Hey everyone, welcome back to the podcast. I thought it would be fun to kind of give you like a sneak peek behind the scenes of what I just did at Miracle Mind Retreat with all my Miracle Mind clients. I just got back from Las Vegas and it was so incredible to be with all these amazing women.
And one of the themes that I am going to be talking about for a while because it was just so potent for me is, like I mentioned on our last episode, like old frequency, new frequency, but what I want to bring today was this conversation about sacrifice and this exercise that I did with them that kind of broke the frame for a lot of people about how we see things and how we see ourselves.
And the invitation that we have to transcend old ways of being, even if they're okay, even if they're good for something greater, which is the conversation about sacrifice. And so I'm going to kind of walk you through something that I did with these amazing ladies. So I read a passage from one of my favorite books by Frederick Dodson called The Parallel Universes of Self. Quite the book.
And this quote is about the lighthouse, which if you know me, you know, I love the metaphor of the lighthouse. It's like prominent in my space, my office. But this was the first book I read that the lighthouse started to mean something to me. And it's not what you think. I mean, it is. It's about being a light to other people. But you'll see from this quote, it's a lot more than that. So he says, you resemble a lighthouse that is looking for light. Sound funny? Yes.
But that's what you resemble. The lighthouse casts its beam across the land and the sea, searching, looking. Its light beam falls upon various things and objects. It is looking for light, not noticing that it is the source of light itself. And then later on the page, he's talking about this girl that's looking for something. He says, as a lighthouse, what she has been looking for all these years is what she has been looking with. How interesting is that?
And then one day someone tells her and shows her, but she doesn't believe it quite yet because she can't see the light within herself. Why can't she see it? Because that is what she is seeing with. The only thing she can't see is who she really is, because she is seeing from the viewpoint of who she really is and apparently can't simultaneously look at something and look as something.
But then she goes deep within and looks at herself and she holds up mirrors and she reflects on herself and she begins to realize that what she was looking for was herself. And now that she has found it, her search has ended and something new has begun. She knows with which brilliance she shines and uses this to illuminate the world.
And so I shared that quote with the ladies at the Miracle Mind and then I had them do this exercise about seeing each other with that context of like, you are the lighthouse, but how you see is the gift. And they kind of shared what it was like to see each other, to be seen with this context of like, you are the lighthouse seeing.
And then after they did that exercise, you know, they partnered up, they shared what they saw, they shared what it was like to see, to that feeling of seeing another person, like we feel so powerful, we feel so good and that's who we really are. And also being seen and seeing people in their power. So they had this experience and we all got back together. And after they shared their thoughts, I asked them this question, which is like, it kind of like snaps us back.
What was that that you were seeing? Were you seeing the old frequency or the new frequency? Because I think their descriptions of these people are so beautiful and so amazing, you know, and so powerful and so loving. That's like how they saw them. And then what I shared was like, I want to pose to you that what you're seeing is actually the old frequency. I think sometimes when we hear the word old frequency, it's like we feel this repulsion or this desire to change it or that it's ugly or bad or wrong.
And like, that's not the conversation that I want to have with you today. Your old frequency is amazing and it got you here and it's beautiful and it's vibrant and it's strong service. I just think so many of the people who are drawn to my podcast have this fear of like being too much or fear of like self inflating. You know what I mean?
And so what's funny about this is like, if you see someone's for so powerful and we say that's the old frequency, then like, wow, what becomes possible at the new frequency? Because what I really want to talk to you about today is sacrifice. And I know that that word is like, because I think most of the time when you hear the word sacrifice, you think in terms of like, oh, I have to like struggle. I have to grind it out. It has to be hard.
And like, that's not what I want to offer today. So we're talking about sacrificing your old frequency for your new frequency, which is, I think I help people do as a coach. I think if I had to say it that way, if you're not in this work, that might seem really weird. So it's not like I'm going to put that on like my business card. Like I help people sacrifice their old frequency for their new frequency. Like, no, no, no. But between you and I here on this podcast, right? That's what I do.
I help people learn how to sacrifice their old frequency for their new frequency, not because their old frequency is wrong or bad. All the women at the retreat saw beautiful things in each other, powerful things, things that change lives. And yet we are invited by life through contrast, to constantly evolve and expand into our next version or next level, which means even if it's good, sometimes we have to sacrifice the old frequency for the new frequency.
And so I want to read you something that I wrote. And I read it to the miracle minds. Like, I really am like letting you get a peek behind the curtain of what we talked about. I said, love sacrifices, giving up the lower for the higher. Maybe we get sacrificed all wrong. We think in terms of struggle, overcoming has to be hard. Sacrifice is held up as a standard for sages and saints.
And we often think in terms of what had to be given up, what had to be struggled through, what we had to grind through. What if sacrifice isn't about what we lose and what we endure, but about getting something better. Mothers sacrifice their body for the gift of their child's life. Entrepreneur sacrifices old behaviors, identities, beliefs to create a business. The seed sacrifices the safety of containment for the possibility of becoming a tree.
The caterpillar sacrifices its form to take the life of a butterfly, to have the gift of flight. We sacrifice the old for the new. We sacrifice the known for the possibility of something greater that lies in the unknown. We sacrifice being right for being happy and at peace. We sacrifice old thoughts for new ones, but sacrifice doesn't mean painful or hard is required. It's an invitation to let go, to release, to transform, to transmute, to choose again.
There might be growing pains and discomfort or moments of shock or disappointment on the journey because contrast creates clarity. The story we tell about the contrast is everything. Our perception, our emotional reality, our point of attraction isn't determined by anyone or anything except us. The words we use, how we tend to our vibration, our frequency, the grace we extend to the human part of us along the way can drastically transform our experience of that contrast.
Contrast, an essential aspect of the transmutative nature of sacrifice, doesn't mean bad or that something has gone wrong. It's how this whole thing works. Contrast gives us new content and awareness for what we really want. We have the moment by moment opportunity to focus on what is wanted versus what is unwanted. When we talk in terms of sacrifice, that is the internal experience we calibrate to wanted or unwanted. Are we focusing on wanted or unwanted?
This is the game of attention. Like I read that lighthouse quote, you are the lighthouse shining the light of your attention, your focus, your consciousness on things. So the way that you see the contrast that comes up through sacrifice changes how you experience it. It's an invitation to learn how to live unconditionally. Being who you want to be, thinking what you want to think, believing what you want to believe, regardless of current circumstances. This is self mastery.
This is reality creation. We don't make sacrifices to earn what we want. We make sacrifices because we are constantly being invited by life to give up what was, to align with and create what can be, including ourselves. The lower for the higher, the old for the new. So that's what I read. That's what came through when I was in Vegas.
And I just want to have this conversation with you. And if you're listening to this and you're at the Miracle Mind to also like just invite you to keep contemplating that because I think it's gonna be really potent for everyone. This is what's tough. You know, I think there's a lot of language in the entrepreneur space about hustle and grind and sacrifice and what you have to give up.
But most of my clients, they're not in the hustle and grind frequency.
So I think sometimes sacrifice can feel like, oh, maybe it's supposed to be harder. It's like, no, no, that's not what I'm saying, right? I'm not saying it has to be harder. It's an invitation to look at where you need to sacrifice the old for the new. So I remember, it's funny because like about 10 years ago, I was living in Las Vegas. So it's kind of funny to return back to Las Vegas. And, you know, Wesley was going to school and working and we had baby Tegan.
You know, I was like a new mom. She was like three or four months old to make ends meet because we had no money to make ends meet. This is long before I started my business. A couple of years before I started my business. I would like wake up at two or three in the morning, a.m., you guys, two or three a.m. because I worked for this company called VIP Kid and I would teach English classes to kids in China.
I would do like one on one mentoring, basically teaching English. And I was so grateful that I found that job because like what it allowed me to do is like I wake up, I would work from like three to six. So for like three or four hours a morning and then Tegan would wake up and like I would nurse her and then we would get on with her day. And so I was tired. I would go to bed early and I didn't always feel amazing. But again, at the time, that was my level of sacrifice.
I was sacrificing my sleep. I was sacrificing a regular schedule for financial support. I was getting paid. And that's what I thought sacrifice meant at that level. It was like, yeah, like I have to work for it. You know, I have to earn it. I look back on that time. I'm just like a different human now.
Coming back to the retreat in Las Vegas was so interesting to kind of drive the roads and like remember that time of financial strain and think about the sacrifices that I made to get to where I am. And I started seeing as I increased my awareness and I did consciousness work, when I started to see myself differently, I realized what I sacrificed has changed. In the beginning, it was like I have to sacrifice my time for money. And like I think a lot of people are here.
I have to sacrifice my sleep. I have to sacrifice my comfort. Or then I think about like when I started my business, you know, and like I felt like the sacrifice I was making was putting in a lot of time learning how to build a website and how to market and how to make offers and how to fill groups, how to post on social media. You know, I had a sacrifice. I was sacrificing like a little bit of my ego, right?
Like looking silly online, kind of cringey, kind of cheesy, like getting on my stories and talking about life coaching concepts, you know, and like I sacrificed that to learn how to create clients. But how I talk about sacrifice now, which I think is probably most relevant to you listening to this, who have studied consciousness, who care about reality creation, who care about your vibration and your frequency, this is a very different way of talking about sacrifice.
We're giving up the older for the new, we're giving up the lower frequency for the higher frequency. And when I see clients do this, it doesn't mean that something's wrong, or that it has to be bad for you to want something different. A lot of my clients, their business and their life is working in 90% of ways, you know, like most of their life is going amazing.
And there's this one little area, right? It could be business, it could be their business model, it could be a relationship, it could be a financial reality that they want to create. But like so much of their life is good. And so when we talk about sacrifice, the biggest thing, like I wrote a book called Quiet Wealth that I didn't even think about this till just now.
The subtitle of that book is creating what you want without sacrificing what you have, because that was like the old model of sacrifice. But I actually think sacrifice is a higher universal law. The thing that I'm thinking about is the seed sacrifices the safety of containment for the possibility of becoming a tree. I mean, I wrote that in my journal, I don't know where that came from. But it came through in my journal session.
The seed sacrifices the safety of its containment for the possibility of becoming a tree. And I think so many of you are like the seed, there's a safety of your containment. I remember when I stopped working for VIP kid, because I worked for VIP kid for years. And then I found life coaching later. So after we left Las Vegas, I found life coaching. And I decided if I could just make $1,000 a month, which is so crazy, you know, I actually think it was $600 a month.
I think I was making $600 a month working for VIP kid. And I was like, if I can just make $600 a month, as a life coach, I'll quit VIP kid. And I remember getting to $600 a month and being like, so I had like three clients paying me $200 a month. That was like where I was at. And I was like, Oh my gosh, like I did it, I'm going to quit VIP kid and like, all the sacrifice was worth it.
But then I think of how I see it now there's like a principle of sacrifice that's not the hustle and grind, especially like, for you who listen to this that are like me, that care about the lifestyle that you don't want to necessarily work 40, 50, 60, 80 hours a week, you know, you want to be there for your kids or free time where you have a job, you know, somebody listening to us like have a nine to five that maybe you want to keep maybe you don't.
But like, the constraint of business growth is like, I don't want to put so much time into it. I hear that I'm like that. But the law of sacrifice is still an interesting thing to contemplate of what beliefs Are you willing to give up? What beliefs Are you willing to sacrifice? Are you willing to sacrifice the belief that it has to be hard, that money is scarce, that you have to work really hard to make money? Are you willing to give that belief up and choose a different belief?
You have to sacrifice the belief that no one cares about what you do. You have to sacrifice that belief and adopt the new belief, which is like people love what I do. It's hard to make money, you're going to sacrifice it to it's easy to make money. There's like a lot of struggle required to ease and effortlessness is the way old to new.
And so I walk my clients through these processes in many different levels, you know, what, in the beginning, making $1,000 a month was life changing for me. And then I had to sacrifice that thought, so that I could create $5,000 a month, and then $10,000 a month, and then $20,000 a month, and then $30,000 a month, continue, continue, continue.
As I've grown my business, I have had to sacrifice the beliefs about myself, about money, about how the universe really works. For the sake of the new thing, the seed has to give up the safety of its containment to have the possibility of becoming a tree. And this is what is so fun is like you are the seed right now. Even if things are good, think about how great they can be.
And so this is where I think for a lot of people that quote, I don't remember who said it, but it's like good is the enemy to great. Because your old frequency is probably pretty good. It kept you safe, made amazing things happen, whether you started a family, or you have the career, or you have the house, you have the car, like things are good. And I, here comes a coach saying like, are you willing to give up the old frequency for the new frequency?
And we immediately go to like, well, I don't want to give up what I have. And it's like, well, you don't have to give up what you have, but you have to give up some of your beliefs about yourself, about money, about business, about other people. Until we really look at that, I think we get sacrifice wrong. I see this as like two ways, like repressed nature of this, they don't take enough action, right? Because they don't want to sacrifice, they don't want it to be hard.
So they don't actually don't take enough action. And sometimes I help clients with that. Action is still required, but like the action doesn't have to feel like effort. The action can feel fun, joyful, all of that, right? At the new frequency, once they've made the leap. The reactive nature of that is overworking, overstruggling. They get it in their mind that struggle will make the business work. And then when it doesn't, it's like, wait, struggle actually doesn't make the business work.
There's something different happening. And so either way, wherever clients find themselves, this is the work of what are you willing to sacrifice? And I don't mean in terms of your effort. Most of the time, I mean it in terms of who you're being in the world, your identity, your beliefs about yourself, the behaviors you have with money, the behaviors you have with social media, with selling. I have a behavior of I sell frequently and powerfully.
And it's more like an invitation, but like I do it. I have beliefs about money where it's easy to make money that people like paying me that I trust that the money always comes. But I had to give up my old thoughts. And so I think this is such a useful way of thinking about sacrifice. We're not talking about hustling, grinding, making it hard. It's like, oh, I'm willing to give that idea up. I'm willing to give up the safety of containment.
Even if I've thought this way my whole life, even if I've thought that you have to work hard my whole life, I'm willing to give that up so that my business can feel effortless. Even if my parents gave me money, you know, money thoughts about it doesn't grow on trees or like I have to be really fearful about money because that makes you responsible. I have to always say that there's not enough because that makes you responsible.
I have to worry about money because that makes me responsible. And I give that up to move into the newer frequency of like money's there to support me. Money's always flowing. I can trust money. Money's like a friend to me. Money's an infinite resource. Money always comes when I call. Money's always coming before I call. But that's like a different frequency. That's a different way of being.
And so my question to you is, are you ready to give up the old frequency for the sake of the new frequency? Are you willing to sacrifice that? And sometimes it's uncomfortable because we feel connected. We feel comfortable at the old beliefs because it's familiar. You know what I mean? Like it's the caterpillar. I saw a caterpillar walk today. The caterpillar has been a caterpillar its whole existence. It feels confronting to give up thoughts that feel safe. It gives a safety like.
I have to be careful with money. Okay let's use the word money can run out. I used to believe that that was a really helpful belief and that is a belief. Do you hear me? That is a belief. Money can run out. But what if you have the belief that money couldn't run out? That you are always making money in new ways, in old ways, in recurring revenue, in new money, in income, in investments, in gifts.
Truly try that on because like this is what I actually believe about money. Like money cannot run out. But I did not always believe that. I grew up thinking money could run out because that is the dominant belief about money. Well when I think that that money can run out, I feel fear. I know that immediately tells me that's an old frequency for me because I don't like doing anything in fear at the level of fear. And so many of you have that thought and it probably feels true right?
Like the money can run out. So I have to be wise with my money. I have to take care of it. I have to worry about it. That's responsible to like check my bank account and worry. And I'm just going to offer like that's not the only way to do money. But you have to sacrifice the old thought. The thought that has made you feel safe. For most of us worrying about money actually makes us feel safe because we're like checking the account and we're like worrying about it.
So we're budgeting and we're worrying about it. So we're looking and it feels like we're creating safety. But that's the seed. The tree that you want to become with money is like money never runs out because you're always making it. It's always flowing to you in different ways. So that's one example. There's many.
And so I think the invitation that I just want to kind of hit the ball to you on your side of the court is what sacrifices need to be made not in terms of effort and action but in terms of frequency. Are you willing to give up the old to embrace the new? Are you willing to have an ego death about who you think you are and what you think is possible for you? Are you willing to be wrong about yourself to embrace what is really possible for you?
Are you willing to challenge old identities and beliefs and sacrifice them to try on something new? I'll give you another example. It's not related to money. I grew up really thinking I was shy. If you ask anyone in my childhood I was painfully shy. I used to cry if I had to go up and like order food from the counter in my church.
I had to call the girls in my church group to invite them to activities and I used to like rehearse it because I was so nervous to talk on the phone and like if their mom answered or if their dad answered like I was so nervous I would just like hang up. I was so painfully shy and that was the story until 14.
And then we moved to a new city in California and I remember thinking like I don't have to tell the story of me being shy anymore and I gave up the identity of being shy for the identity of being a good friend and for the identity of being a good listener and a good talker, right? I'm social. I have friends. I'm not shy. I'm kind. I'm outgoing.
I gave up the old identity for the new identity even though I am shy just felt true about me. It's like sometimes I hear women especially who maybe they haven't had a career that's common in my world where like they were a stay-at-home mom for a long time and now they have a business that doesn't always apply or maybe they've been in a career. I coach women who have been in a career and now they're being an entrepreneur.
So the beliefs that you've had for decades some of you it's been decades is no longer useful about who you want to be and so you have to sacrifice the old thoughts about yourself about what you're capable of about how the world works and it might feel crazy at first because it's new because maybe very few people believe it. Like I know that I share the belief.
I don't believe money can run out and I know that's a rare belief about money but the way that money works in my life is rare. I feel very supported by money. We always have enough to do what we want. When I need it to come it comes like for real and I want that for everyone but I've had to sacrifice so many beliefs about money about myself along the way and that's why I keep getting coached because I want coaches who can help me sacrifice my old identity my old thoughts in favor of in exchange for the reality that I want.
And so that's my spicy coaching for you today like what are you willing to give up to create what is next and I think sometimes we get really caught up in what is and we lose sight of what can be and so our lives stagnate or our business stagnates because we stopped allowing the next frequency to come through. I believe in growth and evolution over a lifetime so I'm constantly going to be upgrading my identity and my beliefs.
It's a commitment for the rest of my life. Not everyone lives their life that way but if you're listening to this episode my feeling is that something in you wants that too. Take this as your direct invitation from me like what are you willing to give up to create the next version of you and the next reality that you can sense is there. The vision came to you because you are the one meant to steward it and many of you like that means that you're the visionary for your family.
You get the sense of what's coming and it means you're going to give something up but that doesn't mean you have to grind or it has to be hard. Confronting? Yes. Challenging? Yes. Ego death? Yes. But it's like an emotional thing it is not like a physical thing it doesn't have to be physically difficult and that's honestly where I see most of my clients right now. It's not like a physical difficulty.
It's an emotional and mental difficulty which is why we're working together because that's what coaching is for is to confront the work so that you can create the reality only you can create that you can see the reality that you are deserving of the reality that you want the reality that's meant to be yours. And so contrast I read that from my journal contrast gives meaning to this whole process. Contrast makes us clearer about what we want so I'll make this real real.
If you are going through a season in business where you're not signing clients that contrast should allow you to realize what you really want is a full client roster. What beliefs are you willing to give up about signing clients so that you can have a full client roster? Are you willing to give up the belief that it's hard to sign clients or that takes a lot of time or that just no one buys coaching?
Are you willing to give up those beliefs and exchange them for clients are always finding me my best clients reach out to me clients love working with me clients want to pay me like are you willing to make that sacrifice? And what's funny is like most of you are like yeah I've made that sacrifice. No you haven't because this is a practice a devotion. I do thought work like this all the time where I'm constantly reaching for a better feeling thought.
I'm constantly choosing to improve how I feel and expand what I believe. It is not something I do passively because I create my reality. I am the cause of my business. So if you are just feel like you're reporting what is happening, just know. You are not reporting, you are creating. So when you say it's hard to sign clients, what you're really doing is creating that.
It's hard to sign clients. I created an episode a long time back, called Speaking Your Desires into Reality or something, speaking what you want into existence, I think is what it's called. We're kind of revisiting that concept right now. But you have to be willing to give up the old way that you talked about business, the old way that you talked about your husband, the old way that you talked about money.
You have to give it up. And choose something new and exchange the old frequency for the new frequency, the old belief for the new belief, and then commit to it. This is what coaching is. This is what I do with clients. And so you're invited to sacrifice, not your sleep, not your body, not your time with your kids, not your financial wellbeing, but you are invited to sacrifice what is old for what is new, what is lower for what is higher.
Okay. And if I can help you, I would love to, you can book a breakthrough call at any time and we can talk about it. You can find that link in the show notes because honestly, this is what coaching is about. To me, it's not just what to do. It's so much bigger than business strategy. I mean, yes, we can talk about strategy. I help my clients with strategy sometimes, but if you were able to interview any of my private clients, they would say this is the work.
Sacrificing the old frequency for the new frequency is what I do in coaching. So if you wanna explore that, book a breakthrough call with me. I hope this was helpful. I hope you feel inspired to sacrifice old thoughts, some old behaviors, some old patterns, some old ways of thoughts, some old ways of being so that you can live unconditionally.
That's the other thing that I'll add right here at the end. Most of the time when we move into a higher frequency, what we're really talking about is living unconditionally. It means you're gonna believe what you want to believe, think what you want to think, create what you wanna create regardless of circumstances.
It means you believe what you want to believe before you have circumstances that can validate that, and that's where people are like, it feels a little delusional. It's like it's only delusional because you're at the beginning. until it starts creating what you want. And then you realize, I am cause of my business. And it's like, yeah, you always were. You always were. And so that's my invitation to you. Become the cause of your business. Stop seeing it as an effect.
Start seeing it as you are the cause your business is reflecting you and your thoughts and your behaviors and your identity, how you see yourself, how you talk about things. And it's time to transform like the butterfly. You know it came from the goo of the caterpillar, You have to give it up. So that's what I'm inviting you to do. Thank you for being a part of my community. I hope this is helpful. Talk soon.
