What's up everyone? Welcome back to the podcast. I think I'm going to call this like a fireside chat with Amber or something. I recorded a whole episode, just to be really candid with you, a couple days ago about like personal brand ecosystems or something. And it was a little glitchy like the whole time. And I don't mean glitchy in like the tech, like it just felt clunky when it was coming out of my mouth.
And so I sat with it and I realized like there's this other thing that's wanting and needing to come through. And so I want you to imagine like we're like in a comfy cozy chair and we're by the fire, like a fireside chat. I think sometimes if you're like me, like I put on this little performance mindset and I don't mean like I'm pretending because I'm not pretending, but like, okay, like now is the time to podcast. Like, what am I going to say?
And sometimes I kind of get just in the content flow, you know? And I don't even mean it like a performance in a bad way. It's just like, oh yes, like this is the version of Amber that podcasts. And I'm doing like little robot arms. You can't see it. But I want this to be a little different because I've been having some pretty deep conversations with clients recently about things not working and the hard times.
And as much as I love abundance mindset and principles of co-creation and even like universal laws and things like that, I also know there's this other side of entrepreneurship where a lot of people don't talk about it. I mean, some people do, but, and there's a lot of good reasons on why we don't talk about it because it's uncomfortable it's vulnerable because we don't want to talk about the hard things sometimes, especially if you're trying to, which we're going to talk about, like sell something that helps people, right?
You feel like a lot of pressure to be in like this amazing abundant mindset all the time. And the reality is, is that life, I remember learning this from Brooke Castillo growing up the way that my parents would say it was like opposition in all things. And I think that's close. When Brooke Castillo said life is 50 50, that felt even more clear to me.
And then as I studied books and worked with mentors and stuff and just like became a student of personal development and spiritual development and now business development, the word that resonates with me is duality the most. And if you even think of like the yin and the yang sign, there's a white dot in the black part and a black dot in the white part. So even in the good, there's a little bit of bad. And even in the bad, there's a little bit of good is one way to see it.
And when I think of duality in business specifically, there's a lot of stuff that feels really hard. And I just wanted to acknowledge that because I'm walking with a lot of clients right now through some really difficult situations. And I think it would be a disservice to other people who listen to this podcast if I didn't share my perspective and what I'm coaching these people on. Obviously, I'll keep their privacy and things like that. But business is hard sometimes.
And to say that it's not is a form of lying. And I think sometimes like I love wealth consciousness books and I love mindset books and I love like anything about abundance. And I still believe that and I still believe in like wealth energetics. But there's this other side of the equation that I'm like reflecting that I think I could do a better job of bringing into our conversations together on this podcast, which is why this fireside chat feels even a little uncomfortable for me, but also very right at the same time.
Even as I'm talking, this podcast is flowing so much better than the other podcasts I tried to record because I think it needs to come through. And so if you're listening to this and you are in a hard time, I'm glad you're here. If you're listening to this and you're not in a hard time, you can still listen, but like it might hit different if you find yourself in a hard time. And so I was telling this story to a client where I had basically overextended myself in business, which happens.
So I had invested in a group program. I had invested in a one on one coach. I was paying for software. I paid for a course. Anyway, my monthly expenses in business were so high, ridiculously high for the amount of money that I was bringing in. So basically, the situation that I was in was like everything that I made in my business was coming out of my account.
I did it in the belief that it would expand me, and it totally did, but not in the way that I thought, because I first had to go through some really hard lessons, because what ended up happening is I had a tax bill due at the same time. So I had payments going out to my coach, payments going out to a group program, payments going out for software, payments going out for a course that I had invested in like six months earlier, and I was still new in business.
And so I was like basically breaking even every month, which means no profit. And if I didn't make sales, I was actually in the red. So I felt a lot of pressure, a lot of stress. And at that time in my business, I shut down. I had a coach, but I didn't tell her what was going on, which is hilarious and a huge mistake. That's what coaches are for. I felt embarrassed. I felt vulnerable.
And so I'm sharing this story with my client, because I think sometimes we forget that like everyone that you see as a successful entrepreneur has been through dark nights of the soul like that. They might not talk about it, but I guarantee that they have, because the lessons and the wisdom that come through in a time period like that, like I wouldn't trade it for the world, even though it was so hard when it happened.
And so sometimes I'll coach people through dips or through things that aren't working, but they feel like they have to keep a show on like the mask on because they're afraid if like people knew how hard it was or if people really knew that it wasn't working, they would stop hiring them. And like I've felt that before, but I want to share some of the things that I've learned both through that period that I was telling you about where I was like in an interesting spot where like I had really high expenses and felt a lot of pressure to make money.
But I've been in situations, tax bills being due, launches that I thought would go well, commitments that I made that I thought I would have the cash for, things like that, dry spells, clients quitting when I thought that they were going to stay committed, like all sorts of things happen in business. And like that's entrepreneurship. It's not because something's gone wrong. It's not because you're flawed. It's not because you're not cut out for it.
And this is like where the spiritual and the abundant mindset comes in. Like I really do think these things happen for our good, even if it feels, excuse my language, like shit when you're in it. Like you feel really bad when you're in it. And I say that because I know how hard it is to feel like you have to maintain an image. I'm watching some of my clients do this.
I've been in this situation before where it feels like you have to maintain a certain high vibration thought or something. But the reality of business is duality. Like you can't escape the law of duality. And so when I think of duality, these moments in time or seasons or hard pressure-filled experiences can grow your capacity. Everyone wants high capacity for success and results and like abundance. But the way that we form that capacity is really uncomfortable.
It doesn't always feel good. I don't think you have to stay in a suffering state of mind. And we're going to talk about the difference between pain and suffering for a second because I think this is useful. There is pain in business. I think suffering is a mindset shift that happens where we wallow or we even like extend or expand the pain. So pain is like a client quits. Pain is a launch flops. Pain is a dry spell in business. Pain is over investing in yourself or your business, right?
Overextending your funds or any other number of hard things. Because the other thing that I know happens, which is very real, is like personal stuff happens while you're growing your business. I've seen people get divorced. I've had two clients who had cancer while we worked together and beat it, by the way, which is amazing. I've seen clients have babies. I've seen clients have children with illness. I've seen clients where their husband lost their job.
I've seen clients move and things didn't go as planned. So many different personal things can happen. They get sick, right? I've been sick before in moments that really you wish you weren't sick. Anyway, so lots of personal things can happen. So we have pain in business. We have pain in personal life. That is inevitable. And I don't mean that in a way that like you're going to wallow in it, right? It's not suffering. It's an acknowledgement that there's going to be duality.
So when I think of business and the pain involved and the lessons that come from that, it grows you into the person that you really want to become. So I think it was Andrea Gibson. She's a poet and she recently passed away. And I was reading one of her posts about like the octopus versus the turtle. And you might have seen this post or heard this idea, but dang, it really stuck with me. So the turtle has not changed or evolved in thousands of years, right?
It has a hard shell. When things go hard, the turtle retreats into itself, right? And it has a protective shell. And so it hasn't really evolved because it hasn't been exposed to pain that would force it to change, to evolve. And I don't even, maybe force isn't the right word. It hasn't been in environments possibly painful or risking pain to evolve. The octopus, on the other hand, is totally vulnerable. It doesn't have a shell. It's soft. Its skin can be pierced. It's super exposed.
And because of that, it puts itself in environments that risk pain and even death. But because of that, the octopus has evolved dramatically more than the turtle. Octopuses are super intelligent. I read a book called The Soul of an Octopus. I think you should check it out. I really enjoyed it. And they're super intelligent. They're super adaptable. They're brilliant. And they can make their bodies really tiny. They can hide in holes. They can change color like it's crazy.
And so when I think about in business, do you want to be like a turtle or do you want to be like an octopus? It's so obvious. We want to be like an octopus. But that means we have to put ourselves in vulnerable positions where we risk pain. And pain could be rejection. Pain could be tight finances. Pain could be hard decisions. Pain could be, shoot, just putting yourself out there on the internet and asking for money can feel painful for a lot of you.
Risking rejection, risking people talking crap about you, risking people misunderstanding you, people thinking that you're greedy, people not being your friend. These are all things that I've coached people on. Some of them I've experienced myself. Some of them not. Every journey is super different. But the idea is like we have to put ourselves in uncomfortable situations to evolve.
And if you are listening to this podcast, on some level you care about evolving your consciousness. You care about evolving yourself as a human being and you want to see what you're capable of in business, in entrepreneurship, and in your personal life. Which means you have a choice. Are you going to expose yourself to pain or not?
And when I think about this like dark night of the soul experience, pain, a lot of my clients think that they've done something wrong when they hit or bump into pain. And maybe there's a different word. The flip side, the opposition, the duality. And what I want to offer is experiencing pain, like the vulnerability, the risk, the rejection. When things don't work like you thought they would, any sort of mental or emotional pain, you have a choice.
This is going to be a little spicy but I think some of you guys really need to hear and feel this. Suffering is when you take that to another level or you maintain it or you sink into it and you let it overwhelm you versus using tools, getting support, and activating what I think of as personal power to move beyond it.
So when I was in the situation that I was talking about as one of the examples that I'll share in this episode, when I had pretty much as much money coming out of my account as going into my account and it felt really scary, one off month and I was like in the red basically. And one of the things that I realized was like, if I can figure this out, I will never be the same. And what it taught me, I didn't move into suffering. It was painful. It was vulnerable. It was hard.
But what it did is it expanded my personal power. So there's circumstantial power and there's personal power. Circumstantial power is like I feel amazing when my business works. I feel amazing during a certain part of my cycle. I feel amazing when the money comes in. I feel amazing when the weather is good. I feel amazing when people give me praise. I show up for my business when it's working. I make offers when I just made a sale. Circumstances are lining.
I feel amazing. But business is a game of personal power, which means I show up no matter what. I keep going even when it feels really hard. I write the email when I'm in a launch because I said I would. Even if I'm really nervous, no one's going to buy. I'm going to launch again even if I'm a little gun shy from my last launch because no one bought. Those are the moments where you develop personal power and they don't come for when times are easy and good.
And so as much, like I said, I still love abundance mindset. I still believe in it. But I think the best, the most important thought were and belief work I've ever done is when it looked like it wasn't working and I still believed and I still showed up and I still asked for the sale and I still posted the link and I still wrote the email and I still reported podcast. I still did the things. And so I find myself in an interesting position because I love energetics and I love abundance mindset and wealth consciousness.
And I love marketing and I love consistency and I love like more like the masculine. And so where I find myself as a coach and a mentor really is in the bridge of both. We need the container of the masculine, of personal power, of grit. So my favorite phrase that I've coined through the years is spiritual grit. Doesn't mean you have to force it. Doesn't mean you don't take care of yourself.
It doesn't mean that you override your system or burn out your nervous system. It means there's a way to show up consistently through the hard times and come back to a spiritual perspective, seeing creative solutions, believing in a higher power, supporting you, seeing how you're being guided, seeing how things are for you. And that's a hard question to answer when you're in it. When you're in a really hard time, it takes a lot of guts to say, how is this for me?
And I think that question can unlock so much wisdom, so much perspective, so much self-love. And just seeing yourself from a higher plane doesn't mean that it's not painful, but it means that there's a purpose. It means that evolution is at hand, just like the octopus. If the octopus was never exposed to predators, to rocks, to people, to changing environments, it wouldn't have evolved. And I think my theory is that the person who is willing to evolve will win in business because they learn the lesson.
They humble themselves to learn the skills, to adapt the mindset, to try one more time. One of the things that, to me, when I hear someone say, I've tried everything, I have a lot of resistance that I would never say that personally. I've tried everything. That's an impossibility because there's infinite things that you could try. And the other thing that I've said before is until it works. So sometimes it's like, that post didn't work, or that launch style didn't work, that offer didn't work. And it's an error in thought because a lot of times it's like, okay, how else could I say it?
How else could I present it? Who else would benefit from this? What other platform can I try? What other messaging angle can I use? What other way of being can I bring to a launch, right? It's never over. And so if you catch yourself, this, like I said, this is a little spicy. If you catch yourself saying, I've tried everything, or I already did that, to me, that's a signal that we are blocking some of the lessons and the wisdom that is trying to make its way into your experience, into your mind, into your heart, into your soul.
And so the pain of it not working, what ends up making it into a suffering state is when we do that. And there's a lot of ego in business. And I, like, I am not superhuman in that, like, I definitely have had moments of ego. I'm still on the lookout for where my ego is showing. If I say things like, I already tried that, that's ego speaking. Soul wants experience. Soul wants to evolve and to grow. And so soul would never say that. Soul's constantly looking for like, where could I be wrong about this? I was joking with my mom the other day.
I have learned to love being wrong because it means I'm about to ascend into another level. When I'm wrong about something, I grow. And so it's not that I want to be wrong. It's just that I'm open to being wrong all the time still to this day. Like, I still am open to being wrong about a launch, about a strategy that I'm trying out, about a belief that I have. I'm open to being wrong because if there's a better way or a more aligned version, I want to know it.
And so when I'm getting feedback from the market, you know, I believe marketing is co-creation, right, between me and my audience. When I'm getting feedback from my audience about things that they don't care about, and how do I know that? They don't buy it. I want to evolve. I don't want to stay stuck. I don't want to say, I've already tried that, or it's not working. I want to say, how could this work? What's a different perspective here? How else can I try it?
How else can I reach these people? And like I said, the octopus, right, risks pain in order to evolve. And so whether you use the word pain, or you use the dark side, or the flip side, or duality, or opposition, there is a divine fluctuation to all things. I wish this was discussed more. That's why I'm having this fireside chat with you, because this is my attempt, I guess, at introducing and just sharing honestly, but sometimes it feels really hard, and that's not a problem. It means that you're being the octopus instead of the turtle.
When you're feeling pain, it means you are exposing yourself to environments that will evolve you if you let them. And so when I think of the person who takes on business or entrepreneurship, it's not easy or else everyone would do it. So there's gonna be moments of hard, there's gonna be moments of doubt, there's gonna be moments where it seems like nothing's working. And then in that moment, you have a choice. Will you evolve?
Or will you hide in the turtle shell? Will you pretend that it's all gonna work out over time, but change nothing? Or will you adapt and evolve? And this is the hardest, I think, the hardest part to discern. Is there something that needs to change? Or do you need to keep doing it until it works? And my personal answer to that is probably a little bit of both. As an example, podcasting and posting on social media and email marketing work, period, right?
Figuring out how to do it in a way that resonates with you and that resonates with your audience, right, is an art and a science. But if you quit, you'll never get there, right? So no matter what you choose, there's this element of spiritual grit where you're gonna keep going, you're gonna keep posting, you're gonna keep asking, you're gonna keep creating value, and you're gonna keep selling.
Now, what I think is worth it is being humble enough to see where you could do it better, where you could maybe say it more specifically, where you can learn a different skill, because business is a stack of learnable skills. And so some of that skill is mindset-related, where you're gonna learn how to carry out a lunch, even if you're nervous.
You're gonna figure out how to go live or post on social media, even if you don't want to show your face, like you know that's an important part of a personal brand. Or maybe you're learning tech, like Kajabi, or you're learning email marketing, or you're learning how to post a reel on social media, like there are skills and there is a learning curve. And that doesn't negate the fact that there is also a way to see this from abundance.
And so that's where I want to go next, is like how do you, one, expose yourself to pain without becoming skeptical or cynical of the process or the industry that you're in? Because that's another thing that I've seen, is some people hit a season of pain, and then they get really cynical about their industry. And I get it, I've been there, and what I learned is like, if I'm gonna stay in this industry, healthy cynicism is okay, right, where I look at it with a discerning eye.
But at the end of the day, I want to be an optimist, and I want to stand for the industry that I'm a part of in the way that feels like it's integrity to me, okay? And so if there's pain, and you shut down, and then you get skeptical or cynical, and then you stop showing up, and you stop marketing, and you stop serving, and you stop connecting and building relationships, like yeah, your business isn't gonna work.
Part of the inner work that has to happen is when you bump into an event, or a circumstance, or an environment, or a season that is hard, being humble enough to ask, how is this for me? What have I not learned that now I'm being invited to learn? What's something that I could perform at a better level? What are skills that I can develop at the next level? Where have I missed the mark? Where have I been believing something that's not useful?
Where have I been out of integrity with myself? Because sometimes things don't work because there's something that you can do at a level that is more in alignment for you. So I posted this, I think I've read this before, but I think it's just a useful thing for you to consider, which is sometimes things don't work out because the way you're trying to create it isn't in alignment.
The obsession, the worry, the attachment, ignoring what your body needs, procrastinating the family time, constantly checking, constantly hustling, this is not the way you intended to do things. And so the universe whispers, not like this. And the success, the clients, the money gets put on hold until you do it differently. Fluctuations happen for us and for our highest good.
The problem is, so that's the post that I wrote, when we're in a low or a dip, if you have self-judgment, if you have ego, if you're worried what people will think, and so you pretend it's not happening, you miss all the wisdom and you miss the lessons. And so when I think about this in my own life, when I'm in a dip, I want to move through the lesson as quickly as possible, which means humility is required. I have to see where did I miss something?
Where am I not doing the fundamentals? That's another question I think is worthwhile for many of you. Because sometimes we almost like miss the mark because we stop doing some basic things. So like I teach a concept in Conscious Coach Academy called Coach's Core Four. And to me, Coach's Core Four is a fundamental list of activities that I do as a coach that builds relationships that I probably will commit to doing for the rest of my career.
And it's reaching out to people, it's adding value, it's starting conversations, it's putting a call to action somewhere, whether that's in a personal conversation or publicly on Instagram or in an email or in a podcast. I'm telling people how they can work with me and inviting them to take the next step. And so if I do those things every day, things start to stack. If I miss that and I stop doing the fundamentals, of course, like it takes some time to catch up, but it does catch up.
And so sometimes we're invited to look at where we can strengthen the fundamentals. When's the last time that you started a conversation with someone that you were thinking of? When's the last time you sent a podcast episode to a past client and said, when's the last time that you made a comment on someone else's Instagram full of value in the spirit of detachment?
Like some of these basic fundamental things, we stop doing them because we get lost in our own thoughts and our own fears and our own worries, or we overcomplicate things because we're learning new things that we forget to continue to do the fundamentals. Well, if you have ego, you won't be able to see that. And so part of this is hard because business is about service. But if your business isn't working, it becomes all about you.
And so it's almost like we put these blinders on and we block all the pathways of abundance because we've made it all about us. Ego. My business isn't working. My launch flopped. I don't think that this is working. My finances are tight. My client didn't renew. It's all about us. Ego centric. But business works best when it's client centric. When you're thinking about how to be of highest service, when you're in a launch, if you're thinking about how you need to make the money, your message isn't going to land as potently as when you're really tuned into the person.
So this is what's interesting is both things can be true at the same time. You can be in a hard place in your business and need to make money. So you launch something or you offer something. But when you're writing or when you're inviting or when you're speaking, you are super tuned in to the person that you're speaking to. To me, that's what having an abundant heart means is I care about hitting my own goals for sure.
I have desires in my business for revenue, for impact, for milestones that are meaningful to me. But when I write, when I create, I'm imagining the people in my audience, in my client roster that I can serve at the highest level. And that has always helped me actually get past a hard time. And I know that's not a sexy answer, but I think it's truly like an abundant principle. And so when I learned the lesson, when I asked myself, how is this for me? A lot of times the first thing that flashes into my mind is how I can use it to help other people.
So when I'm mentoring people and they go through a hard time on something that maybe they haven't experienced in a while, maybe it feels like they're being called back to the fundamentals or being called to realign so that they can teach it at a higher level. Sometimes we have to see how can I use this for myself, but also to impact a lot of people. Every business lesson that I learn, I'm like, I can use this to help people. And that perspective has deeply served me.
It also has allowed me to not move into suffering. If I wallow in pain in business, something hard happens, a darkening of the soul happens, things don't go as planned, and I bump into something uncomfortable, I have a choice. I can help me see this differently. How is this for me? What lesson is showing up here? What wisdom needs to be embodied at a deeper level? Where have I missed the mark on fundamentals?
Where have I stopped making it about my client and only focused on myself? Some of these wake-up call questions are really useful. And then I can move on. I can start creating differently. Maybe I come up with a new plan. Maybe I reach out to someone that I felt inspired to. Maybe I start a conversation. Maybe I post something on social media. Maybe I write an email in the spirit of abundance.
But if I wallow in my pain and I make it all about me and I start spinning out and I start making it mean that people are judging me, that I'm not good enough, that I've tried everything, that people don't care, that people don't like me, I start spinning out in my own thought drama about myself. You can start to see when you get sucked in because all your thoughts are about you. And I say that with so much love because I've been there.
I remember another time in my business, I had a big taffy bill due and I wallowed a little bit because I was like, why isn't this taught to me? It was more like, why didn't people teach me this stuff? Why wasn't I instructed about how expensive taxes were? And all these thoughts. Then it just kept spiraling. I wish I never went to school and had student loans. If I didn't have student loans, I wouldn't be in this position where I had to make money.
All these things, all these stories come if you notice. It's all about you. And it becomes very spirally because it's all about you and your worthiness or lack of worthiness or your incompetency or how you feel like a victim to the algorithm. Or for me, it was like a victim to taxes. And that spiral feels so real and it's scary. And a lot of people quit because of it. I'm going to be really honest because it's intense.
And what I've noticed is in the spirit of abundance, how is this for me? And being really honest with myself. And sometimes it's a journal session. Sometimes it's getting coached. Sometimes it's talking to a friend. Sometimes, honestly, it's like putting everything down and going for a walk in the sunshine. Sometimes it's taking a nap. Sometimes it's stop the freaking podcast, stop the course, stop the book and just be present.
Sometimes it's not trying to solve it or fix it and just like going into prayer or sitting in meditation and like letting your mind be still if possible so that you can receive the answer. I think sometimes when we spiral, especially it's like we start layering self-judgment, especially for those of you listening who are coaches and know thought work and teach and coach on thoughts. You start to weaponize the thoughts that you're having.
It's like, oh, I shouldn't have that thought. Oh, if I'm in doubt or if I feel pressure to make money, my clients are going to feel that and I need to get rid of that thought. And then it's like spiral, spiral, spiral, spiral. And you get into a place where you're not marketing, you're not shining your light, you're not adding value, you're not making calls to action. And it reinforces the whole thing and it keeps you in a dark place.
And so the way that I have gotten out of it is, how is this for me? Help me see this differently as a little prayer. There's so many different ways to shift. And if we don't shift, we spiral and we spiral and we spiral and it becomes more and more about us. And business is co-creation. And so we want it to be about us, but we also want it to be about our clients and our audience and the people that we can serve. And so it's a delicate art.
It's going to take practice, but I want to invite you and I guess speak that because one, you are not alone. If you are in a hard time in business, if things feel tight, if you feel unqualified, if you are doubting why you're doing this, if you're wondering if it's ever going to work, you are not the only person who has had those thoughts or been in that environment or experience. What I want to offer is what you do next is very important.
Will you continue to spiral and deepen your ego's attachment to results, right? Because you're afraid of what it looks like. You're afraid of what people would think if they found out. You're afraid that you're not cut out for this. That's all ego. If you haven't read the book A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, I highly recommend it. It really helped me see the difference between ego and my spirit, like my ego self and my true self.
I'm saying all of this with so much love and non-judgment. One, because I've been there. And two, I know how the ego works. It's very sneaky. It makes it about your survival. It makes it about your well-being and your future. And so it gets deep because all of a sudden, all you can think about is yourself and what you need to do and what's not working. Meanwhile, your audience has their own problems that your business could solve.
But as long as you're thinking about yourself, you can't see it. So when you're in a of pain or darkness, ask yourself, how can I see this differently? How is this for me? What lesson needs to be integrated? What could I do that's back to the fundamentals? The other question that I really love to ask myself and clients is like, what is the simplest action I can take today? Sometimes it's just reposting something that you posted in the past. Sometimes it's sharing a quote.
Sometimes it's sending a text to a friend saying, hey, I'm thinking of you. Anything to get you out of the spiral of self? And I mean, it's okay to think about yourself. I'm not saying never think about yourself. You are included. But there's a balance in business. If you only ever think about yourself, you're going to block the connection and empathy you have with clients.
And if you only ever think about other people, you will burn out, trying to serve all these people or you'll ignore your own needs or not have healthy boundaries and things like that. And so there is a balance. But for this episode today, it's like when you bump into pain, when you go through a season of hard times, when things aren't working to shift and snapping to kind of like, what is the thing?
What's the catalyzing experience that's going to move you into evolution to learn from what's not working, to be humble and adaptable enough to change what needs to be changed or to commit even more like, okay I'm just going to see this through. I'm not going to quit. I'm here until it works. How can I see this differently? Where did I miss the mark in serving other people, of initiating conversations, of adding value, of making clear calls to action that will benefit them?
Your calls to action aren't just to benefit your bank account. Your calls to action are to help people change their life. So think about that when you invite people to pay you for your services or for your product. It's like it's going to change their life in a good way. So the call to action isn't just to fix your problems, although that's part of it. It's co-creation. And so how do you keep that in perspective when you're in pain?
It's like being willing to ask some hard questions, being willing to see things clearly. And if you need help, like get coaching on it so that someone can show you your blind spots. And what are the simple, tiny actions that you can take to keep momentum and keep progress? Because sometimes when we're really spiraling, we stop everything. We stop selling. We stop showing.
We stop serving because we are so deep in our own doubt, in our own fear that we can't see anything else. And so sometimes if it's really deep, like go for a walk, turn off your phone, call your mom, call your friend, do something so different to help bring balance back to your body before you try to work. And once you go back to work, keep it simple and get help.
This is why mentorship is so important. I've been in seasons where like I needed someone to help me. I needed someone to help me make clear decisions, to also hold up the mirror to see where I was the one sabotaging myself with my thoughts and my fears and my high level hiding. And so I say this with a lot of love. I know some of this was probably hard to hear for some of you, but it sets you free because pain is part of business. That's what helps us evolve.
I guess the risk of pain. Suffering is optional. Suffering is different than pain. So when I think of what happens when we suffer is like we bump into a circumstance, let's say like a client doesn't renew and you go into a dry spell. You like have a series of events that happens where like no one's bought from you and you're like, crap, like, am I doing something wrong? I'm in a dry spell.
It's not working, right? You have a moment of pain. And if you wallow in, if you start going down the rabbit hole of like, maybe I'm not cut out for this. No one ever buys from me. I don't have whatever so-and-so has. My audience doesn't care what I do. And you start wallowing and spiraling and you move into suffering.
That's very different than like, dang, like it really felt uncomfortable when the client didn't renew or like, dang, it's been a month since I've had an inquiry. Go back to the fundamentals. Have I asked for inquiries? Have I been serving people who are a good fit for coaching with me? Have I been making it clear how I can help? Have I been showing up consistently? Have I been initiating conversations based on pure value, not just asking? Have I been shining my light like a lighthouse? Have I been making it clear what people do when they work with me?
How can I see this differently? How is this for me? And then you can move into the next iteration. Ups and downs on the way up is a normal part of business. In the down period, you get to decide if you're going to spin out and make it all about you or if you're going to have the capacity to learn the lessons, to embody the wisdom, to check yourself where you could be in a higher level of integrity, to see what skills you've been lacking. Maybe it's okay to lack skills.
That's just a truth of life. Like if you're not at where you want to be, you just lack some skills and maybe lack some belief. That's not a fundamental flaw with who you are. It's just something to become aware of so that you can get to work. And I don't mean hustle. I don't mean override your system. Just steady progress. This is expansion. This is one of the biggest spiritual insights that I've had for myself, which is constriction is a part of expansion.
Seasons of lows help you reach higher levels of like highs. Seasons of pain help you reach bigger levels of joy and fulfillment. Seasons where things don't work help you put in place systems and ideas and processes and beliefs so that it does work. Seasons where finances are tight will teach you about how to create seasons that are abundant. It is not something to reject.
It is not something to dismiss. It is not something to shun from your experience.
It's something to lean into. And I say that, I know it's hard. I know it's hard. But this was the message that came through for me today to share with you. For whatever reason, there's so much love here for you. Not everyone has the guts to be an entrepreneur and to put themselves into risk pain. But not everyone wants to evolve the way that you want to. Not everyone wants to create the way that you want to. And so take heart in that. That you are being expanded.
Duality helps us expand. Going through something we don't want gets us clear about what we do want. And it's not a problem when you bump into those things. I think you're being invited to look at it different, to look at it with clearer eyes, to look at it in a humble way, to ultimately become who you are capable of becoming. I love you. And thank you for being here. I really do feel connected to you all because very few people want to be creators in the world like this.
To expose themselves to pain and lessons and growth and evolution. We all want the upside. But this is the downside. You're going to go through seasons of hard times sometimes. And that's not because you're a bad person. It's not because you did something wrong. It's because there's something to integrate. Something to deepen your understanding of.
Something to put into place. Something to be in more integrity. Something to believe. Something to try. Something to commit to. This is for you. And I know that that can be used as a weapon, but my invitation to you is use it like a tool. Use it to support yourself. Use it to grow. Use it to become instead of against yourself, to hurt yourself. Okay. I'll talk to you soon. Bye.
