What's up, you guys? Welcome back to the podcast. I'm thinking about a few things, and you can obviously see what's been on my mind with these past few episodes. I launched this kind of small program called Quiet Wealth, and it's been so fun to get that cohort started. But this concept of quiet wealth has been on my mind. And there's been two things.
One of them is a funny story about my three-year-old. And then another is a quote by Brennan Burchard that really struck me. I remember, I don't even know, this was probably like four or five years ago that I first read this quote that he shared on Instagram. Again, this is Brennan Burchard. He says, “What most successful people want that they don't know that they want is that they just want to feel the day again.” They want to feel the day again.
And I think about this all the time because I love the concept of there's like these two games that we play as entrepreneurs, not even just entrepreneurs as humans, but there's the outer game of success, money, status, where we live, what car we drive, the money in our bank account, our titles, where we go on vacation, all of the things that people can see.
And then there's a whole other game that's the inner game, like how we feel, the energy we have, the wealth we feel in our lives regardless of money, the gratitude we feel, the relationships that we have. Are you happy in your own mind? And like what Brennan said in that quote, it's like, do I feel my days? Am I numbing out? Am I sedating? Or do I feel my days? And that includes some hard things. But am I feeling it? Might we want to feel alive? And to me, that's part of quiet wealth.
I mentioned that there was two things on my mind and my three-year-old, she's almost four, she got this line from Trolls Band Back Together. I think that's what it's called. Band Back Together. Anyway, it's about the brothers in a boy band. It's really funny. We enjoy it. We like the Trolls series. But one of the things that someone says at the very end is this is my dream life as she gets called onto stage to dance with the boy band.
My three-year-old, she really hooked on to that line. This is my dream life. She will say it like we turn the sprinklers on, they're running outside and she's running through the sprinklers. And it's gonna make me like a little bit emotional, but she's running through the sprinklers and it's sunny outside. And she's yelling like, this is my dream life. When I take them outside or we go to the park, when she flies down the slide. This is my dream life. When I'm putting her to bed and we're being silly. This is my dream life.
She has that line and it's made me emotional because it's like, that's what every parent wants for their kids to feel like they're living their dream life. But to me, that's feeling the day. She is feeling successful and loved and grateful and alive. This is my dream life. If I had to sum up what I wish for all my clients and you listening to this is to feel that way. This is my dream life.
So now that my three-year-old says that me and my husband say that to each other, we're like, this is my dream life. It's a joke, but it's not. You know what I mean? It's like, we're going to bed and I look at him and I joke like, this is my dream life. When we're on vacation and we're driving to the grocery store and like we're just so happy. And it's not that I'm happy all the time. It's not like happy go lucky. Nothing's ever wrong, but there's so much right in our lives that I want to make that as conscious as possible so that I can feel my day more. Even right now, it's like, this is my dream life.
Podcasting with you guys. After I'm done podcasting, I'm going to write, I'm going to get some stuff done. And then my girls will come home from going to the aquarium with my nanny and we'll hang out tonight. We have movie nights. We go to the park. We go to the aquarium. Like there's so many things that we do. And the thought that I love to summon on purpose so that I can feel my day more is this is my dream life.
Not because everything is perfect. Not because I don't have ambitions and dreams that I'm trying to achieve. Cause I do. But one of the messages that has always been something that I've believed in is that you can experience, this is my dream life, even while you're creating things that you don't have yet, because you don't have to sacrifice your wellbeing and your happiness for your dreams. I don't believe that.
Now is discomfort required? Yes. Just because I'm saying this is my dream life does not mean that every day is like giggles and rainbows and daisies, but there's moments. And those are the moments that I'm looking for. I'm literally like putting on the eyes to see them with my consciousness, with my state of awareness, with my beliefs, with my journaling. This is why I believe in journaling and writing. This is why I believe in coaching.
This is why I believe in reading wealth consciousness books or other books that maybe aren't necessarily wealth consciousness, but like Loving What Is by Byron Katie, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. They're not necessarily wealth consciousness books, but they are books that help you be in the miracle. That's another line that I've used my whole coaching career is like be in the miracle.
When my daughter, this is making me a little emotional. My daughter is yelling like, this is my dream life. I'm like, that's what everyone wants. You know, man, I don't want to cry. I'm like in my office alone crying. But it just means so much to me and it really touches my heart to hear her say that. And it's not like this is the biggest aha. This is why I love doing this work, because it's not like she says that only when we're at Disney World.
Do we go to Disney World? Yes. Did she say it while we're at Disney World? Yes, she did. It was so cute. Like dancing at the parade or watching Mickey on the stage or whatever. She's like, that's my dream life. But like there's a whole nother aspect that I think is available no matter what is happening in your business. This is my dream life.
What is interesting is this evolves with you. Like what used to be my dream life before I was an entrepreneur is different than it is now. Same goes for you. Your dream life before you had kids looks different after you have kids. Your dream life when you're in the beginning phase of a career is different than your dream life when you're in the middle of a promotion or maybe you've achieved some of the things that you've achieved.
I think it's a decision to look at the things that are working. This is uncomfortable that we have to train our brains to do this. I know that has not been taught to a lot of us. I know it wasn't taught to me, even though I studied psychology and I was going to be a therapist and all these things like it wasn't taught in a practical way how to look for the good. And this is why I love the self-education space. As much crap as it gets. I still love it because it changed my life more than any textbook I ever read and more than any theory.
People like Brendan Burchard, Tony Robbins, Byron Katie, Brooke Castillo, in the beginning, Rachel Hollis, like these people who are advocates for self-education taught me practical strategies like looking for the good, choosing thoughts on purpose, questioning my thoughts so that I could access more peace and power in my life. And it's not something that I take for granted.
Sometimes I do and probably sometimes you do too, where we get into the swing of things into the groove of life and we go numb. The point of this podcast is to wake up to the great things that are happening right now. Regardless of the hard things, there are good things. Doesn't mean everything is good. This is something that I teach my clients where it's like my business feels really hard. I'm like, okay, then you need to buoy up yourself with belief and energize yourself with things that maybe aren't necessarily in business.
This is what I did when my business was brand new, and it was making like 200 bucks a month or something. And I was like, I need to make more money than this. I would look at my babies.
I would go for walks. I would move my body. I would go on date night with Wesley, and I would find ways to strengthen my belief. Like this is my dream life. I didn't have that word back then, but it was like, be in the miracle. Look for things that are working. Find the little moments that I can savor.
And it's easy not to do this. I actually was talking with one of my friends, Lonnie. This was a long time ago. We talked about, she was a health coach. Lonnie, if you're listening to this, I hope you remember this conversation. But we were talking about like the things that are easy to do for health are also easy not to do. It was such an aha moment for me, because that is how everything is.
It is easy not to post on social media. It's easy to post on social media. What's the difference is actually doing it day in day out. I mentioned in recent podcast episodes, like as you live your days, so you craft your life. The things you do on a day to day basis end up becoming your life. Even in the moment though, it might feel like, oh, it's not a big deal. It's one post on Instagram. That thought is a lack of awareness and a lack of waking up to this powerful moment.
So when I think of this is my dream life, all my power comes back into my body right now, because I'm not thinking my dream life is in the future. I'm not thinking my dream life is in the past. That is a plague. When we're young, everything's going to happen when we're older. And then when we get older, we are like, oh, the golden years. Oh, when I was in college or when I was doing this in the past and we miss the powerful now.
So this is my dream life as a current statement. It's like a declaration of gratitude, of celebration, of awe. It brings you into the now, which is where everything gets done. Even when you arrive at all the success that you think you want, you're still going to experience it. Like you're experiencing at this moment. So this is my dream life. Try it.
And I try to do this in funny moments. Like when I'm doing the dishes and my kids are helping me clean up sometimes, let's be real. Sometimes they're helping me clean up and I put on a Taylor Swift song and we're dancing in the kitchen. I summoned the thought, this is my dream life and it immediately makes me present. Like even now I feel the emotions of that moment because it is, I would actively choose the life that I have. And like how many people can say that that's what I want for you.
And to me, this is a consciousness shift to choose the life you have while you create some of the things that maybe you don't have yet, whether that's more money, more clients, more fame, more freedom, more money in your bank account, whatever it is. There's always going to be external results and circumstances that we're working on. That's the game of life, that’s the game of expansion. But it is such a different experience to build from abundance, to take action in your business because this is your dream life versus I need to hustle my way so that I can overcome where I'm at.
Here's another thing. I got coaching on this early, early on because I was irritated with my kids and was ashamed of that. I didn't want to be irritated with my kids, but I felt irritated. So I brought it to my coaching with my coach and she was like, I think you're treating your kids like they are in the way of you making money. And I was like, that just feels true to me that they are in the way of me making money. At that time, I needed to make money for my family, for my kids. I was like, I need to figure my business so that we can get out of this hole.
So I felt like that was true. Like, well, if I had a nanny or if I didn't have to work at midnight or if I didn't have to wake up in the middle of the night to nurse, I can have a successful business. And she's like, you're missing the point. You are looking at your kids as something that you need to like get around to get to the success. The whole point of success in business is to be with your kids, right? And I was like, Oh my gosh, yes.
And it changed everything for me. Cause it was like, my kids are not something get around my family work, my family relationships isn’t something that I want to like get through the day so that I can go to work. It's like, that is why I do what I do is so that my family can have this experience of expansion together. Both me personally, and me and my husband, and me and my husband and my children at the same time.
My business is an important part of my expansion, but my kids are not something in the way of that. My kids are that. And that changed everything for me. So now when I get interrupted or when I have to end work early, or when my kids are like, mom, don't work today or whatever. I use that as a signal. This is my dream life to be able to have a business with flexibility and freedom so that I can be with my kids.
That was a huge and hard thing to be coached on early on in my career. And now I'm so grateful that I did, not because I'm perfect at it, but it's a reminder for me. It's a remembrance that this is why I'm doing what I'm doing. It's not something to get through and the same rules apply, not even to children. I think we want to skip the part where we learn the lessons.
One of the things that I told many of my clients is don't skip this part. Don't skip the part where you get rejected. Don't skip the part where you fail your launch for the third time. Don't skip the part where your client asks for a refund. Don't skip the part where you try to change something in your offer and it flops. Don't skip the part where you try to raise your prices and someone tells you you're crazy. All the things that we hate about business building, all the things that feel confronting to our identity, all the things that challenge our beliefs are for us.
And we do not want to skip them because they refine us into the people who can build the things that we want to build. Even in the hard times, can you access the thought like this is still my dream life? If you can, one, you will have more peace than you can imagine because you are not afraid of going through the hard things. You almost lean into it. The next thing is if you're not going to skip the hard parts, you learn the lessons and you will eventually get to a place where you will never have to go through that again.
So I'll give you an example. I remember when I realized I would never have to work a job again. And it was such a powerful declaration for me. Like I will never have to get a job again. I can figure this business out. But that came through freaking hard work. That came through lots of hard times, times that brought me to my knees where I was like, how am I going to do this? And because I didn't give up, I learned the skills and the mindsets and the grit and the spirituality, all of those things happening at once to become the kind of person who could build my dreams.
I see people who want success and they want to skip the hard parts. And I'm like, no, no, no, you want to lean into the hard parts because the hard parts are what shape you into becoming the person who can say, this is my dream life. What's interesting is the dream life like I said, even if things aren't working in one area, you can use the dream life principle in areas that are working.
It could just be like, this is my dream life. I love the house that I live in. This is my dream life. I love going for a walk in my neighborhood. I think the simple things like that are overlooked because especially in the world of like Instagram and social media, there's so many flashy results, but that's why I started with that quote by Brendan Burchard. It's like they want to feel the day more. If you can figure out how to feel your day with meaning and purpose and drive and gratitude, you've already won.
Everything else is just bonus. Everything else is a game. I really think of business like a game to play. I had a client once, she had broken her highest income month ever. And we get on the call to celebrate and she starts crying and I'll never forget it. She was crying because she didn't think it would feel like this. She thought she would be like immediately happy and that all her problems were going to be solved because she made so much money in a month. She was crying because it was the realization that it didn't necessarily solve her problems. It didn't solve the inside stuff.
And that's my message, I guess. It's like, you can solve the inside stuff by doing the inner work. And like I mentioned some of the books that have helped me, Loving What Is, The Power of Now, or A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. Those books really changed my life. I read them pretty much every year. And then studying wealth consciousness books, because it just makes you see the world differently. You Too Can Be Prosperous by Robert Russell, Signs of Getting Rich by Wallace Wattles, all of these books I've mentioned recently. But these books helped me see the world differently.
I think this is by Wayne Dyer, “When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.” And I have absolute evidence that that's true in my life. By changing the way that you look at your life, by saying, this is my dream life. Now, don't wait until the money hits your bank account. Don't wait till the client signs. Don't wait for the promotion. Don't wait for the thing at school with your kid to resolve itself. You can find access to that now if you're looking for it. And my encouragement is that you start looking for it.
Write down what you're grateful for. Again, that is easy not to do and easy to do. It's easy to write five things that you're grateful for, but will you actually do it? It's easy to send a quick message to your husband. I did this this morning and I've been doing it for months, but my gratitude and appreciation for him, I could skip it. It takes me two minutes. But that compound effect of me sending the appreciation text to him every day has strengthened our marriage in ways that like, I can't even articulate. It's just a little thing.
So the tiny things stack into miracles because you change. You change. You start seeing things differently. You start seeing miracles. You start being grateful. You start noticing a sunrise or a sunset. For me, it's like the hummingbird that came to the tree. I'm like, Oh, look at that. I noticed it on my walks. I noticed the ruffle of the trees and it's like, I'm alive on the inside. No business success or lack of success can take that away from me because I have learned to live in the miracle. I have learned to live in my dream life by changing my consciousness, which is why this whole podcast is called the conscious coach, because I believe it all starts there. And so just try it. Try it.
When you're doing this today, say, this is my dream life. If it's not, one, can you change circumstances so that it can be? Can you create circumstances that you can create or can you accept circumstances that you cannot change? It's like the serenity prayer. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change courage, to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference. I think coaching does three things. One, it helps you change your circumstances, basically create new results. It helps you appreciate circumstances, make peace with things that you can't change and it helps you create.
I think changing and creating are two different things. So change, create, or accept. That's what's available for you. It's like a buffet of life. You can go through each of the results in your life and you can ask yourself, can I change this or can I create something new? And if I cannot, can I make peace with this? Can I accept this? When you understand that game, everything changes because then it's always up to you.
I mentioned books that really helped me. So I hope you dive deep into them. And the word that comes to me is like, submit to the work. I think it can be easy to intellectualize all of this. I've done this a lot where it's like, I could teach the theory. I could teach the principle. Like I know intellectually the right thing to say, but am I living it? Like Byron Katie's work. Am I actually questioning my thoughts or do I just know that questioning my thoughts is the right move?
Two different things. To actually question my thoughts versus like, Oh, raising my hand in a class. I know what the answer is. Question your thoughts. That's not what I'm talking about. Like on a day to day basis, are you challenging your thoughts and being willing to see something differently? Cause that's where all the magic is. So that is my message for you today. Thank you for listening. If it resonated with you, it'll resonate with a friend. So send it along. That does wonders for me and my business. And I appreciate you. Go live your dream life. I'll talk to you soon.
