Hello everyone and welcome back to the podcast. As often I do, I'm inspired by a thread. I'm always looking for like the golden thread of themes and concepts that unite kind of my work with my clients and then I kind of consolidate it and share a framework or share thoughts in this podcast, which is kind of like a beautiful co-creation.
My work with private clients inspires these ideas, sometimes it goes into programs, sometimes it goes into the podcast. And today it feels a little like I was kind of sitting here pondering like what's the golden thread between all my clients, like what they're up to right now? Because I have clients doing awesome stuff and some of it similar, you know, all of them are growing their business in different ways and in different industries.
But sometimes themes emerge and there wasn't really like a clear theme that was immediately obvious to me. But then I had this little ping and I love when that happens. And so you already know what I'm going to talk about because you saw the episode title. The episode title is Allowing Expansion, but it comes from a passage in the book, The Way of Mastery.
And this is a passage that I go back to often. And I actually posted this on my Instagram months ago, but now it's making its way to the podcast. So he says, so you could say that God is like a wise gardener who is constantly trying to grow beautiful roses. He knows exactly how much moisture to put in the soil.
He knows how to make those nutrients rise from the soil through the roots, up through the heart of the stem of the flower to give forth radiant color so that everyone that looks upon it is touched by the mystery of beauty. And God wonders, well, it's interesting. These roses that I've created seem to have a mind of their own.
As the elixir I tried to give them rises through the stems, they tie themselves in little knots and only a little bit of the elixir reaches out. And so the petals never quite blossom fully. This line gets me. Have you ever had that feeling that you're putting more energy into staying constricted than you are into allowing expansion? It's just so good. Have you ever had that feeling that you're putting more energy into staying constricted than you are into allowing expansion?
And so the title of this episode is allowing expansion. So one of the threads that kind of prompted me reading that is desire and making peace with whatever desires you have. Because a lot of us are not really taught to like really lean into and trust what we want. And so then we get into business or we become entrepreneurs, or we're trying to consciously create our life. Some people who listen to this podcast aren't necessarily entrepreneurs.
And so I've been thinking about how I can bridge some of the concepts to people who aren't entrepreneurs, but also like include entrepreneurs. And this is one of those things, allowing expansion, conscious creation. And so often we stifle our own desires because we're worried that it's going to make us bad or greedy or selfish. And one of the concepts that I was sharing with one of my mastermind clients was that desire helps you actually be an answer to prayer.
And so that was the golden thread was desire and really allowing yourself to get comfortable and even intimate with what you really want. I know for me at the beginning of my business, it felt like such a foreign experience to just really like sit with myself and be like, what do I want? What do I really, really want?
And what's interesting about this is we're so afraid of being greedy and selfish, but like based on what I just said, if we think about it this way, that like what if my little thread of desire, like when I pull on that golden thread, it ends up taking me to a place where like I am an answer to someone's prayers. And so that was kind of the conversation that I was having. And in different facets, like I've been having this conversation with a lot of my clients, like what do you want?
Because a lot of my clients are in an interesting place. Like some of the things that they used to want, they're now experiencing. And so it's time to dream again. It's time to get clear about what they want. Or they're experiencing contrast. And contrast is always a great opportunity to think about what do you really want?
And so this last line from Way of Mastery, have you ever had that feeling that you're putting more energy into staying constricted than you are into allowing expansion? It's such a powerful question. It's really potent. And I've shared this question with a few clients and almost every time the way that I phrase it, it's like emotion rises up.
And you might have noticed that when I read that passage first, right? If God is the gardener and we are the roses, we tie ourselves into little knots to stop the elixir, which is like that golden thread of desire. And so we stop being all that we could be because we're worried about where our desire is going to lead, which is interesting because for most people, when I talk to my clients, what they want is good for the world.
Like it's good for the world. And this is where I started to develop this thought that really seems to resonate with people. Like, it's good for the world when I get what I want. Not in a conceited, selfish way. I call it aligned selfishness. It's an inclusive way. You don't exclude yourself from getting what you want in order to help other people get what they want. It's actually a co-creation. So you get what you want and other people get what they want.
And everyone is blessed because you went for what you wanted. So when I think of business as a way to answer people's prayers, and I know that can be like a weird statement, but I'll explain and kind of walk through what I'm thinking. If I want a successful, prosperous business, when I think about wanting that, and I pull the thread, the golden thread, where does this take me? Who do I become? Who gets impacted because I go for that?
Well, me first. I feel uplifted. I feel inspired. I feel grounded. I feel purposeful. I feel energetic and creative. So like that's the first thing that happens. When I pull on the thread of desire, my life gets better. As I build this business, as I step into entrepreneurship and use my spiritual gifts and all these things in the world. But step two is because I'm fulfilled and creative and abundant, and that's not even like a physical thing yet. It's just how I feel about my life.
Like I have more energy to pour into my family and I feel like a more whole version of me. So my family gets the best of me because I'm using all of my divine gifts to their fullest capacity.
I resent no one. I've taken radical responsibility for my life. I do the work, all the things that are required to be an entrepreneur. So now I'm fulfilled. My family's getting the best of me. Not only that, but business only operates in order to serve people, right? That's how businesses operate.
You're only profitable if you help enough people. And so in that context, right, my business only works long term if I'm genuinely making a difference in people's lives, if I'm genuinely creating value for people, if my service or my product actually benefits other people. And so in that way, when I go for what I want and I develop the beliefs and the skills and the humility and the leadership and the grit, right, the spiritual grit.
And I do the work, both the inner work and the outer work, to create results. So now I've benefited myself, my family, clients. And then the ripple effect, the carryover of all of that is like a podcast like this, serving people for free. It's good for the world when I get what I want. And it's almost like it kind of like you have to take a step back from that for a second. And then when you really contemplate it, you start to see that this is true. So I think about some of the books.
In fact, one of the books on my desk right now is A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. And let's say he's kind of a funny example because he doesn't have a lot of ego. But like, let's say in his heart of hearts, he wanted to be an author. So he wrote the book Power of Now and A New Earth. He's like, it would be so cool if I wrote a book that impacted millions of lives. There's the threat of desire. But that book changed my life.
So it was good for the world when Eckhart Tolle got what he wanted because it impacted me and millions of people like me. And so sometimes we're so afraid of being selfish that we constrict ourselves from what we really want because we're worried that our desire will somehow negatively impact other people. And most of the time we're like worried it's going to negatively impact our family.
And so when I coach people like this is one of the first places that I kind of like look is like what part of you is worried that getting what you want in business is going to hurt your family? Because if that part of you exists, you are going to slow down your business growth because you obviously care about your family more. And so this is the conundrum that many of my clients get into because they have this secret fear that their desires are going to hurt people.
And so one of the best things we can do is clean that thinking up and also really start to be a witness of how getting what you want makes the world better starting with your family. How is that true? And then part of that is addressing what you need to clean up. Maybe it's a hard conversation. Maybe it's boundaries. Maybe it's a better time schedule. I know for me phone usage is important. I don't want to be always on my phone with my kids around.
But with the nature of my work, it could. It is very compelling to check my phone. And so it's like that's not good for my family. But my business in general is good for my family. So there can be a level of mastery and a level of observation and being really honest with yourself. It's not that the business as a whole is bad for your family. It's like your phone habits are bad for your family. That's different. You going for your dreams, like maybe you're writing and publishing a book.
I have like a few clients doing that right now, which is so cool. Whether it's launching something, whether it's getting a certification, whether it's going to a business conference or joining a program or going to a live event or hiring a coach or whatever it is. We're so worried that it's going to hurt our family when really that's not what's going to hurt the family. There might be specific things that we can look at, but our desires aren't going to hurt.
What we really want is to be present for our family and our clients and ourselves. What we really want is a situation where everyone is impacted for good. And that is a possibility that you can create. I feel like that's what I've seen my clients do is get very specific about their desires and allow the expansion to unfold in a very aligned way for themselves, for them, for their family, for their clients. And this isn't art because you're an evolving being.
Growth and evolution are nonstop. And so what you want evolves with you. And so that's why you have to revisit this conversation over and over again. What worked two years ago probably doesn't work for you today. Different family season, different work energy, different time that you can work, different clients, different understanding. Some people want to work more. Some people listening to this want to work less.
Some people listening to this need to raise their prices. Some people need to launch a group. Some people need to figure out who their ideal buyer is. I can go on and on about the changes of your desires that will exist as an entrepreneur because it expands. Even your desires as a mother or a married person or a single person. Your desires change. And so it's not a one-time conversation.
In fact, I'm asking myself this question not just every day, but multiple times a day. And the way that I ask it is like, what would I love to create? Or what would I love to experience next? That's how I allow expansion. If all things are possible, what would I love? Because not very many people are comfortable really tuning into what they want, which limits expansion. And so the title of this episode, Allowing Expansion, like it is already built into you.
You don't have to try to want expansion. You already want it. Growth and expansion are inevitable parts of your life. The thing is, is we can limit it with our thinking, with our worry, with our fear, with our doubt, which is why the inner work is so important, which is why I always tell my life coaching clients who are life coaches, it's like, yeah.
There's a huge demand for what you do because people are navigating this on every level, spiritually, financially, relationships, mental work, performance, sports, mindset, career, business, entrepreneurship, marriage, parenting, like you name it. People are expanding, but they are limiting themselves, right? They aren't allowing their own expansion, which that resistance causes depression, anxiety, angst, worry, doubt, comparison, despair.
And so learning how to allow expansion, I think is one of the greatest gifts that we can offer as coaches. If you're a coach listening to this, it's also why I get my own coaching and why I offer coaching because I see the value of it. It's like that passage, right? Have you ever had the feeling that you're putting more energy into staying constricted than you are into allowing expansion?
And so when I think about this in the context of growing a business, that feeling of wanting to raise your prices or wanting to launch something, how quickly, it's kind of like what we talked about a few episodes ago about the second voice, right? The first voice is the desire. The second voice is the doubt and the worry. And so which voice are you tuning into? Allowing expansion is like really listening to that first voice.
When you ask yourself, if all things are possible, what would I love? What are the first images or thoughts that come to mind? And can you hold the vision without letting doubt overshadow it or taint it? That's the work. Because the thing is, is the more expansion you experience, the more expansion you experience. And sometimes that feels out of control for people or they start to have new fears. Like, what if I get too big? What if people don't understand?
What if people leave? What if I outgrow someone I love? Some really tough questions start to arise and it will be tempting to constrict and it will be tempting to tie yourself in that little knot and stop allowing desire. But that's where we start to feel resentful. That's where the negative emotions start to come in because it's not how we're divinely made. We are made to experience expansion and to allow expansion.
And so anytime you limit it, whether it's because you're trying to control something, whether you're trying to make something predictable or you're trying to keep things the same, when we try to keep things the same, we are constricting. We are not allowing expansion. I'm not saying you have to change all your values. Your values can carry through.
But allowing expansion is an inevitable process for people, especially if you're drawn to a podcast like this, where growth is a top priority for you and a huge value. You just wouldn't listen to a podcast like this if it wasn't. And so you have a choice. Even right now, you have a choice.
Are you going to allow expansion or are you going to limit yourself?
And when I look through my journey as an entrepreneur, what I love about entrepreneur is it's a beautiful vehicle for expansion. But so is parenting. So is marriage. So is spiritual development, sports or art. There's many beautiful vehicles for expansion. And one of the things that I love about business expansion is I look at the times that I invested in myself and that was me allowing expansion.
And I wouldn't have had the words the first few times that I invested, whether that was in a mastermind or a coaching experience or a business conference or whatever. Of course, there's so many things. But what I saw, it was like a portal where I could enter it and my expansion was going to be held and fostered and supported and encouraged.
And I think about the work that I do with my clients, and I know that's one of the valuable things that we do together is like I hold a portal for them to allow expansion. Because we are who we calibrate to, right? So one of the frustrating things sometimes is if you're surrounded by people who are not allowing expansion and they are constricting, they have doubts, they have stories, they have fears that are very loud and you don't need to judge them or change them.
But it's just something to become aware of, of like, who are you calibrating to for yourself? You don't have to make those other people wrong. But for your own growth and development, are you calibrating to people who are allowing expansion or who are tying themselves up in knots? And what's interesting about this is if you want to help people not tie themselves up in knots, the best thing you can do is to allow your own expansion. It is not to go try to untwist their knots.
We don't try to save people. That's not our role. Our role is to hold the frequency and the energy that we want to stand for, and people will calibrate to us or not. But they don't need your fixing and saving, right? It's like you joining them in that constriction energy versus allowing expansion and asking them, not specifically like, hello, will you join me in expansion? That's not what I mean. But like by allowing your own expansion, you model something for them to desire and you model how it could be.
And it's their choice if they do it or not. This could be clients, this could be loved ones, this could be family, this could be friends, it doesn't really matter. But what I've seen is like the people who want to calibrate to me do. And when I want to calibrate to people, I do. And it's a natural progression. It doesn't feel sticky. It doesn't feel hard. It doesn't feel like force. It feels like power, which is, you know, a nod to the book Power Versus Force by David Hawkins. Great book.
Because I'm interested in conversation about power and allowing expansion is power. But we can't force people. I'm going to force you to allow your expansion. Like that doesn't make sense. Right. So when you look around in your life, because that first passage about the rose garden, if God is the gardener and we're all roses and you notice people in your life, the roses in your life that are tied up in knots, it can be so tempting to make them wrong.
But I think the best question for you to ask yourself in that situation is like, where have you been tied up in knots? Like use it as a mirror, not as an opportunity to judge other people, but like to do your own work that's allowing expansion. This is hard stuff. This is the path of mastery. It's why the book is called The Way of Mastery. So notice where you are tied up in knots. Where can you allow more expansion in your own life?
Where can you allow desire and that golden thread to kind of lead you to what's next instead of resisting it? So some of the easy spots that I can see is like launching the business for a lot of people. That's a very difficult transition from going from not having a business to having a business. You're tied up in knots because you're afraid of what people will think. You're afraid of failing. You're afraid you're not going to get it right. You're afraid no one's going to hire you.
All the fears. Right. And so to untwist yourself in knots is to actually start the business. Once you have a business where we twist ourselves up in knots is like our pricing, who we work with, how people find us, our marketing, our sales process, our offer suite, how many hours a week we work, what kind of people we work with, whether we offer packages or not.
All these details kind of come out and we get stuck in knots when we try to control how people will perceive us and our decisions. And so part of the work is to stand for yourself, to really trust that your ideas are coming to you for a reason, that the vision came to you because you are the one meant to steward it. And you can trust that. That's allowing expansion. The vision came to you because you are the one meant to steward it. God wants to do that through you.
But so much of our work is our limiting thoughts, working through our fears, learning the energetics of conscious creation, learning to have our own back, learning to need nothing, to give ourselves the things that we think the world needs to give us, learning to trust our intuitions and the nudges, learning to move through failure without a loss of enthusiasm, right? Spiritual grit is something we develop.
Learning how to listen, learning how to co-create with clients in the marketplace, like all of these are skills. Many of these things are like emotional intelligence that you can develop. That's how we allow expansion. And so that was what was on my mind today. That was the golden thread. So hopefully this was helpful for you, you know, private clients listening.
I hope it was helpful and put pieces together from our conversation. For those of you who this is the first time you've heard this conversation, like I hope it was helpful for you too. I'm going to close this episode just with that passage one more time and just like notice how it lands for you. It's so good. So you could say that God is like a wise gardener who is constantly trying to grow beautiful roses. He knows exactly how much moisture to put in the soil.
He knows how to make those nutrients rise from the soil through the roots out through the heart of the stem of the flower to give forth radiant color so that everyone that looks upon it is touched by the mystery of beauty. And God wonders, well, it's interesting. These roses that I've created seem to have a mind of their own. As the elixir I tried to give them rises through the stems and the elixir is desire.
As the elixir I tried to give them rises through the stems, they tie themselves in little knots and only a little bit of the elixir reaches out and so the petals never quite blossom fully. Have you ever had that feeling that you're putting more energy into staying constricted than you are into allowing expansion? You are the rose and you have a choice to tie yourself up in little knots or to allow expansion. My hope and my prayer is you allow expansion. It's where all your power is.
It's what you're destined for. It's what you're made for. And it's how you are the biggest blessing to the world, to your family. It's how prosperity flows. It's how things work in harmony. It's how we operate, I think, at a higher level in humanity. And so I hope this helps. If it does, if it resonated for you, I'd love to hear from you. And if not, that's okay. But I want you to ponder it. At least contemplate what this could mean for you. Okay, I'll talk to you soon. Bye.
