Hey, hey, hey, welcome back to the podcast. I am excited to be with you guys today. I actually got back yesterday from a trip I went on with Wesley. We went to Miami for a few days without children, which was lovely. And we're settling back into normal life and I'm coaching and creating today. We had so much fun. So kind of some fun facts.
I actually posted this on Instagram too, but it is kind of fun. Me and Wesley have been together, let's see, for many years. We'll be married 13 years this year. But we've been to Miami five times together. And so we love the city. We love going back and eating yummy food and seeing the beach and going on walks and the weather especially.
We usually go in February to Florida because it's wintry here and snowy. And so it was like the perfect timing and the perfect weather when we were in Miami. It was like 80 degrees, beautiful sunshine. We went on the beach and ate yummy Cuban food, churrasco, like so much good food. We love the city and we love our time together.
And it kind of made me be contemplating some different things, which I'll share in this episode. But this is just a plug and your sign to take the trip, especially if you live in a wintry place. Go get some sun. Life giving. But one of the things that I was thinking about while I was there, like we had a balcony room so we could like look out over the ocean. We're on the top floor of our hotel.
We could look out over the ocean.
We could see like cruise ships and sailboats, people at the beach, jet skis, yachts. Like it was awesome. And my eyes would like drift out to like the horizon line. And we woke up one morning and like we watched the sunrise and beautiful, breathtaking. Me and Wesley both are just very present people. So like we appreciate the little things. In fact, I was laughing because we go for these beach walks and like we were like little kids like finding shells on the beach.
We took home a big bag for our girls to play with. But we appreciate and we notice nature. And so our balcony overlooking this horizon, I was thinking about horizons and what that means in our lives, because I feel like that's when my clients start working with me a lot of times is they have their eye on a horizon, either an inner horizon or like an outer horizon for business, for life, a thing that they want to move towards.
And it's like the intersection of the known and the unknown. That's how I kept seeing this horizon in the distance where the sky met the sea horizon line. And I think about this for myself, right, what it means to care about my life and creation, my family, my creative work, my business, my clients. Having a horizon to work towards gives us this feeling of adventure, but it also makes us confront some fears because like half of it is unknown.
Like we don't know what's on the other side of the horizon. You know what I mean? And so I was thinking about this in the context of fear. Many of you guys know I'm like a gene key junkie. I love diving into the gene keys. But in the gene keys, there's three bands of each gene key, the shadow, the gift and the city, which is like the spiritual embodiment of it. And I was thinking about how in the shadow frequency, the fear frequency, unknown feels a certain way.
In the gift frequency, fear feels different. It's kind of like exhilarating. It's exciting. I would say the fear of the unknown feels different. The fear of the unknown in the shadow frequency feels terrifying. It feels like you might die. And I know for me, when I started my business, like I definitely had those feelings of like the first time I invested in something, the first time that I went to a mastermind or a conference, like the first time I made a significant investment in coaching and mentorship.
The fear was scary, but I knew and I can look back on my growth. When the fear started feeling like I could observe the fear without it dictating what I did, I knew I had been moving into like the gift frequency. I didn't have that word. I didn't know the gene keys at the time, but I can look back and be like, oh, like I was just operating at my gift frequency. I was making it about how I could serve the world, which is like, that's how you know you're operating in your gift.
Your gifts aren't for you. Your gifts are for the world, the whole, the collective, what you can do for other people. In fact, one of the gene keys that's in my profile very prominently is the 48th gift, which I just want to read you something that's from there because it talks about this well of wisdom. And one of the things that I've always found interesting is like the well isn't for me. The well is for the people that I work with. And I've seen this play out.
Things that come out of my mouth, things that I can extract, I guess, from myself only comes out when I'm helping someone else. And that's how you know you're operating at the gift. So this is the quote from the 48th gene key. Your inner well exists only to serve others. It is they who come and throw the bucket down the well and draw out your resources.
Metaphorically, all human beings are designed to slake each other's thirst, which means that you have to interact honestly and selflessly in order to prosper. In serving the whole, you serve yourself in the most efficient way possible. Okay, so when we're talking about the horizon and the fear of the unknown and the gift frequency, the way that you experience your fear will feel different than when you're in the shadow frequency. And I'll say this.
One of the best ways that I have found to operate in the gift frequency is to not make it about me. But to get there, you kind of have to sit with the fears, fears of rejection, fears of death, fears of no one loving you or misunderstanding you, fear of running out of money, fear of it not working, fear of not being enough, fear of being too much. All these fears, fears of not being provided for, fear of being left. So many fears can show up in business especially.
But in life, we have fears that we have to confront and you don't get around your fear by avoiding it. You get through your fear by like literally being with it and like looking at it. And so what I've often said, actually, I think I said this last week to a client. I was like, do you know how to become an unshakable force of abundance? You have to look in the eyes of scarcity and not be afraid. You have to look in the eyes of scarcity and choose to see it through the lens of abundance anyway.
You don't get around the fear like you literally sit with it and you do the things that you need to do. I think there's this contemplation energy that comes with fear where you just get familiar with it, you observe it, you see it, which creates a space around it. You don't get rid of it. You'll bump into it throughout your life, different flavors, different scenes, different contexts, but it's like the same kind of fear.
And so what I love about horizons, it's literally an invitation to confront the fear and move forward, to move towards the horizon. You know, as I'm contemplating horizons because like we were driving around the city and we would see like the horizon where we could see like the city skyline or the horizon of the beach or the horizon of the ocean or the horizon of the sky, right?
And it was like very beautiful because like Florida is really flat, which is different than where I live, right? Like right now I'm looking out my window. I can see like the mountains right in the horizon. It feels different. Still horizon, but on the beach, it was pretty epic. So this is what's been on my mind. But it made me think of, I've quoted him before, David White from his book, Constellations has a whole chapter on horizons.
I was like, I wonder what he said about it. And so I want to read you this passage because it's so good. He says, horizons are invitational edges between what is familiar and what must be imagined. The main horizon in my life is the line over which imaginatively my future lies. The line between the world I can perceive and the world that waits for me is also parallel to my individual creative powers and to my sense of personal courage.
My individual creativity is calibrated by how much I put the world I live in into conversation with the world beyond the horizon I must live into. He continues later, horizons tell me I am all possibilities I can see or hear or even sense. Horizons call on me constantly whether I ever reach them or not. No matter how far away, horizons call on me to live in a different way.
Whether I find myself most particularly in this place from which I am viewing the next edge between what I know and do not know. I don't know. I just thought it was really beautiful. But one of the things that I've been thinking about is I feel like that is my work with clients is helping them identify what is the horizon that you can see between what is known and unknown, what is sensed and what is imagined. What is that edge for you? Where are we going?
Where are we trying to go? And can we confront the fears that come up, fears of the unknown, all the fears that I already mentioned. And when I think back on my life, the horizons that I could see, like I can still remember where I was when I called my mom to tell her that I was like thinking about this life coaching business. And I was at the park with my kids and I can like remember that feeling in my stomach. A little bit of butterflies, but also like some dread.
You know, I think that's how you know you're looking at a real horizon in your life is there's this exhilaration and dread because it makes you confront fears, which I think is the purpose of horizons. It literally gives you the opportunity to evolve because you have to confront your fears and eventually transcend your fears.
One of my favorite concepts comes, I learned it from Ken Wilber, but he learned it from someone else. But it's this idea of transcend and include. So when we transcend a fear, it's included in the next phase of your evolution. And I think a lot of you need to hear that because we think we should be beyond something. We think we did the work on something and so we should be past this. I shouldn't be facing money scarcity. I've already done this work. No, no.
We transcend and include it. Like I said, fear isn't something that we like get rid of. It's something that we look at and be with. And I remember actually learning this when I was studying psychology. I remember learning one of my professors said like the only type of therapy that can get you over your fear that might have fancy names, but it always comes back to exposure therapy.
So like you see this in all the traditions in psychology, in mysticism, in like I was mentioning the gene keys in any spiritual tradition, like the way that you move through fear is not by like avoiding it or never looking at it. It's actually looking right at it and being with it. And so the invitation, right? I love how David White says that in his book about a horizon is invitational. But what it's inviting us to do is to look at what we're afraid of and be with it.
In fact, I did this in my group program, House of Abundance, just last week where it was like, where do you not feel free? And then I had people go right into whatever was making them uncomfortable. Let's say you're launching a new group program and you have five spots available. What's the worst thing that could happen? No one signs up. And I jokingly was like, maybe one person signs up. What's the fear?
And then can you sit with that, that reality that is so terrifying to you? Is it someone seeing you talk about a topic in your niche that like is from your normal life, not online? Is it getting rejected? Is it running out of money? Like, what is it? Can we go right into it and feel all the feelings and be with it?
And what's interesting, if you do this long enough, like eventually it dissipates. You just make space around it. And so I think getting comfortable with your fears is actually like a good, almost directional sense of where you should be going. And there's an art and a science. I'm not saying like, just go crazy and do everything dangerously. No, no, no.
Especially like in the form of like your creative work or your business work or your prosperity work. It's like, what's horizon that you're working toward? Is it a financial reality? Is it a place that you live with your family? Is it a number of clients? It could be a feeling. For me, it's like often like this feeling of freedom and artistic flow where like I'm doing my best work and I'm really engaged with my clients and I'm really engaged with my writing and I'm really engaged with even like going on a walk, you know, and this aliveness. For me, that's the horizon.
You know, I've always chosen the horizon and sometimes there's a number associated with it and sometimes there's not. And that has been my work recently. If I really let go of specific numbers of clients, of people in my programs, it's a feeling of fullness. It's a feeling of wholeness. It's a feeling of like I'm doing the work I was put on earth to do. And that feeling comes from my motherhood. It comes from being married. It comes from being alone on a walk.
It comes from doing this podcast. It comes from writing. It comes from coaching. It doesn't just come from one thing, but that's kind of like the horizon that I'm working on is like, what's the next level of artistry? What's the next level of coaching? What's the next level of my fulfillment? What's the next level of my production? I don't love that word, but like actually like what's coming through me, the transmissions, the ideas, the concepts that like I'm thinking about and contemplating that I create in the world. What's the next level? And that's like the horizon.
Some of you have a really hard time identifying what is that horizon? What am I working on? What do I want? And that's the work. That's the beginning. For many of you, you kind of know the horizon and now it's time to face the fear, to be with the fear. And that's one of the reasons that I love the Gene Keys as a framework because it's shadow, gift, city.
We can look right at the shadows and just see what comes up in your system, in your body, what your mind tells you about that. And just when we look at the fear and then we move through it, then the gift gets to come through. And I love that work. It's why I'm doing Business Synergetics. I kind of talked about this last week, but short plug, if you want to look at your Gene Keys together personally and talk about your shadows and your gifts and how it relates to your business, Business Synergetics is a one-on-one experience with me where we do that work.
So I'll make sure that that's linked in the show notes, but you can explore it. There's the short plug and your invitation. But back to the conversation that I'm just inviting you into about contemplating your horizons. If it's been a while since you have found a new horizon, it might be time to explore, what do you want now?
A lot of people find me at different transition periods where they feel this new horizon coming and they're not clear on it, or they've just gone through a life experience, whether that's becoming an empty nester, their kids go to school, their business is at a certain place, and they're kind of exploring, like, what now? And it's such a beautiful question to live into, like, what do I want now? What's the new horizon?
And what's funny about our lives is, like, there's always new horizons. But then after that, after the new horizon is identified, the work is sitting with what makes you uncomfortable, old patterns and paradigms that no longer serve you, old stories that you tell yourself that no longer serve you, right? I actually posted this on Substack.
We talked about it in The Miracle Mind as well. I opened The Miracle Mind with this question, which I'm going to invite you into, which is, what is the conversation you need to stop having with yourself? For a lot of us, we have conversations about avoiding fear, or justifying hiding, or justifying not taking action because of fear. And the conversation that needs to stop is whatever that conversation is that protects you from confronting the fear. So I'll give you an example.
This was many years ago, five years ago, six years ago. I did a little live challenge. One of my mentors had mentioned that she did a live challenge, and it did a lot for her business. And so I was like, I'm going to do that, right? So, like, I went live on Instagram every day. But the first day, I was terrified. Going live feels different than me recording, where I can, like, edit it, or rerecord it, or not publish it. I mean, like, the safety of my little cocoon.
Live was a lot more confronting for me, because it was like, people can watch me. And so I remember that it took me, like, 15 minutes to hit the live button. But I look back on them, like, that's a great example of how do you get over your fear of going live? You go live. How do you get over your fear of people's rejection? Put yourself in situations to get rejected. How do you get over your fear of being alone? You be alone.
How do you get over your fear of, like, running out of money? You look at your financial circumstances, and even if it's scary or bad, like, you choose to believe and keep operating anyway. You choose to see it differently, and you be with the fear. And so, I think for a lot of us, and this is for me, too, you never escape this. All humans have fears.
It actually gives us a dimension of, like, adventure and growth and newness, fresh energy, when we embrace the fear. And so, at the end of the Gene Keys, like, I love this line. It's kind of like, I would say, like, the mission statement of the Gene Keys. He says, embrace the shadow, release the gift, embody the city. So, when we embrace the shadow, we embrace the fear, the shadow that exists in all of us.
It's funny because it might still be there, but your relationship to it has changed. And I think that's why I love business. That's why I work with people who are drawn to business endeavors, like entrepreneurship, because the horizon of entrepreneurship is a constant challenge to your fear. So, you have to evolve in real time. Like, you cannot stay stagnant. You cannot keep repeating the same behavior or the same patterns and get a different result.
You literally have to go within and embrace the fear and transmute it into the gift. And then you get paid for it. And you make an impact, and your business starts growing, all because you did the work. And so, that's why I've often said, like, business is just a stack of vulnerable skills. Everything else is the inner work. And this is one of those examples, right?
Finding the horizon that you want to move towards, feeling the invitational energy of it, and being invited into embracing your fear and transcending it by embracing it, not by running away from it, not by avoiding it, but by literally looking at it in the face and then releasing your gift from that work. And that's why I love what I do. It's what my path has been.
It's what many of my clients' paths have been, too. They have to confront their fears, literally. And as they do it, as they embrace it, as they be with it, as they create a space around it, new consciousness gets to enter into the chat, into what their offers are, into how they ask for money, into how they create clients, into how they create content on social media or podcasts or wherever they're shining their light.
And it's good work. And I'm glad to do it. And I'm glad that you're doing it with me. Like, it's such a cool transformational journey. And so, to wrap up, find your horizon. What fear do you need to look at and be with? And go right into it. And if I can help you check out Business Synergetics. Okay. I'll talk to you soon. Bye.
