Hey guys, welcome back to the podcast. I'm excited for today. I'm calling this episode When the Universe Whispers, Not Like This, and I wanted to start with reading a post that I made on Instagram a while ago that inspired it. I am diving right in. Here we go. I said, sometimes things don't work out because the way you're trying to create it isn't in alignment.
The obsession, the worry, the attachment, ignoring what your body needs, procrastinating family time, constantly checking, constantly hustling. This is not the way you intended to do things. And so the universe whispers, not like this. And the success, the clients, the money gets put on hold until you do it differently. Fluctuations happen for us and our highest good.
And so I kind of wanted to go through, based on that quote, some experiences that I've had, some thoughts that I have, because I have talked to a lot of people recently, clients, friends, colleagues, people who do similar things to me. And a lot of people are feeling very stuck. A lot of people feel like nothing they do is working or that they've tried stuff before.
And sometimes I hear clients say that to me too. And I get it. It's frustrating when things aren't working the way that you want them to. And I want to offer a perspective, not from like moral high ground at all, but like from my own experience, both coaching and being a student of this work myself and being coached myself through things that didn't work, both personal and business. I have four stories we're going to talk about.
Some of them from motherhood, some of them for business, some of them for my own health. Because the reality is like sometimes it doesn't work and it's frustrating and it can bring you to your knees, to be really honest. Like it can really mess with your head. And so when the universe whispers, not like this, it's an opportunity to see it different and to try something different, whether that's like a perspective and an energy you bring to the work or like a strategy or a tactic or a rhythm of life thing. Maybe you rearrange your work schedule.
Maybe you change your program. Maybe you change something about the way that you do client work. Maybe it's changing what time you wake up. I don't know. I don't know. As we go through the stories, I think it'll come full picture for you. I think you will have the wisdom come to you. I want to share that too, that I might share my stories and what worked for me. But I just want to invite you. Don't just listen to like literally what I'm saying.
Listen for the themes and like how I think about it, how I chose to see things differently. It's not going to be the tactic, especially I'm going to talk about some of my launches that didn't work. This doesn't mean do the launch the way that I launched. What it means is like what I'm hoping to invite you into as a conversation about what to do, how to think when it's not working for you. And so the first story that I thought of was when I got Mono.
So when I was on the up and coming, I would say as a coach, like things were starting to work, right? Like I had my first big launch. I was starting to make like good money. Like I had a 15k month, I had a 10k month, I had a 20k month. I was like really excited about the possibilities in my business. And I had three young children. So I had a four year old, a two year old and a baby, baby Laney. It's so crazy. And my husband Wesley was out of town this week.
And right before he left out of town, I thought I had strep and I was like, okay, I'm going to go in and get this taken care of so that everything can run smooth while you're gone. And I went to the urgent care and it wasn't strep, it ended up being Mono. And what's funny is like, I look back, and I knew it was Mono, like my lymph nodes were super swollen. And I was so tired, but I just thought I had strep. And at the time, I was like really pushing through.
Laney wasn't sleeping through the night. We had a lot of rough nights trying to get her to sleep and like, make sure that we could do everything that we need to do for work. And my other kids obviously still needed me like Tegan was only going to preschool sometimes. And so there was a lot of physical demands. And at the time, like I was really excited about the possibilities and potential of my business. And so what's interesting about this is I didn't realize it.
I was not aware how not working it really was for my physical health. So I was making it work. I was waking up when I needed to wake up and I was doing what I needed to do to be the mom and to be the coach and to be the business owner and to be the content creator. And like it was all working except my physical health was not. And I didn't know that. And so the universe whispered, not like this. And I got mono. Right. And I was taken out.
I think I was like 28, 29 at the time. Yeah, I would have been 28, 27 or 28. Anyway. And I remember leaving the urgent care when they had confirmed that I had mono. And one of the nurses like kind of grabbed me by the arm and was like, take care of yourself. Ask for help if you need it. And I remember kind of being like, that's kind of a weird thing to say. Like, I'll be fine. You know, miss hyper independent. And so Wesley's like, do you want me to stay?
And I was like, no, I'll be fine. Like, I just kind of like brushed it off. Anyway, I get so sick. Like mono as an adult. I mean, it's bad as a teenager, but like it is really bad as an adult. It took me out. Like, I honestly don't know what my kids ate that week. I don't know what they did all day because I was just like on the couch looking like death. You know, like my throat hurts so bad because my tonsils were so swollen. Like I would cry drinking water like it was terrible.
It was terrible. Like I got a big flashing sign message like you cannot do it this way. You know. And so I remember after probably five days of just like I don't even know how we made it through. I guess that I was doing it alone, which I would go back and ask for help. Now, at the time, I was like miss hyper independent. Right. So I got through it. And as I was like reflecting on why it happened, how is this for me?
Because like that's one of the things that I've trained myself to ask. How is this for me? How is this happening for me? What is here for me? What's the wisdom? What's the goal that I can extract? Because I care about growth and evolution for myself. So as I reflected on why this happened, I realized I had been totally pushing myself beyond the physical capacity that I actually had. There might be limitless ideas. There might be limitless potential.
But my body is not a limitless potential machine. It has limits. Our physical selves have limits. We need sleep. We need water. We need food. We need rest. We need connection. We need creativity. There's a lot of things that we need. And I had been pushing it so hard. I didn't know it. Like I wouldn't have told you that I was pushing it so hard at the time. And so I needed a little wake up call. And mono was that for me. So I had to cancel all my calls.
And I had to change my work schedule. I had to reschedule client calls. I pushed back some launching things that I was doing. And it was hard for me because I was used to powering through. And I'm good at powering through. I have high capacity, like many of you listening, like super high capacity for a lot of things. I can handle chaos. I can handle crisis. I'm good with it. But I look back on that and I'm so grateful because it taught me how much I wanted a slow life.
And so now, I mean, this is many years later, but my business and my life looks so different. Like I'm not pushing. I'm not trying to go fast. I actually experienced time really slowly. And a lot of that started when I got mono because I realized I have to reevaluate how I'm doing things. And what I really learned was like me and my babies come first when Lainey would have a rough night because the other thing that started happening is Lainey started getting UTIs, which actually that will relate to something I'm going to talk about later.
And so she would get sick a lot. So like I would have to take her to the urgent care and she was up at night and we had to give her antibiotics and all this stuff was happening. And I just went into override. And I'm sad about this, actually. Like I'm sad that that was my default because I honestly like bulldozed myself through some hard times unemotionally. Like I just shut down all my emotions and just bulldoze my way through. And that's not how I live my life now.
And mono woke me out to like how bad it was becoming because I just kept suppressing all my emotions, all my stress, all my tiredness, all my worry about Lainey and the magic of childhood that was slipping away. This was the youngest my kids were ever going to be. And I still think that because it's still true to this day. Today is the youngest my kids will ever be. But during that time period, I was just like on to the next launch, on to the next business thing.
Learn the next thing. Like let's scale this thing. Let's get this going. Let's make it happen. And I made mistakes and I learned so much. And it wasn't that my business wasn't working. My business was working. It wasn't that my motherhood wasn't working. I would spend a lot of time with my kids. It was the energy that I was bringing to my life always on to the next thing.
And mono forced me to slow down, to give my body what it needed, and to reevaluate like how I was structuring everything. And so it was actually after that time I used to work in the basement of my house. I moved my office up to the main floor. I started getting more help with a nanny. I started asking for time. We started calling them amber days where Wesley would hang out with the kids and I would take a day to myself. I started going to sleep earlier.
I started really prioritizing my sleep after mono. And I started looking at my business as like not the main thing, right? My life is the main thing and business is a part of my life, a huge part of my life, but it's not my life. And that changed so much. And so when the universe whispered not like this, I responded.
And I'm so grateful now because I've carried with me, you know, that the main thing is my life. The main thing is the love that I have for everyone in my life and myself. The main thing is being present. And from there I choose to launch or not. I choose to sign clients or not. I choose to create content or not, right? Like all my business stuff kind of falls into place because that is in the proper order, I guess. So that was mono.
The next story that I wrote down was launches networking, which I think will be really relevant to a lot of you who feel like you have launched group programs and masterclasses and one-on-one and you've tried to sell certain things at a certain price point and you've tried to fill programs and you've tried to get people to join your challenge and like all these things and it feels like it's not working. And I so get it. And it is frustrating.
And it feels like the only people who can do it are like certain business gurus. And that's not true. It's just what our brain offers us. But it's an exhausting time period where you're doing a lot of testing and tweaking and experimenting. And so I get it. I know it's really hard. And so I wanted to speak to it because I went through a similar period in my business a couple different times where I tried to launch something and it just wouldn't land the way that I was hoping it would. And I didn't create the clients that I thought it would.
And I didn't create the money that I thought I would. And I don't have like a specific time window for this story, just more of like a general observation of my launch history. In fact, one of the things that I do is I do launch debriefs for myself. So like every time I launch something, I kind of track some data about it. And you know, how many people joined? What did I do? What actions did I take? What things worked right? What things didn't work? What will I do differently?
And I have this document that like if you looked at it, you would just like laugh because like there's a lot of failures. There's a lot of things that didn't go as planned. And so sometimes when my clients bring to me that something didn't work, I'm like, yeah, you just get back on the horse. Get back on the bike. You just keep going. Because that's what all entrepreneurs do, right? We're constantly co-creating with the marketplace, with our audience, with our community.
And so it's not just like a one and done. It's like a relationship. That would be like saying like, well, I took my wife on one date and it's been 10 years, but I don't know why she's mad at me. Right? Like, yeah, like you keep dating. That's how I feel about business, right? Like, yeah, you launch one time. Like, okay, launch again. Try something different. Try a different angle. Try a different title. Try a different client avatar. Try a different price point.
Try a different storytelling technique. Try a different launch strategy. Try a different program length over and over again. Because that's a relationship. Like if you think about your, which has been on my mind, you guys know this past few episodes of this podcast have been about relationships. But like, oh my gosh, like it's everything in my business to me is relationship building. And I think when you look at launching that doesn't work as relationship building.
It changes the perspective because you're not gonna be mad at your community for not getting it. You're gonna be like, oh, I'll try again. Right? This didn't land. This didn't meet you where you want to be met. I'll come up with a different way. And it's not victim. It's just like co-creative. And so sometimes launches don't work because you're getting feedback and data from the very people that you're trying to help. And they're basically saying like, not this or not this way.
Say it a different way. Say it in a different angle. Say it with different words. Talk about something else. And that's okay. That's our job as the entrepreneurs to figure out what they want. And so sometimes not like this, the universe whispers, not like this doesn't mean you're not cut out for this. It doesn't mean you're a crappy entrepreneur. It doesn't mean that, you know, you suck. It means like, hey, try it different.
And I think having marketing stamina having marketing longevity, having the relationship commitment. We are seeing this in real time. People who don't have the commitment or the follow through or the stamina will quit. I don't want that to be you. And so I'm sharing this from my heart. I failed a lot. Some of you watched me fail many times. It's trying to sell stuff, trying to launch stuff. And it wasn't always like an obvious failure.
Sometimes it just like didn't hit my own standard that I set for myself or like it didn't go like I thought it would. And over time, I learned right now almost this sounds cocky. I don't want to say like that, but pretty much everything I do on some level works now because I have a lot of data. But most of all, I have a lot of relationships built through time and through the fire of entrepreneurship. I've gained a lot of trust with people that did not happen overnight.
And so some of you are still developing the trust with your community. They need to see you launch more. They need to see you fail more. They need to see you put yourself out there way more. And sometimes we have this recoil. I've been really thinking about this since I've been coaching clients.
We have this recoil where we have a failure and then we recoil and we hide and we almost like brace ourselves and then we prepare to fail because we're like, well, it happened in the past. It's like that doesn't necessarily mean that's going to happen in the future, especially through the lens of relationship building. It's like when you're dating someone, you don't just let go on one date and you're like, hey, I guess that's the nature of our whole relationship.
My favorite metaphor is like a tapestry. So it's like we have different threads, different thickness of threads, different colors, different patterns. And it's not just one thread that makes the tapestry. That would be a really poor picture of what the tapestry even is. If you just hyper fixated on one woven thread, you have to zoom out. Your business is the same.
Instead of getting hyper fixated on one failed lunch, you have to zoom out and see the whole entirety of your body of work. I don't hyper fixate on one failed lunch. I look at all the lunches, all the podcast episodes, all the posts, all the DMs, all the masterclasses, all the programs that I've ended, the programs that I've started, the programs that work, the programs that didn't as a giant tapestry of my body of work that people can now admire or interact with or not if they don't.
And that's okay, but it's a fuller picture. And so sometimes when we get feedback from our community, like, hey, that didn't really resonate for me or that's not quite what I'm looking for. We have to be humble enough to take that and then choose to create differently, whether that's, okay, I launched a program for, I'll give you a real life example. I launched a program called Spiritual Boss Mama. This was, I don't even remember what year it was.
I thought it was going to be pretty big, which is really funny. I think I had like three people join it, four people join it. And I remember being like, huh, dang, right? Like I thought this was going to be a big program because I'm a Spiritual Boss Mama. What is this? Oh, cringy, but real. This is real. This is my story. But what I learned is my audience doesn't like to be talked to as a mom.
So even though I I would say like 90% of my audience is moms, 90% of my clients are moms, not all of them, but a lot of them. And what I learned was like, that's not the identity that my people want to be spoken to. And I realized like, I'm the same. If it's in the business owner arena, I want to be talked to like a business owner, not like a mom.
And so if I teach a program to entrepreneurs, I have to talk to their entrepreneur identity, their coach identity, their creator identity, their business owner identity or their entrepreneurial identity. And it was a huge miss. I didn't know it at the time. But what my community was telling me is like, we like that you're a mom, but we don't want the program to be about motherhood. That was important data for me. So I've never launched a program called Spiritual Boss Mama.
Again, I can't even say that without laughing because it's like it just didn't work. Right. And as you guys know, like I haven't launched that program since its inception. And that's okay. It's just funny that my brain was hyper fixated thinking because I was like, this is the best idea ever. And then it flopped. But I took that and was like, okay, not like this. The universe whispered, not like this. And so I took the feedback. I regrouped and I went back out and made another play.
And I think I learned a lot of this from sports. Right. In basketball, if you try a play and the defense reads it really quick and they block it or they steal it or they get a stop, you might run a different play or you might do the play differently. And so even though I've talked about motherhood and other programs in almost all of my clients, I coach them on their personal relationships. I am their life coach, not just like a business strategist.
Like I wouldn't even put business strategy in the top three things that I do for people. It's not what I lead with because the identity that my clients have is not spiritual boss mama. So you guys really need to hear that because you're trying to speak to something that your clients really don't want to be met there. They don't resonate with that. That's not anything against you or me. It's just like, oh, that didn't resonate. Okay, let's play with different words.
Let's play with a different title. Let's play with a different program focus. And so Lunch Is Not Working is an invitation to meet people where they want to be met. Speak to them like they want to be spoken to. Use words that resonate with them. Actually, this will be fun for those of you in House of Abundance. This week, this week we're doing architecture resonance. And this is at the foundation of so much of what we do, because resonance does have to be architected.
And that's not because you're not good enough. It's not because your ideas aren't brilliant. They are. But we have to use words that convey that to the right people. And so sometimes launches don't work because we're being invited into co-creation. Not Like This is an invitation to figure out what it is. Okay, the next story I wrote down was potty training Lainey. I had mentioned when I was talking about Mono and she started getting UTIs.
Lainey had to have a surgery to fix her… she had a what is it like a bilateral urinal re-implantation surgery. Basically, she would get frequent UTIs as a baby and they realized she had reflux in her kidneys. So basically, like the pee would go back up into her kidneys. And if she had UTIs, it would become a kidney infection. So we got the surgery and we basically had to re-potty train her. Even though she was potty trained before the surgery, she had to get potty trained again. And I got very frustrated, actually.
If you scroll way back, there's an episode about power struggles because I definitely got into power struggles with Lainey over potty training. And I learned so much from that whole time period because I was a little embarrassed that we were back to square one with her because she was going to preschool and she had to be potty trained for preschool. And I just like really, really wanted to stop being in the potty training land.
And so I would get frustrated and I would try to make her go potty. And like every time she had a accident, I felt like a personal failure, like I totally made it about me not realizing like that was not useful. And I remember meeting with her surgeon explaining my frustration and he was just like so gentle, but also kind of like lighthearted about it. He was just like, oh, like, yeah, it's on her timeline. It's her body. And he said it just it's on her timeline. It's her body.
And I was just like, oh, oh, I'm making this about me. I'm trying to force something that's literally like her biology has a rhythm and an intelligence and I can trust it. And so instead of getting into a power struggle, like I can trust her process. And it taught me so much about motherhood, so much about co-creation with her kids, about the intelligence that our bodies have, the intelligence that nature has. And when we try to fight against it, we usually lose big.
And I was losing big emotionally. Mostly I was like frustrated all the time. And the universe whispered not like this in the form of toddler tantrums, of Lainey really being mad at me a lot. She's my fiery, feisty little love. Love her so much, my little Virgo. And it didn't work, you know? And so I learned so much from releasing my need to control her outcome. Because the universe whispered not like this, I had to humble myself and be open to different possibilities.
And so I actually, we went all the way backwards. I put her back in pull-ups. I let her tell me when she was ready and I stopped trying to force my timeline. What's ironic about this, it ended up going a lot faster once I stopped trying to make it go fast. And I think she could feel my trust in her because I stopped making her wrong. I stopped forcing. I stopped obsessing. And I leaned back and I relaxed. And I think it allowed her to relax. And I just trusted her timeline.
And some things didn't happen even quick. Like she still wore pull-ups at night for a long time. And I'm good with that. I had to make peace with that because as a mom, I have to learn to listen to my kid. I knew that I had learned that in different facets of motherhood through the years. But like this particular one, because I was like, we already did this, right? I'm frustrated that I felt bad that she had to have surgery because no one likes to see that in their little kid.
Frustrated that I couldn't figure it out for her. But when I relaxed and like let her lead the way and trusted that I would read the signs and read the cues and she would let me know how this was going to work. It was like a humbling moment. And it worked so much better. So many lessons came from how I think about co-creation. I think about that time period, even like in business, in relationships and everything.
There's this relaxing, this leaning back that has to happen if we want the path of least resistance, which is something that I teach. And the path of least resistance for Lainey was like really just letting go of all my timelines and agendas, which was very hard. Okay. The last one that I wrote down was like overselling one-on-one. So this is to be a little bit higher level. And I'm still going to say it because this is just what's real for me.
For years, I would focus on selling one-on-one coaching. I would talk about it on my Instagram stories. I would sell it in my emails. I would like give a lot of calls to action for one-on-one. And there came a time where that stopped feeling good. But because it had worked in the past, I felt like I had to keep doing that. And I remember like sending emails and sharing the spots that were available. I don't even know when this shifted.
Recently, within the last couple years, I've stopped specifically outright selling one-on-one. Not that I don't do one-on-one, but I've changed how I do it because the old way that I used to do it about like talking about on social media and writing emails about it stopped working. People stopped taking action the way that they did in the past. And I was like, okay, well then what's the new way that's trying to be born?
I was like, oh, one-on-one clients just reach out when they're ready. And that seems so simple, but it's not how I was doing it in my business, right? Like I would almost like be in a launch for one-on-one. I would try to force the timing of people saying, I have two spots left, right? And that stopped working. Some of you really need to hear this. And some of you, this will not resonate. So use your discernment to know if this is for you or not.
For me, creating my business almost like an energetic field where clients can come to me when they're ready or when they have something specific they want to work on has completely transformed how I do business because clients come all the time. They reach out when they're ready because we have a relationship. They DM me, they book a call with me, you know, they message me on Voxer or whatever, and they let me know when they're ready.
And so my miracle mind and my one-on-one work is all like when you're ready, basically, like there is no launch for it. And it's worked beautifully. I think what I'll share is it didn't work beautifully before I made this shift, right? When I was trying to make something happen, when I was trying to force my timeline, my agenda on people, it didn't work. And so the universe whispered, not like this.
And some of you are kind of beating your head against the wall doing the same thing. And it's like, what would it look like to approach it from a different angle, to do something different, to do something even counterintuitive? For me, it felt uncomfortable to stop selling it, even though I wanted it. I didn't stop selling it. I stopped marketing it. I think that's a really good word.
I stopped marketing my one-on-one, which feels like so opposite of what I was taught as a new business owner. It was like marketing is the lifeblood of your business, right? But I operate just like at a different consciousness now, where I trust the timing of my clients 100%. I really trust that people find me in the timing that works for them, when they're ready, when they need it, when it's for the highest good of all.
And my job is just to hold the field, to be coherent with myself, to make it available, right? Like if you go to my website, you can read about one-on-one. If you go to my Instagram bio, there's a place where you can see it. I'm just not marketing it. I'm letting people find me, which I was ready for that in my business. Some of you are ready for that in your business, where you need to create a field and pathways for people to come to you.
You don't necessarily need to go out and find people and market to them, which, like I said, some of you need to market. You're at the stage of business where marketing is required. There was a stage of my business where marketing absolutely was required, where I was talking about one-on-one on my Instagram stories, and I was posting about it and emailing about it. That's just a more recent experience where I'm like, oh, like, not like this.
And it doesn't have to have a lot of resistance. When you feel that universe saying, not like this, there doesn't have to be a lot of angst about it. There doesn't have to be like a drama party about it. You can just like, oh, okay, what's the other way? What else is available? What's the path of least resistance now? How would I like things to be now? Contrast creates clarity.
And so for me, changing how I sell one-on-one has really changed the game for me where, yes, I technically sell it, like it's available to buy, but my clients find me and they reach out to me and they kind of work the process to come when they're ready. So there's not a marketing of one-on-one. And that's just another recent example of how I've shifted when it doesn't work.
And so hopefully, whatever you're bumping up against, if it's not working, are you ready to see things different? Are you ready to take a different approach? Even if it's counterintuitive, even if it's not what you were taught in the past, which is why you have to trust your own discernment. So hopefully this resonated for you, especially when you're in a situation where the universe is like, not like this. Sometimes it's spicy. Sometimes it's quiet. Sometimes it's like a blaring sign.
And sometimes it's a quiet whisper. Either way, what you do, how you respond, how you consciously choose what's next is everything. It takes creativity. It takes humility. It takes a willingness to experiment, to try something new. And I'll also add, sometimes it's to try things longer than you thought. That's the unsexy answer. Sometimes it just takes more iterating than we anticipate. That's business. That's relationships. Right? Can you feel that?
That's how relationships are. Are you willing to go to bat as many times as it takes to resonate with the person that you're trying to reach? Are you willing to step up to the plate and give it one more shot, one more time of connection, risking rejection in order to find the people and to let them know you're really here for them? Like we do that for our loved ones.
You got to do it for your potential clients and your community. That's the work. Not like this is an invitation to doing it at a higher level or a different level of consciousness or in a different way. I hope you feel that today. If I can help you with this, you can explore all the links in my bio. You can join House of Abundance.
Pretty much everything I do right now is open enrollment all the time. So House of Abundance, you can join whenever you're ready. Miracle Mind, you can join whenever you're ready as long as there's spots. And one-on-one work is whenever you're ready as long as I have spots. So thank you for listening. Thank you for sharing. I appreciate you all. Have a beautiful day. Bye.
