Hello and welcome back to Abundant Heart. Really excited to be with you. As always, we are here to talk about working more aligned, cultivating an abundance mindset, and doing work that matters. And I'm really excited for today. We're going to talk about lightning bolt alignment. So if you are a longtime listener, you know, a few months ago, actually last November, I released an episode called lightning bolt clarity. And it was a hit with you guys, which was really fun to hear that feedback.
But I had this experience where like, I drove up to the mountains, I journaled, I meditated, I had been kind of simmering on some decisions that I needed to make for my business. And I had like a lightning bolt clarity moment, right? Where it was like, instant clarity, especially because I had been in seasons of confusion, and kind of felt like stagnation, right? Like I knew I needed to do something, I just didn't know what to do, or like how to decide.
And so when I went up to those mountains and created space to have a lightning bolt clarity moment, it was huge for me, I unlocked a ton of energy, I made a lot of decisions in a short period of time. That's where I got the idea for lighthouse mentorship, which is now running for abundance mastermind, which is now full and running. And so lots of cool things happen from that moment in the mountains. And I really like lightning bolt. I think it represents a lot of things to me. But when I use the lightning bolt, like if you follow me on Instagram, I use it a lot in my captions or when I'm typing, because it's like an alignment symbol for me.
And it is like, energy, alignment, frequency, like in tune, right? And so I liked that I called it the lightning bolt clarity, but I have been in a new season, right? That was in November, it's now February, almost March. And so I've been thinking through, you know, what's next, which is the most amazing game ever, right? That's life, it's continuous expansion. And so I've been sitting on new ideas and new possibilities. And I'm writing my new book and lots of fun things happening in my personal life.
And I'm doing amazing work with clients, like it's just a really fun time in my business. And the work really never stops where you're getting clear about what you want next. And so today is going to be called lightning bolt alignment, because alignment has been on my mind. And that same feeling of like instant lightning bolt clarity, lightning bolt alignment is available. Before I jump into what I've prepared for lightning bolt alignment, I'm going to read something that will go right along with what we're talking about today. It's from the Creative Act by Rick Rubin, when it's his chapter called surrounding the lightning bolt.
He says, an explosion of information arrives in inspired moments. How can we avoid becoming fixated on these bolts of lightning? Some artists live as storm chasers awaiting spontaneous strikes longing for the thrill. A more constructive strategy is to focus less on the lightning bolt and more on the spaces surrounding it. The space before because lightning does not strike unless the right preconditions are met and the space after because the electricity dissipates if you do not capture it and use it.
When we are struck by an epiphany, our experience of what's possible has been expanded. In that instant, we are broken open. We've entered a new reality. Even when we leave that heightened state, the experience sometimes remains in us. Other times it's fleeting. If lightning should strike and this information is channeled through the ether to us, what follows is a great deal of practical work. While we can't command a lightning bolt's arrival, we can control the space around it.
We accomplish this by preparing beforehand and honoring our obligation to it afterward. If lightning doesn't strike, our work need not be delayed. Some storm chasers believe that inspiration precedes creation. This is not always the case. Working with lightning bolts is simply working. Like carpenters, we show up each day and do our job. Sculptors need clay, sweep the floor, and lock up for the night. Graphic designers sit at their workstations, select images, choose fonts, create layouts, and hit save. Artists are ultimately craftspeople.
Sometimes our ideas come through bolts of lightning. Other times, only through effort, experiment, and craft. As we work, we may notice connections and become surprised by the wonder of what's revealed through the doing itself. In a way, these small aha moments are also bolts of lightning. Less vivid, they still illuminate our way. So when I recorded the episode about lightning bolt clarity, I love that passage, by the way. If you haven't read The Creative Act by Rick Rubin, please read it. It's so good. But when I recorded the lightning bolt clarity episode, it really was like a strike of lightning.
But what I'm going to talk about today is more like what he was talking about at the end of that passage, where it's like, I've found it in doing the work. And we're going to talk about work, not just like, you know, recording this podcast and writing my emails and showing up to client calls, but also like the belief work, the work of a coach and creator. And I think that's important to be said, because I can see how it can be misleading that you like need to wait for a lightning bolt to strike to feel aligned, or to do your work.
And that is definitely not my message. Now, I teach a lot of spiritual success principles and universal laws in my work. But I also teach like aligned action, and doing the work and experimenting and failing. It's all part of it. And so I really liked his message of like, the space around the lightning bolt also matters. And so I want you to keep that in mind as we begin talking about these concepts of lightning bolt alignment. And for me, if I had to define alignment, a lot of my, I guess, understanding about alignment came from Abraham Hicks.
But also people like Deepak Chopra, and Frederick Dodson, and David R. Hawkins, who wrote Power Versus Force, which all of those sources are huge inspirations for today's episode. So I wanted to mention them. Because alignment, it's like, what does that mean? Right? So to me, my definition of alignment is like, I am aligned with my highest self, my highest vision of myself, and what I'm capable of. And in that vision, it's like a waterfall of impact that supports other people, right? So alignment is good for me, but it's also good for you and good for us.
Alignment is the path of least resistance. We'll talk about that today a lot. Alignment is doing it my way, the way that feels best to me and works best for my energy, and my personality, and my vision of success. And so alignment is very personal. It is not cookie cutter. What feels aligned to me doesn't necessarily mean it's going to be aligned for you. But I want to talk about principles today that you can decipher and discern for yourself what is aligned for you so that you can have that lightning bolt alignment in your business, in your life.
So the first distinction that we're going to talk about is force versus flow. And I think about this all the time because sometimes the work needs doing. But the way that we do the work, I try to notice when I'm forcing something versus when I'm in alignment and flowing, right? Flow feels easy. It feels like I know what to do next. Force is like, either I'm very bored or I'm discontent or I'm frustrated. Another way that we can force things is like we do it because someone told us to do it, but it doesn't feel good to us.
And so one of the examples that I was going to share is in the beginning of my business, I was, you know, like many people, very excited to get to work, very excited when I would send a client, very excited when I would have a payment come through or whatever. And I remember this one client that was on a consult with me. It felt like force to talk to her. And this isn't anything against her at all. It just felt like it was off and the conversation didn't flow. And it felt like we weren't vibing. And I still felt like I need to force the sale because I had the opportunity to do so. She had booked a consult, right? Like I was hungry for clients.
And I struggled through the consult. I ended up talking about one-on-one. She ended up saying yes. And for six months, it was a very difficult relationship for me. And I learned a lot about force versus flow and to take a look at stuff deeper when things feel like force. And so sometimes when I'm coaching clients and an offer starts to feel forced, it's time to take a look. When something feels heavy or almost like friction, it's time to take a look a little deeper because there's probably decisions that we can make to either clean it up, make it easier, make it more aligned. And what's interesting about this is it's very personal, right?
I've seen people kind of put down offers even if they are profitable because it stopped feeling aligned for them. And from the outside, it's like, why are you turning off a super successful business model, right? But the work of alignment is less about external success and much, much more about how you feel about the work and how you feel about getting paid for that work. And so I think it's important to become very aware of how you feel about your offers, about your pricing, about your ideal client, about the way that you market, the way that you create content.
I can't even tell you how many times I've helped people and I can tell it's more aligned when they feel a sense of relief about the plan going forward. And this is, like I said, very personal. So as an example, I have a weekly podcast and that feels really good to me. It comes out, as you know, every Friday. But I've coached people where it's like, maybe they don't want a weekly podcast. Maybe they want seasons, right, where they show up for their podcast and they stop showing up. I've coached people who want a monthly episode. I've also coached people who want an episode that comes out whenever they create it.
And sometimes that's two or three times a week and other times it's nothing. Other clients really align with like a weekly drop because that's what feels good to them. That's just one little example of force versus flow. It's like, yes, could my clients force themselves to create a weekly podcast? Sure, they could. They will burn out and they will hate it, right? Versus like aligning up with what they really want, whether that's having a seasonal podcast, whether that's having a random drop podcast, or maybe it is creating systems to create a weekly podcast.
There's no right answer. And I think that's what's really hard. And that's why you have to check in with yourself about what you want and what you want to create, the process that you want to create it with, and the results that you want. So when I am in force, right, I can feel it in my body. There's like a tightness. There's a heaviness. It feels like I have to do it. I clench my jaw. I feel like a victim to the task. And this is what's interesting. What I love about this work is like there's some things like what Rick Ribbon was saying in that passage of, you know, surrounding the lightning bolt. Some work just has to be done, right?
He's talking about like the person who's like an artist that has to sweep the floor and lock the door at night. When you run an online business, it's like, yeah, I have to pay taxes, and I have to have, you know, software that I pay for. There's calls that I have to show up to with my support team. I have to upload the video sometimes, right? Like there's things that maybe you don't like, but it's just part of the process. And what I like to do is back up, find aligned thoughts and feelings, and then do the work that's my preferred. So that could be like going on a walk.
It could be listening to a podcast while I do something that I consider boring. It could be I have a walking treadmill that I really like. Sometimes I get a lot of work done while I walk. Anything to get me feeling better before I jump into the work. The other thing that I like to do is get rid of work that doesn't feel like flow if I can, right? Whether I delegate it or I eliminate it. And one of the stories that I have probably shared on this podcast, I don't know so much detail, but I ran a program in 2021 called ProCoach.
Some of you listening are long-term OG clients and you're a part of ProCoach, which is awesome. ProCoach doesn't exist anymore. It turned into the Conscious Coach Academy, which is a course that I open for enrollment once a year. But when it was ProCoach, I used to do live weekly calls. And at the time, and this is actually leading into our next distinction, which is what feels good versus what I think I should do or what other people have told me to do.
So when I launched ProCoach, what was common in the industry was a lifetime program with weekly coaching. And so I just did that because that's what I believed I had to do to start scaling my business. And I liked it in the beginning. And then because I'm me, I started to get bored of the weekly calls being the same type of calls every week. I wanted to talk about new things, what I was learning. I wanted to be on the leading edge of personal development, my own personal development, my own business development. And ProCoach started to feel like I was getting boxed in. It stopped feeling good.
But I also felt trapped because I had made these promises of a lifetime program. And looking around in my industry, my coach at the time had a lifetime program. The mentors that I followed online, they all had lifetime programs. I was like, what do I do? And I started studying more spiritual type content, more alignment-based content, more universal laws. And I started really noticing what felt good to me. And what felt good to me was more of a live program where I would teach and coach based on the leading edge of what I was learning.
And once I had that idea, I was like, oh, my gosh, I need to make some changes. And it was uncomfortable because I felt a little stuck. But lightning bolt alignment, I decided powerfully to make it a live program. I turned it into what was called The Matrix, or actually the first iteration I think was called The Coaching Matrix, where it was a live program where I would teach and coach live. I retired ProCoach. I grandfathered all the ProCoach members into the new thing. And then I ran The Matrix for a few years. And I retired The Matrix last year.
And now I run The Lighthouse Mentorship. And this series of changes came because I'm following my alignment. I am not following what other people do. And this has been a hard lesson for me to learn. And it's why I coach my clients the way that I do, because when you make a decision based on what other people are doing, you miss a lot of what your own wisdom might be sharing. Now, I think it's a co-creation, right? What I like to teach and what I look for in coaches and mentors is the true principle, right, of something.
When we have the true principles, then you can make aligned decisions that work for you and your human design and the way that you think about the world and your personality and your life situation and how many hours you have to work. Because that was what was out of alignment. It's like I was not ready to have a team that was scaling a business. ProCoach was too early in my business adventure, my business journey, because it was a good idea. But what I really needed to do was buckle down on what worked for me at the time, which was teaching live, as an example. Not that ProCoach was bad. I actually learned so much. I loved that program.
And it needed to change. And so I think the distinction between what feels good to you versus what you think you should do or what someone else told you to do, it's a lesson that I've had to learn a few times because I've done what the industry standard was. And then I hated it later and I got mad at myself because I should have asked myself harder questions. I should have really checked in, like, is this in alignment for what I want? And sometimes the only way to know if it's in alignment is by experimenting with it and failing and not getting the result you wanted.
And then you can change, right? Contrast creates a lot of clarity. And when you have contrast and clarity, you can find your way to alignment. OK, the third distinction that I wanted to share was timeline versus timing. And this distinction has changed so much for me and my clients because most of the work, and I put the work in quotes that you cannot see because you're listening to this, the work really is believing in the right timing. I've watched many of my clients want something and then not get it for months sometimes.
And then there's this moment where they finally, they either needed to learn or their energy needed to shift or something in their life circumstances had to shift to be prepared to receive what they wanted. And now the timing is right and it easily comes into their experience. I've seen that many, many times in my own life and in my work with clients. The hard part about that is that our egos love to come up with our own timeline, our own agenda when we think it should work instead of getting into the energy of receiving so that the timing can work.
So kind of aligned with force and flow, right? Timing feels like flow. Force and your agenda go hand in hand, right? A lot of times we're trying to force an agenda on our business or our clients or our team that isn't right yet. And that's the hardest part of this work is like, there is a time to surrender. There is a time to let go. Sometimes when you're forcing something and you have a timeline in your mind, and I've heard it many different ways. Sometimes it's like, I should be at 100K. I've been in business for two years. I should have crossed the six figure mark.
That's an indicator to me when I'm coaching that they are stuck in timeline and I want to help them believe in timing because it'll work better with less hiccups, with less frustrations. When you try to force something, it can be very exhausting, especially when we come up with random timelines. It's so funny because if you ask yourself, why did you pick six months to hit 100K? It's like, I don't know. That's what everyone else does. It's like, ah, that probably isn't aligned then.
We want to meaningful milestones instead of standardized goals. I write about that in Quiet Wealth because meaningful milestones will actually be energetically available to you versus standardized goals. That's when you're going to feel like you have to force something or that something's not working because you're comparing yourself to other people. And creation is a very personal game. Expansion, manifestation, whatever word you want to use. I like the word creation is very personal. You have to block out what other people are doing because you will get distracted with their timeline.
You're watching your peer who maybe you started at the same time. They're hitting 10K months and you're like, wait, what am I doing wrong? It's like, no, that's their timeline. The more obsessed you are with their timeline, you're going to lose sight of your timing. The way that I've always created clients in a way that feels easy, in a way that feels good, in a way that feels empowered is trusting their timing. And I think that is a skill that you can develop. It is not something random that exists outside of you. You can learn like anything.
You can learn how to trust the timing of other people in the universe. And I really believe that. And this is where you learn to enjoy the process instead of trying to force things to happen. Whenever I notice that I'm trying to force something or force a timeline, I am usually out of alignment with my highest self, with God, with trusting the universe, however you want to think about it. And so the work is to slow down, realize that I'm forcing it, let go of my agenda, let go of my timeline.
Usually like even just that act of slowing down, the next step presents itself more easily. Like I see the next thing I need to do and it doesn't feel like force. It feels like fun or it feels like easy. The next distinction that I want to talk about is effortless versus efforting. I can tell my clients are in alignment when their actions feel effortless. Effortless does not mean no effort. It means effortless. There's less effort. It feels like flow. If we study flow psychology, which I love, if you haven't read the book Flow, you should. Or study high performance. One of my favorite books to refer is The Art of Impossible by Stephen Kotler.
Flow psychology is about like how do you actually take effort that feels easy. Because when you learn something new, it's not going to feel easy. Mastery is about sticking with something, believing it'll work, right? A lot of this is belief work too, until it works effortlessly. So sometimes I'll have a client who, you know, in my groups where it's like they're brand new to business, they're trying to post on social media. And every post takes them so long, they're like, I don't know how I can do this. And I was like, well, the more you post, the easier it'll get.
The more you write emails, the easier it'll get. The more you pitch yourself, the easier it'll get. The more you do sales calls, the easier it will get, right? Because we are looking for the path of least resistance. Now, in the beginning, when you're new at something, you're going to bump into the newness, right? It's not going to feel like the path of least resistance. That doesn't mean it's wrong. And so effortless is relative. I'm going to say that again. The feeling of effortless is relative to your journey. When I first started online, writing a blog post, publishing an email, setting up an email automation, consult calls, all of those things felt very difficult to me.
But I didn't make myself wrong because I was like, I'm brand new in business. Of course, it's going to be harder. But I had the belief that one, I could learn this business is just a stack of learnable skills. Two, if I don't quit, I will figure it out. Three, I'm a capable person. If other people have learned this, so can I. And so I stuck with it. And now all of those things, email automations, sales pages, consult calls, sales calls, launching groups, you know, recording a podcast, all of it feels effortless. But it's not because it was in my DNA.
I did the work, both the outer work and the inner work, to make it effortless. Now, I think being aware of what feels effortful and effortless is a skill and an awareness. I also think there's another way of thinking about this because some things are going to feel heavy. That was kind of like what Rick Rubin was talking about in his book, right? Some things aren't going to feel amazing. If you've never set up an email automation, it's going to take some time unless you hire it out, right, to figure out how to do it.
It's going to time this, you know, to figure out how to set up your Stripe account and how to pay taxes and who to hire when and how to pay yourself and like all these things that you learn over time, they might not feel easy in the beginning, but they will get easier. That's what we're looking for. The second, I guess, distinction for effortless versus effortful is probably more what I want to talk about, which is when it's not new, right? When you have learned things. When I'm working with a client who has been in business for years, they're past a lot of things because they've learned the skills, right? They're not new.
So when things feel like they are efforting, I'm looking for ways that we can make it effortless. I'll give you an example. I actually wrote this in an email. One of my clients, she's working on scaling her business and she's not new. So when she feels effortful, I know it's because it's out of alignment for her. It's not that she can't sign one-on-one clients. It's that what we discovered on our call is that one-on-one clients were probably out of alignment for her. She wanted less calls on her calendar.
When a client is trying to sell something and it just feels like they're banging their head against the wall, there's something that we can shift so that it feels more effortless. That's about alignment. And so for me and my story, I used to really love studying funnels. I love studying Russell Brunson and I love studying online business and upsells and stuff. And it was a great education for me. I learned a lot about online business. But over time, as I got exposed to new ways of doing business, I realized the word funnel or like the word upsell started to feel effortful to me, like to think about how to create a funnel.
And I realized like it's not that I'm not grateful for my background in online business and all the things that I learned from building funnels or whatever. And I don't even think they're bad. It's just it wasn't quite aligned for me. And so I started letting that language go. I started using words like being a lighthouse. I started using words that resonated more like marketing principles versus strategies that you have to do. Right. I don't believe in anything that you have to do. I believe in marketing principles. And so over time, my language changed. And also, like, obviously, my results have changed drastically.
Like my business works so much better now than it used to because I found an aligned path that works for me. And so when we're talking about effortless versus efforting, action is required. Like you have to do the work, but there's a energy that you bring to the work that I think is very telling about how aligned you are. If you always feel like it's very heavy and hard, it doesn't have to be that way. And that might be hard for some of you to hear, especially people who have a little bit of workaholism or get a lot of your value from working hard.
What I'm sharing might be very challenging to your brain. You might even be tempted to, like, say, screw you, Amber. Right. This is what it takes. And you can keep that thought. You can keep that experience if you want. I'm just offering like there might be a reality where it works easier. Would you be interested in creating that? And if you are, that's where the real work begins. It's letting go of stories about your worthiness coming from hard work.
It's letting go of stories about your value as a human being coming from hard work that you deserve money because you worked really hard for it. That is one story, but it is not the ultimate story. It's not always true. And so effortless is a scary word for people who tie a lot of their value to work. And like I said, this isn't even about not working. I do work, but it feels different. I don't feel like I'm burning and gritting my teeth and grinding. I feel excited. I feel joyful. I enjoy recording this podcast. Are there things I don't love?
Yeah. And I find a way to get through it pretty easily without resistance. And that's how I know I'm in alignment. And so just notice, is your action effortless or do you feel like you are constantly efforting? There probably can be some switching of stories about where you get your value from, what it takes to create clients and create money and success. And also just where are the values that we put on hard work? I'm not even saying don't work hard.
Hopefully you hear that. I believe in hard work, but the experience of the hard work doesn't have to feel draining or exhausting or bad. Hard work can feel amazing. And that's alignment. The next distinction is gratitude for versus entitled to. This is a little bit of a spicy one because I coach people on entitlement sometimes. And what's interesting about this is like, I still feel like I am entitled to nothing. I have recorded hundreds of episodes. I have written hundreds and hundreds of emails. I have posted thousands of times on social media, and I still don't feel entitled to anything. I think there's a success secret here.
The people that I love working with don't feel entitled to anything. Like my mentors and coaches, if I sense entitlement, I don't like working with them, which is probably true about my clients too. Like if there was a sense of entitlement, like you should be paying me or I should be at this level, it changes how people interact with you. And so part of the work is staying in a state of gratitude by appreciating your present moment. You can scroll back. I recorded an episode. It was another one that landed for a lot of people called present moment abundance.
By appreciating every client, by appreciating your workload, by appreciating every dollar that comes into your bank account, by appreciating your current home, your current workstation, your current client roster, when you live in a state of gratitude, entitlement cannot exist. Entitlement is like you owe me something. Gratitude is like I'm so grateful for this. No one owes me anything. I'm just happy to be here. And this is something that you can train your mind to perceive. We are creators of our perception of reality.
So no matter how successful or not you are right now, there are things you can be grateful for. And the more that you train your mind to see the abundance of the present moment, you will carry yourself in a spirit of gratitude throughout the day. And that is magnetic. I think of how many people feel entitled because they've done a certain amount of work. But in entrepreneurship, we don't get paid for the amount of work that we do. We get paid for the amount of value that we create. And so it is an unlearning of being taught that hard work creates success. And like, you got to put in the hours. And like, sometimes that's true.
And you aren't entitled to anything. Right. I know entrepreneurs that work very hard that I'm more successful than. And I don't say that in like a cocky way. It's just like, I know it's not my hard work that people are paying for. They're paying for the value that I bring to them and create for them and with them. And so you have to retrain your brain that it's not the hours, it's not how much you clock in, because that's not actually what entrepreneurship gets rewarded for. And so I think anytime you feel entitlement, you are out of alignment. I know that's spicy.
But if you've ever caught yourself thinking or saying things like, well, I've done so many posts, I've launched so many times, I have had so many conversations, I have published so many episodes or blog posts, or I have done so many calls to action, or like, I have taken so many courses, I have paid this much for coaching, I have joined these kinds of programs, it should be working. That's entitlement. And I know that that's spicy, but we are not entitled to anything.
We're not. This is something that I catch in myself, I catch in other people, because it can poison all the action that you take, and all the value that you add if you have any energy of entitlement. And so eliminate it from your experience, in your energy. We're not entitled to anything. We are here to serve, we are here to be a resource. And we have the coolest opportunity in the world to build a career that matters, where your work impacts people, where you get paid well for it, where you work on the hours that you choose.
Like, I love that most of my clients work 20 to 30 hours a week, I think it's so cool. And they make more than they would have if they didn't start a business, right? Or more than their partner. Or for me, it's like, if I were to become a therapist, I make like four times what I would have made it, or more, I don't even know, at least four times more than I would have as a therapist, which is wild to me. But I still don't feel entitled to anything. Every sales call, every email that is inviting people into my world, like, I don't feel entitled to anyone buying.
I believe in a value exchange, I believe in abundance, I believe that money can come easily, but I don't feel entitled to anyone paying me. And so I think that that's a skill to develop is like, how do you hold amazing thoughts about money without feeling entitled to it? How do you hold amazing thoughts about clients signing with you without feeling entitled to it? My approach has been gratitude. I'm grateful for every chance I get to have a call with my client. I'm grateful for my audience of listeners right now, right? I'm grateful for you.
I'm grateful for everyone who opens my email. I'm grateful for everyone who buys my book. Like, I actively practice gratitude. That's like the antidote to any entitlement. The next distinction is consumption versus creation. I think alignment means that you are creating, not just consuming. Now, this is what's interesting. Consuming can be a part of creating. I get a lot of inspiration, as you guys know, from books. I read a book today on this episode. I listen to podcasts. I listen to YouTube videos, and I buy courses, and I buy mentorship.
I like audio trainings, but there's a balance that I think a lot of people don't notice, that they are over-consuming content and under-creating value, where it feels bad. And the example that I give most of my clients is like eating, right? Actually, I was talking about this in Lighthouse. So if you're in Lighthouse, this will be a little bit of a review for you, but I likened it to eating healthy, right? Like, even if you eat healthy, let's say you made salmon and asparagus, right? And you ate 30 packages of salmon and 30 cups of green beans, even if it's really good for you, you would still get sick.
And so even if the content that you're listening to is uplifting and positive and useful and educational, there's an amount that is still unhealthy. And so I think lightning bolt alignment is about noticing how you feel when you consume content and how much content is right for you. One of the resets that I like to offer people is that go a week without listening to anyone else's voice, even me, right? You can turn this off right now and start your little podcast fast. Go a week without getting on social media. Go a week without reading a book.
And then you could extend it. Go 30 days without reading a book. Go 30 days without joining a new course. Go 30 days without listening to an audiobook and see what happens. Because a lot of times we are out of alignment because we are consuming too much. And it makes us like, if you think about like human metabolism, right? Sick, because it's just too much information. And so you probably need more integration and less information. You need to create more and consume less. And like I said, it's not that consuming isn't a piece of creating, right?
All artists follow other artists. All creators follow other creators. All writers follow other writers. And there's a balance. And so just notice, are you in balance or in harmony with who you want to be in the world? I don't want to die and be like, yep, I read thousands of books. I know a lot of stuff. I like to imagine God being like, and what did you do with it? What did you create with all that information? And that's like a spicy question. But I think about that scenario, even if it'll never be real, it helps me realize I am a steward of the information that I learn. If I only consume and I don't teach it, I don't use it. I'm not being a good steward of that information.
And I say that with a lot of love in my heart, because this is something I struggle with and have struggled with. And so writing my first book really taught me like how much I have the capacity to create. You have a high capacity to create if you give yourself the space to create. So this means blocking out time to write, blocking out time to record and publish the podcast, blocking out time to write a blog post, be a creator, go clean your kitchen, go organize your office, go on a walk and create your body, go spend time with your loved ones, create memories with your kids, go on a date night, play a game, decorate your house different, like do something creative.
It'll feel better. It'll soothe your soul. That's for me too. But lightning bolt alignment to me is I am a creator, not just a consumer. The last distinction that I'm going to share that I think will be resonant for many of you is belief work versus buffering with work. And this is something that I think especially online business is prone to because a lot of times like there's just nothing left to do. I mean, you could post more, you could write more, but maybe you've already done that today. And then there's things that you could be doing that feel difficult. The thing that I like to teach my clients is what I call or refer to as belief work, right?
Which is like the mindset to stuff, believing on purpose, getting into alignment, lining up my thoughts and the way that I speak with the things that I'm creating. Belief work happens when I'm doing the dishes, when I'm on a walk, when I'm picking up the kids from school. Belief work is noticing my thoughts and actively choosing better feeling thoughts. And I do that all day long and it's not exhausting. It's fun, right? It might sound exhausting, but belief work is about consciously choosing thoughts on purpose. That is different than buffering with work. Buffering with work is I have to have our conversation.
I'm gonna scroll Instagram and I'm going to call it working. Buffering with work is listening to a podcast instead of writing a sales email. So you can use work as a buffering from what you really need to do. And that is out of alignment for most people. And so I know that I'm buffering with work if it's not creative. And sometimes what we really need to do is get out a piece of paper and journal about our thoughts, write down the things that we want, write down the thoughts that are stopping us from getting it and doing like actual self-coaching or getting coached by your coach where you are doing the deep mindset work to change your beliefs.
Sometimes buffering with work can be downloading another course and just consuming. It could be scrolling social media. It could be reading another book. Only you can know. And that's why I say that with a lot of tenderness, but also I know it's a little spicy. You have to be in tune with yourself and check in. Is this buffering with work or is this belief work? Am I buffering with another podcast or is this helping me believe in what I'm trying to create or giving me new perspective and tools and skills to create what I want? When I buffer with work, it usually feels like I'm moving in a circle. Like what did I get done today? Oh, I was buffering with work.
There was no clear creation. It might have been listening to a course or like scrolling on social. A lot of times it's passive, right? And like I said, only you can know. But I think being in tune with yourself and choosing to do belief work will enhance your experience of business. I have this quote that I like. I posted on social media. You move differently when you believe it's working. The way that you post, the way that you carry yourself, the way that you pick up your kids from school, the way that you tuck yourself in at night, the way that you go on a walk changes when you believe that your dreams and everything is working for you. That is work.
Belief work is work. I have clients that like have their own processes. Some of them have journaling sessions or they do meditations or they have like reminders that go off on their phone. We do coaching on belief work in our sessions. But belief work is an awareness of what you're currently thinking and expecting and actively choosing thoughts on purpose that line up with it working. That you are choosing on purpose to believe that clients are coming, that things are happening, that people are reaching out to you, that money is coming to you easily or any number of beliefs. But you're doing the work to change the way that you think.
I think it's the most important work you can do. When we believe it's working, everything flows effortlessly. And I would say belief work helps all of everything that we talked about today work better. When you believe that people want to work with you, you write different emails. When you believe that people want to work with you, you show up differently on social media and you show up differently than you probably would if you had serious doubts about it working. And so I think a huge advantage that I have is like I believe really big. I tell my clients that I believe really big for people. And I have done this work over time.
Once I learned thought work and belief work, it was like this is it. Because when I believe it's working, I follow through on the actions that I know will lead me to where I want to go. When I feel bad, I usually know it's a belief issue. I'm believing it's not working. I'm believing it has to be hard. I'm believing that no one cares. And I can change my experience right now based on my beliefs. And so alignment is belief work. So to recap everything that we talked about today, force versus flow. I know I'm in alignment when I feel like I'm in flow. Things are flowing. It's easier. I'm not pushing against something. Feels like something's coming from me. Timeline versus timing.
I know that I'm in alignment when I'm caring about the timing and I'm not obsessed with my own agenda or timeline. What feels good versus what I think I should do or what other people told me to do. I know I'm in alignment when I'm following what feels good to me, what I believe will work for me. Sometimes it's like, well, if I just do what felt good, I would sit on the couch all day. And I would say that's not true because there would come a time that you would be tired of sitting on the couch and it wouldn't feel good anymore. And so part of your work is telling yourself the truth. Sometimes what feels the best might be really scary.
I remember the first time I went live on social media, I was terrified. I was terrified. My hands were shaking. But I knew it's actually what felt best because what felt bad was avoiding it over and over and over again. Sometimes I'll have a client who wants to start a podcast or start a blog or start a YouTube channel or something that feels more visible. And what actually will feel good to them is publishing their first episode. What feels bad is procrastinating. And so that's what I mean by do what feels good, do what feels aligned to you instead of what other people think you should do, especially people who have not created what you want to create.
So sometimes I'll hear women especially where they have a husband who works in business or has business or has just worked in corporate for a long time and he'll give her advice. And it's not malintent, but it's like, has he created what you want to create? He doesn't think I should charge that much or he doesn't think I should email that much. And I'm like, okay, but has he created what you want to create? They're like, no. I'm like, okay, listen. So we have to discern the information that we're getting from people.
What other people think you should do may or may not be helpful, but what feels like the next best thing to your soul when you're like, I believe this is the next best step, I think that will lead to better results than, well, someone told me I should do this. Someone told me that I should be on Pinterest. I'm like, do you like Pinterest? No. Okay, well, probably not aligned for you. Oh, someone said that YouTube is the best growing platform. Do you want to be on YouTube? No. And so I think it's a constant checking in with like what feels right to you because there is no right way. There's lots of right ways. And so you get to meander and that might change, right?
Even if YouTube doesn't sound good today, it might sound good in five years, I don't know, or three months. But it's like really honoring yourself and having the discernment to know what feels like the next best thing because you're inspired, because you're excited, because you want to do it versus so-and-so told me I should. Just notice how you're talking about it. The next distinction we talked about is effortless versus efforting. We're looking for effortless action. We're looking for things that feel easy for us to do with the distinction that like new things are going to feel harder. That doesn't mean they're wrong. We're looking for ways to make it feel effortless.
And this is where thought work can come in where it's like I'm willing to figure this out. This is what I told myself when I started my podcast. I'm willing to figure this out. Other people have started a podcast that are probably dumber than me. It's kind of a funny thought, but it worked for me, right? Like I can figure this out. This is something that I can figure out. This is something that will get easier with time. This is something that I want to do. I'm excited to podcast. I want to be here. I would think those thoughts on purpose while I was learning the new skill.
And so when you're learning something new, it might take more time and it might be harder, but using thoughts on purpose will help you get through it. The next thing we talked about was gratitude for versus entitled to eliminate the feeling of entitlement. It's not useful. It's icky. When you feel entitled to something, your energy changes when you ask for what you want versus gratitude and appreciation for things is magnetic. It draws opportunities to you. People like being around you. So choose gratitude, live in a state of gratitude, have a gratitude practice. We talked about consumption versus creation.
If you are over consuming and under creating, your business will not feel good to you. Your mental energy will not feel good. Your physical energy will not feel good. And so be a creator in a world of consumers. And it is very difficult. I will give a nod to that. How the algorithms work, the way that social media is designed, like what very powerful people are doing is making you a consumer because they make money off of our consumption. And so to be a creator is bold.
It's revolutionary and it is hard. It is difficult. It takes mental management. It takes purpose. It takes intention. And that's why you're probably listening to this podcast, right?
Like you want to live a life of intention. You want to be conscious about your choices and your thinking. And so just notice how much are you consuming? How much are you creating? Do you like the ratio? And then the last distinction I shared is belief work versus buffering with work. Choose to believe. Choose thoughts on purpose. Don't let work become a buffer. Don't buffer your life with work. That's not what it was designed for. And I think it's a quick way to burn out. It's a quick way for your family and your business to come into competition, which isn't required. It's a quick way to honestly drain your mind.
When we buffer with work, we're not creating with work. The way that I like to do is believe work. I go back to my beliefs. What have I been believing? What could I believe on purpose that gets me closer to my goals? What could I believe today that makes me feel better? What can I believe today that would get me into inspired action? And I write those down and I get to work. Okay, that was a lot. Thank you for listening. I hope that you have your own lightning bolt alignment today and every day.
And like Rick Rubin said about the space around the lightning bolt, even if you don't have moments of insane alignment, like I love that when it happens, I also don't make it a requirement to do what I need to do. And I think that that's the big message. The big takeaway is like try to create in aligned ways, tend to your thoughts, tend to the way you feel, tend to your alignment, and then keep your blinders on so that you can do work that matters, that you can do work that is profitable to you, so that you can do work that moves the needle and that serves you, your highest well-being, and your family, and the lifestyle that you're creating. Okay, thank you for listening. I'll talk to you soon. Bye.
