was passing. It's not like I waited for instruction, but when she gave it, I was receptive. And I'm this way in my coaching relationship with my business coach, pretty much any coach in my life, ~right? ~When I hear feedback from someone that I trust and someone that I have energetically [00:05:00] aligned with to be my coach or mentor, I am very coachable.
I opt in for energetic containers where I am the client, ~right?~ Likewise, I also create energetic containers for people to opt in for me to be their coach. And I'll say this, the people who win keep their discernment, but they are coachable. Once they've found someone that they trust, that is, has results, ~right,~ they opt in to being coachable, and that's where the magic is made, is in opting in with discernment and being coachable.
So like that, that's like the powerful combo of an energetic container. We are both sovereign individuals coming together in this experience, which is the container, where I'm the coach and you're the client, or vice versa, where I'm the client and you're the coach. And the dynamic of being coachable with my discernment has allowed me to literally like quantum leap results in my life, in my marriage, in my finances, in my business, in how I coach my clients, in my [00:06:00] skillset of my craft,~ right?~
In how I market, in how I parent, ~like~ literally ~like~ every domain. Because I keep my discernment, but I am coachable, and ~like~ this combination, it builds the energetic container of what I think creates room for you to grow. And so this is where I wanna~ kind of~ talk about some of the weird dynamics that I see online.
Discernment & Being Coachable
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This doesn't mean giving up your sovereignty or your discernment. It doesn't mean that you just submit blindly to people who tell you what to do, and I think there's a lot of ways this can show up.~ I mean,~ the first one that I think of is content, ~right? Like,~ when you scroll, are you just like, "Yeah, whatever they say, they know better"?
It's like, no, that's not what we're talking about, ~right? ~It means trying on content, like, does this work? Is this useful? Here's some questions for you to really think through. Is this useful for me in my current season of life based on what my desires and dreams and goals are, or is this not,~ right? So I'll give you~
I've talked about this example before, but~ like~ me going to this event in Las Vegas [00:07:00] where everyone there was basically trying to build up their business so they could sell it, great information, literally ~like~ life-changing information. But my discernment was ~like,~ this isn't really for me. I'm trying to build something different.
So even if content and gurus and teachers and podcasts are helpful and true and right, that doesn't mean that they're useful to you. And so I feel like that's a foundational piece of information for you to try on when you're looking for coaches and mentors and containers to support you in getting what you want.
is it relevant? Is it useful to what you say you want? Even if it's good information, it can still not be relevant to you, and I've had to learn that the hard way. I have read hundreds and thousands of books. I actually should look it up at some point, and not all of them have been useful.
I have joined dozens of coaching programs, masterminds, courses, one-on-one containers. You name it, I've done it, and not all of them are good. Not all [00:08:00] of them I talk about on my podcast Not all of them I recommend because I kept my discernment and was like, "This isn't for me anymore," and so I don't recommend it,~ right?~
So through my trial and error, which part of this is my human design, so some of you are gonna really relate, some of you might not. But experimentation, ~I still... ~Even if you don't have, ~like,~ a three in your profile or whatever, ~like,~ I still think experimentation is part of business because business is co-creation, ~right?~
So you have to get data, you have to receive feedback from your community and your clients to make your product, your services, your offers more aligned with what's useful to them. That's part of the process, ~right?~ But in your own journey with your coaches in the energetic containers that you join, keeping your discernment is key.
Is this useful to me? Is this relevant to me? Does this resonate with me? ~Like,~ those questions have to be at the heart of everything that you're consuming, or you will be washed away literally by,~ like, ~an onslaught and an avalanche of information, and opinion, [00:09:00] and strategies that aren't relevant to you.
Think about how much information you have access to at the tip of your fingers every day, ~right?~ You log into Instagram, information. You get into your AI tool, information. You pick up a book, information. You go online, you read Substack, you read articles, you listen to podcasts. ~Like, ~there is so much information.
Discernment is the name of the game How do you find discernment? You have to unplug. You have to ask yourself good questions. The other thing that I'll say is you have to get people that are trustworthy to ask you good questions too,~ right?~ You have to know yourself. You have to know what you want.
Sometimes we don't know that until we know what we don't want, and that's okay. Contrast creates clarity, ~right? Gotta trust the process on that. ~But energetic containers are such an interesting word choice because there is a container. That's actually one of the pros of having a coaching program or a coaching package.
It's contained. Containment gives us safety. So one of my favorite metaphors [00:10:00] actually is ~like~ a river,~ right?~ A river ~is... It~ flows and it bends, and it flows and bends, and flows and bends, and it's nonlinear, ~right?~ Doesn't flow in a straight line. But there are riverbanks that support it. The riverbanks are like the energetic container.
~So my f- ~this is my personal preference, ~right?~ My favorite energetic containers are ones that,~ like,~ have clear riverbanks, but we can flow ~where it need,~ where we need to go within the container, ~right? So actually,~ all my programs are now set up this way. You might notice this, ~right?~ House of Abundance has two calls a month, sometimes more.
One wealth consciousness training and one business training. I get to flow and bend and create and respond, but there's this container that holds me and the group, ~right?~ We kinda know what the focus is every month. Two calls, wealth consciousness call, business call. And then we have the Kajabi community that kind of holds us all together.
Miracle Mind, it's like we meet twice a month. We know that everyone's gonna be talking and giving, sharing what's going on with them, and then we mastermind in the group. In my 101, we [00:11:00] have set 101 calls in Voxer to support the work. There's, the riverbank holds the flow. Now, what we talk about and where we need to go can bend and ebb and flow and be made up as we go, but there is a support container built in.
That's the more masculine, structure. But I also think the energetic container is held by the emotions, the trust, the relationship, the belief. ~Like,~ all the stuff that, ~like,~ can't be put on paper necessarily is important, too, ~right?~ Someone that's thinking about you, someone that's believing in you, someone that is holding you accountable, someone that's asking about things, someone that's observing you, witnessing you, being there for you.
That's an energetic container And not all of them are created equal. I joined a pretty expensive program with a coach a few years ago, and there was no witnessing, so it was only teaching. So like I could log on to Zoom and listen to her teach [00:12:00] or listen to the recordings or watch the course material, but she couldn't witness me.
And that's not bad. That's still an energetic container that I opted into, and I still got a lot out of it, mostly knowing what I don't want. But there was no witnessing, and so one of the things that I've learned for myself is that I need energetic containers where I can be witnessed. my guess is many of you are the same.
The value of being witnessed and observed and communicated with, where it's like a two-way relationship, I feel like does the wonders for me personally as a client. I need to be able to be witnessed in my negative emotions, my positive emotions, my wins, my losses, things I'm struggling with, things that I'm working through, things that I've done well.
I need someone to be able to see that and reflect that back to me. Most of my clients are the same. One of the reasons that many of my clients do one-on-one is because they've tried other things and it hasn't been a great fit, in group [00:13:00] work, I try to implement as much as possible witness work because I want to be able to know my clients so that they can be seen and felt and held in the container, not just holding themselves, which is important,
this is co-creation. It's ~kind of~ like that group program I was telling you about that I joined that ~like~ had no witness work. I could hold myself in the container. It just wasn't my favorite. I can hold myself in everything, ~right? Like that's...~ I can do it myself. That's not the hard part of my life,~ right?~
~For most of my cl- and ~most of my clients are the same. I can do it myself, thank you very much. I don't want to. I can do it myself, but I want a higher perspective. I want someone who's further ahead of me on the way to ~like~ reflect back to me what they're seeing. I want to be held in a way that is supportive to my nervous system and my goals and my dreams and the things that I say I want.
I don't want to do it alone, ~right?~ And that's why we would opt into an energetic container. I hold an energetic container for myself. ~That looks like recording.~ No one told me to record this podcast. No one tells me to [00:14:00] create content. No one tells me what books to read, ~right?~ I lead myself. And there's this frame that I really think about a lot, ~right?~
Where ~it...~ we go from ~dependency to independent, right? From independence or from, from... Sorry. There's ind-~ dependence, co-dependence, independence, and interdependence. And when I think about what I want most with my coaches and what I want most with my clients,~ right? ~Depending on who's playing what role, ~right?~
If I'm the client ~and I-~ the coach that I seek out, and if I'm the coach, the kind of clients I love working with operate at a level and a frequency of interdependence, which is how life actually works. I don't want my clients to be dependent on me, and I don't want to be dependent on my coach. I also don't wanna be codependent with my clients or codependent with my coach, which means, ~like,~ the need to be needed, ~right?~
I also don't want to be independent. This was my history of being coached early on. So like the first two to three years of my business, I was pretty independent. Independence is not bad to a certain point [00:15:00] But what that would look like was like I didn't need much. I didn't take up space in my coaching containers.
I didn't ask questions. I wanted to be like a student that got an A on the paper, and this is the problem with that. So what that would look like is like I would only message my coach if I had a celebration, or I would only share what was going well, but I hid the parts of my struggles, or my business, or my...
mentality, ~right,~ that were not good, because I wanted to be independent. I wanted to like do the work and then tell her what I did. That's not useful, at least ~from-~ in my experience now, knowing that there's another way to do it. Independence is like, "I got this and I'll tell you about it."
Interdependence is like, "Hey, I got this, but I would love your perspective." "I got this, and what are you seeing?" "I got this, and what's your experience with this, or do you have another idea for me?" Here's another story example. For my birthday in May, I was gonna do this bonus, for people who join ~like~ House [00:16:00] of Abundance or Miracle Mind, and the bonus was originally gonna be ~like~ a journal and maybe ~like~ a 30-minute call with me.
~Like,~ "Hey, if you sign up this week, like you get a 30-minute call with me and I'm gonna send you my favorite journal." And I Voxered my coach and was telling her my plan, 'cause interdependence, I can do this by myself. I was gonna do it. It probably would've worked. I probably still would've sold spots in my programs and stuff just for fun for my birthday.
And she came back and ~was like-- she's ~like, "What if we make it epic?" ~Like,~ "What if we make it really sexy?" And then she was like, "I don't know, maybe a dinner at your house or ~like~ in your local area." And we went back and forth, and I ultimately decided to upgrade the bonus and make it a quantum creation dinner at my house, and I ended up making...
I think I made ~like~ $10,000 that week. Maybe more, $12,000 that week, cash, extra, just because I decided to do the bonus that she offered, ~right?~ That's such a good example of interdependence. I didn't wait. I was planning things in advance. I had this whole game plan. I knew it would work. I do the marketing [00:17:00] regularly, like I have relationships with clients.
But her idea was from a higher perspective than mine because she's been in business longer and she's done more in her business, and so she could see what I could try, ~right? ~And then I implemented it. ~And so also,~ that's part of the energetic container too,~ is like~ you gotta implement the coaching. And so when I think about this, I'm a really good client, but I'm also a really good coach.
And so one of the things that I think about is interdependent relationships means that there's no hierarchy. It doesn't mean that my coach is better. It doesn't mean that I'm better than my clients. It means this relationship that we both opt into to create something higher, ~like~ of higher quality or a higher plane, ~right?~
Something more desirable for us. And so
Coaching Hierarchy vs. Interdependence
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sometimes when I look online, I see a lot of hierarchy, and that's not bad. It's not what I prefer, but I'm not judging hierarchy. I'm just saying it doesn't usually create what we want it to create,~ right?~ The coach on the [00:18:00] pedestal, the untouchable coach that is so far away from us that we feel separate from them.
Anything that leads to separation is something that I, ~like, kind of~ raise an eyebrow at. ~Like, ~"What? I don't know about that." Anything that... where I feel separate from someone. ~Um,~ I read a book called The Way of Mastery, and I'm a student of the Course in Miracles, if you're familiar, and one of the things that's, ~like,~ ingrained in both of those books is, ~like, ~there is no separation.
We are one. ~And so the... I mean, ~I know that's a spiritual principle, but I think that's playing out in the industry right now. ~Like, ~we're literally seeing systems break. Models that used to work. The hierarchy model used to work,~ right? ~It was ~like,~ "Here I am. I'm this amazing coach. Look at me. ~Here,~ let me impart my wisdom to you without you knowing me and without me knowing you because I'm amazing."
And I say that kind of mockingly, and I don't mean to, ~like,~ judge them or make fun of them, but, ~like,~ that was kind of the model. At least when I started my business, that was definitely the model, ~right? ~There was a coach with a big program. They had made millions of dollars, and we were supposed to come to them and learn because they were gonna [00:19:00] impart their wisdom, and there was this hierarchy, ~right?~
They were separate. In fact, ~one,~ one of the moments in time where I realized, ~like,~ I wanted to build something different, I was in a mastermind and the coach that I was in the mastermind with literally, was on a stage and she would teach for, ~like,~ an hour and then we would break, but she wouldn't mingle with the clients.
~She would leave. And that's... ~I'm not judging her. I get it. She wanted to protect her energy or whatever, or that was modeled to her, or that's what she thought she had to do. There's 1,000 reasons that it was happening. But I just remember being ~like,~ "I don't wanna be separate from my clients like that. I want to know my clients.
I don't want to feel like there's this hierarchy between us where I'm better than them. I want to feel like we're equals and we're creating together." Now, there's the energetics that support the client, and I wanna talk about that. What's the difference between hierarchy and me coming to support the client?
It's just energetics, ~right? ~It's relationship. It's trust. In a coaching relationship, the whole design is I'm here to support the client in getting what the client [00:20:00] wants. That doesn't mean I'm better than them. It means my role is to support them in getting what they want, but there's no hierarchy.
In the Gene Keys, there's this concept called synergy or synarchy, ~right?~ The role I play is helping them get what they want when I'm the coach,~ right?~ But we're still interdependent I'm not better. I'm not worse. They're not better. They're not worse. We're coming together to create something better than we could create alone, and that's the point of a coach, is you can create something better than you can create alone, not because the coach is higher on the pedestal, ~right,~ or on the totem pole or whatever.
Just because they have wisdom and perspective and skills that can support you. That's it, ~right?~ There's no hierarchy about that. And so when I think about this soccer story that I kicked this whole thing off with, she probably was better at soccer than me, but that's not why I trusted her.
It's not why I wanted her perspective. It's not why I said, "Hey,"~ like, "I want you to, um, ~I want you to give me feedback," ~right?~ [00:21:00] And I do that with lots of people, people that I choose to play that role in my life, ~right? Like,~ there's an opting in. There's a conscious choice to be coached, and to make that more conscious for all of us is important because then the...
You want to be coachable. You want to follow through. You want to implement what they're sharing, not blindly, not without your own discernment because, again, interdependence, ~right?~ But these energetic containers that you opt into are designed to support you, and if they're not supporting you, I hope you leave, or I hope you choose to say something, or I hope you find a place that you can, ~right?~
I had to sift and sort experiences until I landed in a really happy place in my experience with coaching, and I didn't make it wrong. It was ~like,~ "Okay, I got what I came for. Now I'm gonna go on to the next thing." Contrast creates clarity, so it's not judging the experiences that I had that weren't ideal.
It really is just, using the data to inform myself about what I really want and what's next, and then allowing the next [00:22:00] phase, the next iteration, the next container to support me in what I'm trying to create. And so when I think of energetic containers, we can go a number of different directions, but there's things like contracts, terms and conditions.
There's coaching packages. There's your pricing. Pricing is an energetic container, ~right? ~What's included in your offer, whether it's a Voxer or calls or support ~or whatever, right? ~Whatever you're offering, that's a part of an energetic container. And the question that I really ~w- just ~want you to contemplate is, is it supporting you or is it hurting you?
Is it helping you get closer to what you want, or is it detracting you from what you want? The next question that I want you to consider is, are you being coachable in the energetic containers that you have signed up for? Or are you resisting...~ Do you-- Like, ~one of the things that showed up for me was pride early on.
It was like, "I should know this, so I'm not gonna ask about it." ~And it's like~ I did myself such a disservice by thinking I already knew. Whenever I tell [00:23:00] myself I already know this, ~like,~ I know I'm not operating at my highest frequency. Why? Because my highest frequency is humble and loving and accepting and discerning, but also open, ~right?~
Even if I've heard it before, I always listen for,~ like,~ how can I hear it different? How can I use this? How can this ~be-~ benefit where I'm at now? What is in this for me? Even if it's something that I know, which is why even though I've heard the same things before,~ like,~ I actually told this to Amber, my coach, when I went to her retreat in March, which I think I talked about this in my reflections from that.
Wesley asked me, ~you know,~ "What do you think you're gonna learn at this retreat?" And I'm like, ~"I don't--~ I'm not going to learn something." And that doesn't mean that I'm too good to learn. I'm always learning. But I go for different reasons. I'm looking for wisdom, which, ~like,~ isn't ~like,~ "Let me impart this knowledge to you."
It's about being in the field, being humble enough to hear things in a way that I've never heard them before or see things in a way that I've never seen them before. That [00:24:00] doesn't necessarily come because, It's new information,~ right? And ~in fact, a lot of my clients get to this point where it's nothing new is gonna be taught at a certain point, ~right?~
At a certain point, you ~kind of~ know the big ideas. You ~kind of ~have read the books and you know the information. You've heard it before. That's not really the point,~ right?~ The reason that I still get coached and the reason that I'm still a student isn't because I'm trying to learn something. I'm looking for the deeper perspective.
I'm looking to be cracked open. I'm looking for the little shift. I'm looking for an upgrade. I'm looking for a moment in time where something shifts inside of me, where my perspective expands, where my heart opens, ~right?~ Where I have more compassion, more ability to see people, more understanding, more wisdom, ~right?~
It's not informational anymore. And so I think there's a lot of value in staying in coaching relationships with people who can do that for you, not because of knowledge, not because of hierarchy, not because you're less than them, but because of what they can open up inside of you if it's the right [00:25:00] energetic container for you.
And so if there's anything that I hope you walk away with is finding energetic containers that support you and support your clients, ~right?~ And that could also include your kids, your spouses and partners, ~right?~ Your parents, your friendships, ~right?~ Energetic containers are everywhere. It's just knowing what they are, making them conscious, and by design instead of by default,~ right?~
And so knowing how to get what you came for, I think is a skill. ~Like,~ I know how to get what I came for, even if it's not my ideal situation. ~Like,~ all the masterminds and coaching programs that I've been in that,~ like,~ I wouldn't necessarily recommend or do again, I still knew how to get what I came for, and I didn't make them wrong, and I didn't throw a fit, and I didn't ask for a refund, ~right?~
I just learned to get what I came for and then I would move on to the next thing. Because I still find value in energetic containers that can hold me and my dreams and my desires and the skills that I wanna develop and the person that I want to become and the results that I wanna create and the life experience that I want to [00:26:00] have.
All of that is an energetic container. And what's funny is ~like~ all of us already have energetic containers. It's just are you looking at them? Are you finding gratitude for them? Are you using them to the capacity that you want to by design? And I think that's the big key is,~ like,~ are you doing it consciously or are you doing it by default?
And so there's this thing that comes up about responsibility. Who's responsible for client results? And I think it's a fair question. I think in the dependency, codependency, independence, and then interdependence, ~right?~ When you're in a dependent relationship with your coach, the coach has all the power to create results, and so it looks like defaulting to their decisions.
It looks like following through and then getting mad when it doesn't work out, ~right? ~"I did what you said to do," and then you're like, "This doesn't work," ~right?~ That sounds like that's a dependent relationship. Or always asking them what to do without any of your own thought process or your own experimentation, ~right?~
Without your own self-responsibility. That's dependence. We don't want to be dependent on [00:27:00] coaches. But independence, isn't much better. Why do you have a coach if you're just gonna do it by yourself anyway, ~right? ~And so to me, the word that I want you to contemplate is interdependence.
Interdependence in Action
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When I think about interdependence, I think of an ecosystem.
I think of nature,~ right? I was actually, um, this~ last weekend, my husband's been traveling to New Mexico for work every week, so he travels there Monday through Thursday night, and then he comes home for the weekend, and so I've been solo parenting. And I was pretty burnt out last week. I had hit the wall of kids needing me and touching me and asking me for things and doing it all by my own, and not from a victim place, but I was like, "I need a break." ~Like,~ "I need space." And so I told Wesley, ~I was like,~ "Hey, on Saturday,"~ like,~ "I'm gonna go take some time for myself." And he's like, "That sounds great. Totally support it." ~And then, ~so I did that. I took myself to our local stream that I love.
I went up the mountain, and I was feeling a little angsty ~when I-- ~walking up the mountain, and I just,~ like,~ sat in the stream, and, ~like,~ I put my feet in the water. I actually wrote a Sub Stack all about this. ~Put my feet in the water.~ There's no service there, which I love, and I just, ~like,~ [00:28:00] witnessed, ~right?~
There was, ~like, ~butterflies dancing around. There was flies and wasps too. There was trees. The water was flowing. There was bushes. I could hear birds flying up high, ~right? ~There was a path that people take to go hiking. And it was just very beautiful. And everything in that little moment of time was interdependent with each other ~Right?~
The butterfly flying eats plants that grow by the river. The river and the rocks have an interdependent relationship, ~right?~ Because the rocks ~kind of~ carve down the path for the water to flow, ~and the water... ~Because the water flows, it carves the rocks, ~right? ~The trees grow because of the water,~ right?~ But also the stream is protected by the trees from horses or from people or from the elements,~ right?~
~Like, it just, like,~ all of it was interdependent with each other, and I think we are designed as humans to do that. It means that you can do it by yourself, but you choose to do it with other people. And what's funny is, ~like,~ even if you can do it by yourself you [00:29:00] actually can't. I can't have a business in a silo.
I have to have clients, ~right?~ Even that level of co-creation, ~right,~ that level of interdependence, I can't have a business without other people. I can't live my life's work if I don't have other people, ~right?~ There's a great, metaphor in The Gene Keys, and I've talked about it before. It's the well, and it's...
This is Gene Key 48. This is active in my profile, and so ~I've, ~I've studied it a lot. I've read this chapter, ~like,~ I don't even know, 30 times probably. And it talks about this well, ~right?~ That I can't go into the well for myself, like the well of wisdom. It has to be taken out ~f- ~in service to someone, ~right?~
~So, like,~ I can't just sit in my office and have this epiphany. I actually really don't have epiphanies for myself that often unless I'm in co-creation, in relationship,~ in, ~in interdependent relationship with life, with my kids, with my clients, with my business, with my husband, with my coach, with my friends, with my parents, ~right?~
And so I really think it's ~worth consider- ~truly worth considering how you are already in an interdependent relationship with [00:30:00] life, with your clients, with your community, with money, with commerce, with the United States of America, if you live here, ~right?~ Or whatever country you live in. With your town, with your coach, with your friends.
~Like, ~all the ways that it shows up, ~right? ~And so I think for me, an energetic container facilitates an interdependent relationship, and that's, the point that I wanna leave you with. The energetic containers that I love, that I feel supported by facilitate an interdependent relationship, and that's what I'm seeking out pretty much in every area of my life right now.
I want my kids to be interdependent with me, not independent. They'll go through an independent phase that looks like teenage years and young adulthood, I know that, where they're learning how to stand on their own two feet and they're learning to trust themselves. ~Like, ~that's an important phase of development.
I know that. When they're young, they were all dependent on me, ~right? Then in, ~in many ways, my kids are still dependent on me, but my job, at least this is how I see it, my job as a parent is to guide them in a process of becoming interdependent with me and with [00:31:00] life, ~right? ~Where they know how to do it by themselves, and they also know how to seek out relationships that support them in getting what they want, and where they are supporting other people in getting what they want.
It's not just a selfish thing. Interdependence goes both ways, ~right?~ And this is actually something that I think about in my own coaching experience. ~Like,~ I want my coach to become more abundant because I was in her world, ~right?~ I want my clients' lives to become more ~de- more~ abundant because I was in their world.
It doesn't go one way, ~right?~ I want my coach to thrive because I was in her world. I want my clients to thrive because I'm in their world.~ It-- like,~ that's how I see it. I want my friends to thrive because I'm in their world, and I want to thrive because I'm in their world, ~right?~ I want Wesley to thrive because I'm in his world, and I want to thrive because I'm in his world.
That's interdependence, and so it's like finding ways to create that with and for yourself and for other people, with other people, with yourself, ~right? ~Is ~the point-- to me,~ the point of having energetic containers.
Closing Reflections
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So some inventory for you, some questions for you to consider. Do you feel supported by [00:32:00] the energetic containers that you have opted into in your life and business?
Are you taking radical responsibility for how you're showing up, how you're asking for support, how coachable you are,~ right?~ Do you know how to get what you came for? Are you discerning so that the people that you are in relationship with in these containers is for the highest good, that it's relevant and resonant and useful to you?
And if it's not, making the decision to transform that for yourself. I think this is the way. So lots of food for thought for you. Thank you for listening to the podcast. Thank you for all the comments that I get,~ you know,~ via email or Instagram DMs or text messages. ~Like,~ I appreciate it. I really do. Thank you for being you.
Thank you for listening. Go explore all these concepts, and I'll see you in another episode. Bye. [00:33:00]
