Hey guys, welcome back to the podcast. I had a pretty epic day and weekend. It's full-blown summer mode, so I have a nine-year-old, a seven-year-old, and almost five-year-old. And I've talked about this a little bit on the podcast before, but in the fall, all three of my girls will be in school, and so we're in summer mode.
And we went and saw Lilo, the movie, and we've been hanging out in the sunshine a lot. And today, I'm back to work and contemplating things for you all, like I do. And one of the pieces of content that I like to include in my cycle of content is like a life philosophy. If you're a coach and creator, I recommend you do the same.
Putting that kind of in the lineup of like how you see life, and your values, and what you want. This isn't going to be a super tactical, like let's dive into the granular aspects of building a hyper-profitable audience. We can talk about that, but today's going to be more of like my life philosophy. And so I'm calling it I Create My Experience, because I notice my clients who get the most out of our work together have this belief, and I have this belief.
And it took some harder things happening, both in business and just personally. Even though I was thinking about this even before I hit record, I actually have believed this for a long time. Now, I think my mastery of this concept has expanded over time, and the way that I've seen it play out and my understanding has deepened.
But I remember back when Facebook was like a new platform, I remember posting like these like vague quotes about, you know, you can choose to be happy, smiley face. And if you're feeling blue, paint yourself a different color. Like I remember posting that on my Facebook long before coaching or any of this.
I've always had a part of me that believed I could create my experience, you know, as a coach, as a mentor, as a person who studies like the energetics of success in all domains. There's a way to understand this that feels like gaslighting yourself. And there's a way to understand this that makes you a creator of your life.
And so I wanted to be really clear, I am not talking about gaslighting your experience at all. Gaslighting is different in that you pretend it's not happening. Whereas what I'm talking about with conscious creation is acknowledging what's happening and choosing very consciously to create your own experience.
And so I'm going to go through some examples from my personal life and from business and some client stories too of how this can look, because I think it can be easy to kind of dismiss this concept, especially if you're like, maybe you have done this gaslighting or the spiritual bypassing thing to yourself, where you like try to think positive and the shit hit the fan and you're like, what's happening? You know, that's not what I'm talking about, because I've done that too.
And it ends up catching up with you. For me, I get like physically ill. I remember the first time that it happened, I ended up getting mono as an adult, which was very hard with three young children, because I kind of like powered through things that I shouldn't have powered through. And so that is also not what I'm talking about. I'm not talking about powering through anything.
I think part of this conversation is about acknowledging what you feel and being with it.
And once you're being with it, then you can consciously create your experience. Once you acknowledge, ouch, that hurt, or I didn't like that, then you can start to have a conversation with yourself about how you would like to create your experience. It's not dismissing pain or suffering. It's not dismissing when bad things happen, because that doesn't work.
But at the root of this conversation, knowing that you are a creator of your experience puts you back in the driver's seat of your life. Like I said, that doesn't mean that bad things don't happen, doesn't mean that you don't bump into obstacles and hard times, right? There are ups and downs on the way up.
So most people who listen to my podcast care about personal and professional development, they care about improvement, they care about expansion. And so when I say something like, I create my experience, it can be tempting to not want to look at the things that are hard. And I'm not inviting you to do that because that doesn't work long-term. Like it will catch up to you.
I think when I say I create my experience, that it means deeply looking at the present moment and acknowledging what feels good and what does not. It's like telling the truth and looking at the facts. And then after you've done that, stepping into your creatorship and deciding what's next. That's the conversation I want to have.
And so the first story that actually popped into my mind, I've told this story before, but maybe not in this context, is me and my little baby family. So it was me and Wesley and my baby Teagan. And Teagan's now my oldest. Well, she is my oldest. She's nine now. By the time that this happened, she was a baby. And so I was a new mom. We were a new family.
You know, me and Wesley were navigating new parenthood and big decisions about his career and him dropping out of his master's program and all sorts of stuff. And we happened to be living in Las Vegas. And at the time, I was just getting into personal development books and concepts. And so I think I had listened to like a Tony Robbins YouTube video or something.
And we had always complained about Las Vegas because it was hot, because we both grew up with a lot of green. And there's like no green in Las Vegas. I grew up in northern California. So like I was used to having, you know, just like beautiful landscapes. And so we would really like dis on Vegas. All the backyards are so small. We hate the desert plants.
I don't like that my backyard is full of rocks. I don't like that. I come out into my car. My car is one hundred and twenty six degrees. That kind of thing. We would say it in passing because me and Wesley are both pretty positive people. But I did not have the level of understanding of what I was really doing until I read a book by Byron Katie called Loving What Is.
And what I realized, it was almost like I had this like spiritual awakening of like the only person who gets hurt by me complaining about Las Vegas is me. Las Vegas doesn't change. Our ability to move doesn't change. Only I suffer when I complain about Las Vegas.
And it was like this duh moment, like this truly like, oh, my gosh, I'm only hurting myself by complaining about the rocks and the desert plants and the heat. Right. And so it was the first time I didn't have this awareness, like what I'm about to say, like I now use this little prayer of like, help me see this differently. And I didn't have that prayer then.
But that's the first time that I lived it. So I wanted to see Las Vegas different. And this is what's wild is I ended up falling in love with Las Vegas. We actually just went back there last weekend because we like to visit. We like to go to the different restaurants that we like. We like visiting where we used to live, like driving around the desert landscape. We like swimming.
We go there almost once or twice every single year because we ended up loving it because I was willing to see it different. And so I started to look at like the beautiful desert sunsets and sunrises like they are very unique. I love the sharp mountains. I ended up loving like the palm trees and like the aloe vera plants. And I liked the rocks. And like anytime there was like a fountains, I was like, oh, like the contrast of the rocks and the fountains. So beautiful.
And I genuinely made peace with and ended up falling in love with living in Las Vegas. What's ironic about that is shortly after Wesley's job was like, hey, do you guys want to move to northern Nevada? As soon as I made peace, which I'm going to talk more about this in quantum play, which is a program coming up. But when we have nonresistance, we actually allow what we want into our experience.
And so as soon as we like made peace with Las Vegas, we ended up moving. But it was my first taste of like, I really do create my experience based on what I'm thinking, based on my perception, based on what I choose to see. And so that was the first time that I realized like I spent a year hating Las Vegas when that was not required.
Like I could have seen the beauty and the magic. In fact, one of the things that we learned to love was like we walked around a mountain called Lone Mountain. If you are from Vegas, you may have done this hike. But we love walking around Lone Mountain. And I used to like hate that walk, which is so funny because now I love it.
But I used to like think it was so boring or so deserty, which is so funny because now I'm like, I love that walk. I have fond memories of it. And it was like the first physical example that I could think of when I chose consciously to tell a different story about what I was experiencing. That was even before I found life coaching. Really, like I was kind of dabbling in it, but it was just not the same that I see it now.
And so that was like the first physical example that I thought of. But the other example that I have in my life that's so obvious, I don't even think Wesley listens to this podcast, so it'll be kind of funny if he ever does. But Wesley has type 1 diabetes and celiac disease. And from the time that I met him, he was very responsible for his experience of diabetes. So what that actually looks like, I have literally like never heard him use diabetes as an excuse for anything.
Now if he's like actually has low blood sugar, obviously like he's on the ground sweating trying to eat sugar, right? Or like if he has high blood sugar, he's taking his bolus and he's like managing it, right? It's not like he doesn't manage his diabetes because he does actually exceptionally well. But I've never heard him use it as an excuse because he takes full responsibility for his experience of diabetes. He doesn't complain about it.
He doesn't even really bring it up unless someone asks him about it. Because he sees diabetes as something that like doesn't limit him. Or it's not this bad thing to him. And I didn't realize how rare that was until I worked at a place in college at a treatment center, and a few of the girls had diabetes. And I watched them, it was just a different experience, right? They talked about it differently. And I realized you can create your experience even of chronic illness.
Again, like I said, I don't want you to use it as a gaslight, especially if you have a chronic illness. I'm not saying like, yeah, forget that you have a chronic illness. Like Wesley doesn't forget. But he's very conscious about how he talks about it, how he empowers himself around it to take the best care he can of himself. And he's very mindful of not using it as a limitation.
Now sometimes it literally is, this is a different conversation. Sometimes it physically, literally is a limitation. But when it's not, he doesn't use his mind to make it into a limitation. That's taking ownership of your experience. And so this is the concept that I want to talk about, which is circumstantial power versus personal power.
When you say something like I create my experience, what we're talking about is personal power. We're also acknowledging and kind of like tipping our hat to this idea of circumstantial power. This is where the conversation of privilege comes in. This is where the conversation of like physical disabilities comes in, or like life circumstances.
We are all equal power as far as personal power is concerned. But we're not all equal in circumstantial power. So what I mean by that is Wesley got diabetes when he was nine years old. I do not have type 1 diabetes. And so when he has low blood sugar and he's sweating on the couch because he needs to eat sugar, like we don't have the same level of power available to us to like go do the dishes. I have more circumstantial power.
Now the story he tells, what he does after, how he relates to diabetes, like that's in his personal power to choose his experience. But circumstantially we have different levels of power available depending on his physical condition. Another way of thinking about this is for women. I think menstrual cycles changes circumstantial power for some people.
Now you can choose what you think, you can choose what you do, and what you make it mean, and how you take care of yourself, and how you structure your days. I know some people that like literally transform their business based on their menstrual cycle, right? That's a concept of circumstantial power. You change your circumstances to give yourself the opportunity to tap into more power for yourself.
Another way that I talk about circumstantial power is human design. So like I'm a manifesting generator. I have clients who are projectors, manifestors, manifesting generators like me. Or I even know someone who's a generator. I mean if you haven't studied human design I highly recommend it. But I would use human design as an example of circumstantial power.
So if you're a projector, you need to cycle through your work, play, and rest. That doesn't mean that you cannot post on social media, that you couldn't do a marketing campaign, that you can't send emails. There just might be a better way circumstantially to line yourself up with your energy, and how you get invited, and things like that, so that you have more power available to you.
So when we have the conversation of personal power versus circumstantial power, it's knowing what circumstances limit your power, with the understanding that you still have personal power to make, and create, and do things in your life, with your relationships, in your business. I think this is such a powerful conversation because we can acknowledge that there's different levels of circumstantial power in the world.
But this is where you can look at someone who's born into poverty, as an example, and chooses to study. Circumstantial power is low, but they have tapped into high levels of personal power, or high levels of agency. And they study at the library, they ask for help at school, they get on Google and teach themselves, they seek out mentors, and they get involved in sports, and they get involved in learning the clarinet, or whatever.
And they have high levels of personal power, and then they end up graduating high school, and going to med school, and then they talk about it later, right? And they talk about their story of overcoming being born in a situation with low circumstantial power, low resources, low education. But they did it themselves, by taking upon the responsibility to create their life experience themselves.
So they had high levels of personal power, and they became like a doctor or something. This is like a made-up example. Whereas someone else, born in the same circumstances, might not tap into personal power for one reason or another, and they don't become a doctor. Or there's a different life path for them. And this is a tough conversation, because I know that not all circumstances are equal in the world.
There are different levels of circumstantial power available to people. But this is something I learned from Tony Robbins. Personal power is something that we have to take responsibility for. This is why self-education is so important. This is why learning new skills is so important. This is why putting yourself in contact with people who can support your goals is so important.
This is also another aspect of personal power that I think, one of the natural progressions that I see people make, is as you rise in personal power, whether that's finances, knowledge, education, resources, community, influence, resources is a big one, like financial resources, we have this desire to give back.
And I think it's a beautiful cycle, and I wanted to speak to this because if there's a lot happening in the world, I think one of the most empowering ways we can use our personal power is to empower people with less circumstantial power than you. Not because they can't do it, not because they're not inherently valuable or personal powerful enough to do something.
It's like they might just need different circumstantial power to make their life better, or to support their family, or whatever they're going through. And so I see this awesome opportunity, if you're listening to a podcast like this, you probably have high agency on some level, you are a learner, you seek out resources, and ideas, and knowledge, and mindsets that can transform your life.
And this is one of the reasons that I even published this podcast, is because I know what it's like, I had limited circumstantial power when I started my business. I mean, yes, I was born in America, you know, I had a husband with a job, but it felt like we were being stifled by our finances. I didn't have a ton of money, I didn't have any money in to invest in my business. But I had people who were kind enough to put out content for free.
Yes, some people ended up, you know, ascending in their world and buying programs and hiring them to be a coach, but like, I couldn't do that. So I listened, and I became a student, personal power of their podcast, until I had circumstantial power, which was like my resources, my finances, my audience. So like, I would put in the business context, having an audience, having money, or at least access to funds, maybe you're connected to someone with an audience.
Those are all circumstances that make business easier, but they are not required to create your experience of business. Personal power is what creates your experience in business. This was hard for me to learn, but once I learned it, I never had to use a circumstance as an excuse again. I was like, okay, I need to use my personal power to create circumstantial power.
And once I learned this, so personal power is my mindset, my scrappiness, my innovation, my ability to be resourceful. This is not about resource, like, so if I had to define it this way, circumstantial is you have resources. Personal power is I am resourceful. I learned to be very resourceful to create the resources that then create more resources.
And so some of you really need to hear this because you're waiting for your circumstantial power to expand, and circumstantial power can be increased through personal power. This is why trying things, I think this is where we get into like more of like the masculine energetics, right? Putting yourself out there, knocking the doors, right?
I didn't actually knock doors, but posting on social media, DMs, trying things, putting yourself out there, making invitations, resourcefulness. Making an ask is usually what it looks like. Asking. And as you expand your personal power, developing new skills, developing spiritual grit, developing the resources within yourself, mindset, heart set, that spiritual grit where you're in this until it works, that's personal power.
Personal power in business will end up creating circumstantial power like cash flow, like an audience, like an email list, like social media followers, like credibility and testimonials and all these things that come later. Circumstantial power. And so sometimes if we're feeling severely limited and we want to create our own experience, we look around for more circumstantial power.
And I see people doing this like, well, if I had a bigger audience, well, if I had been in business longer, if I was certified, if I had someone to invest in my business, or if I was featured on someone's podcast, or if my reel would go viral. And we say these things as if that's what we need. I'm not against circumstantial power because like I would say business strategy is like a blend of both, right?
We want to have the right circumstances, but like at the end of the day, understanding that you are a creator of your experience, that personal power. And this is why like one of the first books that I remember reading that changed my life was Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins was the first book that I read on personal power. And then I found others, so many others, if you guys have been following me for a while, I love books.
So many books that taught me it was always about personal power because personal power creates the circumstances and circumstantial power just creates more circumstantial power. But you don't have to have circumstantial power to make your dreams come true. You need to cultivate personal power. You need to take on this is high levels of consciousness so that you can see that you're responsible for your experience.
It's hard because not everyone has the same levels of circumstantial power. But the people who end up creating what they want despite circumstances are the ones that tap into personal power. If you have high levels of circumstantial power and personal power, I believe you have a responsibility to give back to people who have lower levels of circumstantial power.
Believing in their personal power, holding space for their personal power, inspiring their greatness and inspiring their potential. But helping people who have less circumstantial power, like giving them tools and resources for free, like this podcast, it's how I think it's meant to be. I think it's how the world could work. The people who have both circumstantial power and personal power can give back to people with less circumstantial power.
I think that's how we make the world a better place. I think that's what I admire about my clients who want to give back. What's interesting about this, when you combine circumstantial with personal power with high levels of integrity and a desire to make the world better, like this is where we see just incredible people do incredible things for communities and people. And I think the world needs more of that today.
And I say that because it can sound like I'm out of tune with the world. I am not out of tune with the world, even though I don't love the news. I know there's things that are happening, and I still think that this conversation is valid. Because at the heart of everything, like we need more people who could listen to a podcast like this, take it upon themselves to create their life experience and to create more circumstantial power for everyone around them.
While they grow and expand their circumstantial power and their personal power, and everyone is lifted. One of the statements that I've worked on with clients is I am a portal for prosperity. So to me, what that means is the world is better because I get what I want. And I know that that can sound heartless or selfish, but I wanted to deconstruct what that means to me, which is I believe when I get what I want, that I can do more with my circumstances to give back and inspire other people's personal power. So it's like twofold.
Not only am I creating circumstantial power for people by sharing this podcast, by making donations or whatever, I'm also coaching people, I'm expanding people's consciousness. As my business grows, the ripple effect of that is more people with personal power and circumstantial power. The world does get better as I do this work.
And so when we talk about I create my experience, some of the hardest places that I've personally had to learn it is parenting, is where I've lived, like I mentioned the Vegas example, in lunches, I get to decide what I make a failed lunch mean. I get to decide what hard parenting decisions means for me. I will create my experience. I will decide the story that I tell and the perception that I choose so that it can be the most empowered version of my experience.
This doesn't mean that everything is rainbows and daisies. It means that I am in the driver's seat, like I get to decide what my experience will be. And this is something that I first learned in the book, Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. And he talks about like basically the last human freedom is no one can take away your ability to decide your experience, like between stimulus and response is agency.
I'm not saying it's easy, but I'm saying it's possible and it's an option, regardless of what circumstantial situations, there is still personal power. That's why I fell in love with coaching. It came at the perfect time for me and it probably came at the perfect time for you. And it's not an accident that you're listening to this podcast. I think because on some level you want to expand your personal power and inspire other people around you to do the same.
I think you want to expand your circumstantial power, your energy, your resources, the things that you have to use at your disposal. And you want to equip more people with resources and resourcefulness around you. I think that's the best work we can do. Expand our resourcefulness and expand our resources while we inspire other people to do the same. I think that's what happens when you choose to create your life experience by design, consciously.
And I think that's why I love this industry. It's like why I love what I do. It's why I'm so inspired by my clients who are not just growing their income but like also increasing their influence and their impact in the world with families and generations and their communities. It goes beyond just having a profitable business. The profitable business is the beginning.
The profitable business is the circumstance that you change that then gives you more freedom to choose more impact, more influence, more amazing things in the world. And so if you're struggling with entrepreneurship, is this good for the world? This is my response to that. I do think it's good for the world because it increases people's personal power and it increases people's circumstantial power. That's what we can do for people.
I think good people with more circumstantial power will change the world. But circumstantial power that comes from personal power, that's a different paradigm of life. I think that's where miracles happen. I think that's where communities can transform. I wanted to speak that. I create my experience. Take care of your mind. Take care of your heart. I think it can be easy to get sucked in to a lot of the negativity.
I'm not saying like be an ostrich and bury your head in the sand, but be mindful of how much you're consuming and how much you're creating. Be mindful of what you actually have power to change and what you don't have power to change. Consider and ponder and contemplate the conversation of circumstantial power and personal power and what you can do for you, your loved ones, your community, where you can give your time, your resources, what you can actually affect change in. That's my message to you.
Because at the end of the day, we need more people with high levels of personal power so that we can transform the world together. And I know that sounds like cheesy, but I really do believe it. That's my vision that I have for entrepreneurship. There are pathways where you can actually make a difference. That's how I use and that's what I want from entrepreneurship and creativity and wealth consciousness. All of that. Oh, big conversation. Okay. I hope you're having a beautiful day. I will talk to you soon. Bye.
