Hey you guys, welcome back to the podcast. I just got back from a very long walk in the sunshine and I'm feeling good. My kids were getting slurpees, and we're enjoying summer.
I've been thinking about this concept for a long time. In fact, I think the first post I made about this concept was like in January on my Instagram, and I called it Quiet Wealth and that's what I'm calling the episode today. It's a concept that really resonates for my people, the clients that I work with, the people who listen to this podcast, the people who are aligned with my message, the way that I live my life and the way that I teach business.
And so I wanted to give a designated place that will live on in my podcast just dedicated to this concept of quiet wealth. Because to me, I teach wealth consciousness, I teach business success, I teach life success, and I coach on it. But it's not in a flashy way. I don't use my own revenue or anything to market what I do. I don't share my client money results because to me, success is about so much more than money. Now, we're going to talk about this.
I do believe in making money, and I do believe in growing your revenue and your income and those kinds of things, which we'll talk about. But it's about so much more than money and includes money. So to me, quiet wealth has this holistic success tone where it's not just one aspect of your life that you're winning at.
The other part of this that is included in the concept of quiet wealth is that it's not for anyone else. It's for you. I've always cared about how my life feels, not just how my life looks. That's like the foundation of this concept. In fact, there's a quote that I love that I think about all the time by Rick Rubin. He says, success occurs in the privacy of the soul.
That is quiet wealth. I think about that all the time because especially as our world becomes increasingly more chaotic, as our world becomes more noisy, more comparison driven, more fake, we don't know what's real sometimes, especially like with the rise of A.I. and Instagram selfies. And I heard this person rented a Lamborghini and took pictures and used it in their marketing to sell a program.
I don't have judgment for it. I wouldn't do that. But it's just interesting to observe. Our world is going in an interesting direction where I think we're losing touch with what success really means. To me, and we'll talk about all these details, but I think it has to do with freedom. Yes.
Which usually includes a financial piece where you have the freedom to buy what you want and need. But I also think there's a huge missing piece, especially for people who want to put on a good show. And we see this.
We see this in the news about divorces and people who aren't speaking to their children or the children aren't speaking to them or bankruptcy that it seemed like everything was going so well and then they're bankrupt or people who quit their business even though it seemed like everything was going OK. Broken homes, things that from the outside that people wouldn't know. And like I said, it's not a judgment because I know that people have their own struggles.
I think why I'm bringing this up is that you don't compare your life to anyone else's because you just don't know what's happening on the inside. So to me, quiet wealth is about maybe the outside. I don't think it's not the outside success, what you post on Instagram and the house you live in and the car you buy and the vacations you go on and things like that.
But it's backed with inner peace and groundedness and the feeling of success on your own terms, feeling peace. I think in a world that is becoming more high tech and distant emotionally, it's funny how connected we are. So many people feel lonely and how easy it is to connect with anyone in the world, people feel very alone in their lives. I think it's because people don't know how to cultivate the inside part of success, which is an inner game.
It is not an outer game. So today, quiet wealth is an inner and an outer game. And I'm going to talk about the aspects that I believe build quiet wealth through the inside out. If you try to chase success on the outside and you neglect the inside, it will feel hollow. In fact, I just finished a book called The Wealth Money Can't Buy by Robin Sharma, which I highly recommend. He talks about all the billionaires and multimillionaires that he coaches and mentors privately because they've built this mega successful company.
But the other parts of their life that they want to be wealthy, he calls The Wealth Money Can't Buy. Money can't buy a great relationship with your children. Money can't buy a fit body. Money can't buy peace. And we try to. I think that the world is trying to, whether that's like it can cross the spectrum, yoga retreats, medication, business success, vacations, therapy, like you name it, we try to buy it.
But at the end of the day, like it is the inside job. Peace of mind is an underrated form of wealth. Great relationships are an underrated form of wealth. Waking up happy is an underrated form of wealth. Having the time to do what you want to do on your terms is an underrated form of wealth. And this is what's interesting is you can use that time however you want.
Like I know people who are genuinely happy and they work a lot. And their mission in life is to keep their eyes on their price. They don't want to be judged by anyone else. They like working a lot. They like the fruits of that work. They like what they do. And they would choose it. The key to this is choice. That you are consciously choosing how to spend your time. That's quiet wealth.
In the season of motherhood that I'm in, I want more time and space to raise my kids. That was a conscious choice by me and in discussion and collaboration and co-creation with my husband Wesley because of who we want to be in our marriage and in our family. Like I said, it's not a judgment against people who work more than me at all. It's just I think there's this knowing on the inside of what feels an integrity to me. And I think that's part of quiet wealth too is a deep understanding of what you really want in the season of life that you are in because it changes.
When I was a brand new mom raising my first baby, I didn't work. Well, I did. That's a lie. I did work. I would wake up at three in the morning and I would teach English to kids in China. And then my baby would wake up about seven o'clock and we would start our day. I did what was required, not what I wanted. So that was a lower level of freedom than I think I enjoy now where I'm doing work that I want to do, making the money that I want to make.
The game of growth and what I think is personal expansion, I think of that as like our divine heritage is personal expansion where we are increasing in freedom of money, yes, but also of time and purpose and depth and spiritual groundedness and connection, understanding who you really are and remembering and living who you really are.
Those are the kinds of things that the world really needs. And so I wanted to speak to it because I think this concept will really resonate with you. If you like this podcast, I think this is like a whole nother level that we can go. The first thing that I wrote down when I was taking just some quick notes to keep my thoughts straight is by their fruits, you shall know them, which is a biblical verse. And I think about this all the time. It's not by intentions.
It's not by what we say. It's by the fruits. And that's the results. One of the things that I love coaching when I was in the therapy world, like I said, there's nothing wrong with the therapy world. I just happen to not exist in the therapy world anymore. But when I was studying more of like therapy-type thoughts and going to school and thinking I was going to be a marriage and family therapist, I remember thinking a lot about the way that people taught thinking.
And one of the things that I loved about coaching was that it helped me really see that like thinking is what creates our results, which is a basic tenet of coaching, but also in CBT and things. But I remember literally seeing the line between my beliefs creating my results. Of course, this conversation is going to also include your beliefs and your thoughts about your relationships and your body and your spirituality and your business and your money and your purpose.
But by your fruits, you know whether you have the life that you want, whether you're working towards life that you want, whether you have quiet wealth. And I think quiet wealth is a moving target because seasons change, you change, your kids get older, your relationship evolves, jobs change, the economy changes. Change is the only thing that's permanent.
And so quiet wealth is a moving thing, too. One of the things that I know about expansion is this, and I actually heard it said this way, there's a pit and there's a peak. As you move from your pit into your peak, that peak will eventually become your pit because it becomes normal. And I have seen evidence of this over and over again. And the way that one of my mentors said it early on was like, there actually is no peak because when you get to the top of a peak, a new peak is shown. There are infinite levels to the game of personal expansion.
And that's our divine origin. I think that's what life is about. That's not a problem. It's the game of life. We're constantly evolving and expanding. And as we achieve things that felt hard to achieve, a new desire is born. Like if you want to make your first sale, you make your first sale. Then once you make your first sale, you want to make the next 10 sales. Once you make 100k, you want to make 500k. Once you make a million, you want to make 5 million. Once you reach a certain body weight, you want to compete in the crossfit game. Once you have a relationship where you have great communication, then you want great intimacy.
Like it just never ends. That is expansion. In our nature, we want the expansion. And so quiet wealth is not something that you get to and then you stop. Quiet wealth is the way we live our life. It's the journey. These things are evolving and I think the clarity that I'm going to ask you to spend time thinking about means getting brutally honest with yourself about the fruits. By their fruits, you shall know them. By your fruits, you shall know yourself.
So taking a hard look and being honest with yourself about your situation in the domains that we're going to talk about, which is like your relationships, your work, your purpose, your spirituality, and your body. Those kinds of domains, like being really honest about the fruits that you have created up to this point without judgment, I'm going to offer, but truth telling. And this is the paradox is you can look at your fruits and be honest about what you've created, whether it's what you want or not, without being pissed off at yourself and without judging yourself as like not good enough, bad.
You can be like, oh, up to this point, the fruits that I've created, I actually would not choose. I want different fruits. That begins the journey because I think when we can tell ourselves the truth, then our word has more power and we can start consciously creating, speaking, and thinking what we want into existence in all the domains of our life.
The first domain that I wrote down is relationships. One of the things that has been a helpful tool for me in cultivating and clarifying and creating my quiet wealth would be spending time thinking about my mortality. And I know that sounds morbid, but when I imagine myself on my deathbed at 120 years old, I love to extend my life. I think it's a helpful tool.
When I'm 120 on my deathbed, what do I want to remember about my life and how do I want to die? And I don't mean like, how will I actually like die? I mean, like, what conditions of my life have I been experiencing up to my last day and my last breath? And I always imagine deep relationships full of love with my partner, Wesley, with my posterity, my children and my grandchildren and friends, people in my community that I have served and impacted and they have served and impacted me, where there's this like deep love. And that's how I know it gives me direction for how to live my life and what to prioritize now.
I do use that almost like as an awakening for me to remember what matters most, especially when I get sucked into all the distractions and easy things to lose ourselves into the shallowness of life, like social media, my email, the number of downloads on my podcast and who liked my most recent post on Instagram and all the things that will end up being superficial at the end. It's useful to consider for yourself the conditions that you want to die. I know that sounds morbid, but it will inform you on what matters most.
And so that's where I wanted to start was relationships, because I think relationships is what gives our life the depth and the meaning, even beyond family. It could just be like the people that you do work with. It could just be the people that you are friends with. Doesn't have to be like the nuclear family. I happen to have a nuclear family, so that's very relevant for me. But even if you don't or even if you're in a transition period, whether you're single or divorced or you don't have kids, doesn't really matter.
The relationships of your life enhance it in our world as we become more superficial. To be honest, it's easy to. It's easy to be superficial with our world of like digitized relationships, going deep, being real, feeling loved and giving love, having honest communication with people who care about you and people who you care about, where it is raw. That is quiet wealth.
What's sad is people want it, but very few people will have it because I think we've gotten into this really distracted world where we don't spend time. And so to me, quiet wealth is spending time with my kids, going on walks with Wesley and my girls, reading to them, calling my parents on Sunday, having my sisters over to my house for dinner and going on trips with my family, spending time with my great grandma. And actually, I was just thinking about this because I was like, how can I put this in a story?
But my grandma, so my girl's great grandma just came to visit a few weeks ago now. She choked, and I had to give her the Heimlich literally in my house in front of my girls. My girls were very scared and I was scared. I was like, my grandma cannot die in my house because she was like turning purple. And it was really scary. Thankfully, I had CPR and first aid training years ago. And so I ended up giving the Heimlich and dislodged the bread that was stuck in her throat.
She's OK. I didn't even break her ribs, although I thought I did because she was really sore the next day. But it woke me up that my grandma will die.
And I lost both of my grandpas last year. So it's been on my mind. I've walked many of my clients through their loved ones dying. That's the beauty of life is like our relationships. It gives us that enhanced quality of life, that meaning, that purpose, love, connection, joy. So relationships are the first thing that I want to talk about, because I think if you have great relationships, you already have quiet wealth.
And what's interesting is I think there's this world where people sacrifice their relationships to achieve something else, to achieve business success, to achieve something external. And they miss the point. I told Wesley at the beginning of my business journey, I was like, I always want our relationship and our kids to be number one.
And the business has to grow with that intact. That was a condition of my business success. And I'm so grateful that we were able to talk about that now, because it just feels true that like, as I grow my business success, my family life gets better, because that's how I decided to grow it from the beginning.
The next piece that I think is very useful is like a spiritual connection, whatever that means for you. I love in Alcoholics Anonymous, they say God of your own understanding. That resonates for me. And whatever belief system you have, I have a lot of Christian and LDS listeners, because I am Christian and LDS.
But I have other listeners of very different faiths, it doesn't really matter to me. But developing your own relationship with your source, with your God of your own understanding, being spiritually grounded, helps you remember who you really are. I love in the book, Happier Than God and Conversations with God, Neil Donald Walsh always capitalizes that line, who you really are, because so many people have forgotten.
One of my favorite quotes is from Return to Love by Marianne Williamson. And you've probably heard it. It's, our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we were powerful beyond measure. She goes on to say, like, who are you not to be powerful, basically, you are a child of God. And that is who we really are.
And I think when we forget that, when we forget our divine heritage, and who we really are, we do things not aligned with our highest values, not aligned with who we really are. It will always feel a disconnect, a lack of integrity. To me, spiritually connected means praying, means meditating, means remembering and living who I really am. Like I said, it doesn't really matter what your belief system is, I think whatever that means for you, prioritizing living a spiritual life, you could take that a lot of ways.
But for me, I think you will know it, like I said at the beginning, my favorite quote recently is from Rick Rubin. Success occurs in the privacy of the soul or spirit. So your spiritual work of forgiveness, of love, of choosing again, of letting go is spiritual work, of non judgment. There's a lot of tactical tools that I think apply to spirituality that cross religion that cross belief systems and are useful.
On top of relationships, doing spiritual work where you're choosing love, choosing forgiveness, choosing to serve others, choosing to see other people as your brothers and sisters and to give I think that's the way that I say it to be a giver is spiritual work. And it is quiet wealth. The next piece is a body that is energized, vibrant, and at peace. One of the things that I have always had is like a calm, peaceful nature on the inside, and people can feel it on the outside. Another way that I've had clients describe it is like you're so chill. And it's like, yes, I am chill on the outside.
But on the inside, I just have a deep peace. I don't have a lot of fear or worry, based on a lot of inner work. A lot of this is inner work through coaching, through reading, through journaling, through meditating, through study. But I think it's a gift that I was given at a young age is learning how to create peace in my own mind and soul, regardless of circumstances. And the way that I like to think about the body here, because I think the mind and the body work together in harmony. So part of it is I choose thoughts that help me be peaceful, but also I have just a way of calming my body down where I'm present.
The body in the form of quiet wealth is, like I said, energized, vibrant and at peace. So this to me talks about fitness, fuel and the thoughts that you think that create your inner emotional state. That's also quiet wealth. What I don't take for granted, the energy that I feel, the power that I feel when I work out or when I go on a walk or when I lift weights, when I play outside with my kids, when I play basketball with my friends or pickleball or whatever. I take that and I'm grateful for it because I know that a working, strong body is a part of quiet wealth, too.
So the next part of quiet wealth that I mentioned, I think the mind impacts the body, the body impacts the mind. But a mind that is clear, focused and grateful, that is quiet wealth. So clear impacts everything. When I know what I want, when I know what I'm doing every day, when I have a sense of organized planning, when I am living according to my values.
The next piece is when I'm focused on creating, when I'm focused and being present with my kids or being present with a client or writing down an idea or creating this podcast or whatever. And then the third piece is grateful. You can be grateful under any circumstances. And I know that that's a cliche, but it's a cliche because it's true. When you cultivate gratitude and you live that way, things start to change. When you combine a body that is energized, vibrant and at peace with a mind that is clear, focused and grateful, I feel very unstoppable when I have these things.
And this gives me a sense of confidence and calm. To me, it is rare. And that is quiet wealth. Notice we haven't even talked about money or business yet. So if you have relationships that are true, meaningful, fun, full of love, if you're spiritually connected and aligned, you have a body that is energized, vibrant and at peace. You have a mind that is clear, focused and grateful.
This has nothing to do with your financial situation. We're going there. But that is quiet wealth.
And many people don't have it, even if they have money. And some people have money in both. But like, I think the foundation is here. Your relationships, your spirituality, your body and your mind. This is the foundation of quiet wealth.
The next piece that I wrote, still want money, is time. A balance of work, play and rest that feels good to your soul and produces the results you want. Because I do think you can have both. I share this matrix with my clients. It's if you can imagine four squares, kind of like in a box, you can be detached or attached and you can be clear about what you want or you can be unclear about what you want.
And the reason that I use this is because if you are unclear about what you want and detached, like you don't really care, you might feel good, you might feel peaceful, but you're not going to be creating what you want. When we have quiet wealth in the form of time, we have the balance that we want of work, play and rest. Work, it could be business, it could be in the home, it could be at a job or a career. Play, it could be with your kids, it could be alone, it could be vacation, it could be going to the park, playing pickleball. But you're playful. You're not sitting at home.
And then rest, the way that I understand it, is like a deep rest, a spiritual rest. It's not just sitting on your couch watching TV, although I do that and I do consider it rest. I think that's one aspect of rest. I think rest can also mean that you don't think about work when you don't want to think about work. Rest can also mean you're not always pushing and hustling and grinding.
You are also enjoying the fruits of your labor and you notice little things. I have to be in a state of rest to appreciate a sunset and to like notice the leaves on the trees and to hear the buzzing bees. Actually, I wrote this chapter in the book. Okay, well, let me say I'm writing a book. And I wrote a chapter in the book called The Perfect Backflip because I was in Colorado visiting my parents and I was resting. I wasn't working.
I wasn't trying to do anything or accomplish anything. I was resting. And my seven-year-old, I guess she's eight now, but she was seven at the time, she did this backflip in the pool. And she's like, mom, did you see that? It was the perfect backflip. And I was so present that like I almost teared up. That was the perfect backflip. I got to witness your perfect backflip. And it was such a small moment. But like those little things are only available when we are in a place where we can see them.
Having that place to rest, where we use time to rest and to notice and to savor, it enhances the quality of our life. I should have said this in the beginning, but one of the things about quiet wealth that I believe in is not just the quantity of results, but the quality of your life. Are you enjoying it? Do you notice the little things? Are you appreciative? Are you seeing the miracles? Because they're all around us, but we have to have the eyes to see and the ears to hear them, which means slowing down, aka rest.
And so to me, time is not just about productivity, although that's part of it. You're creating the results you want, but you are also aligning the ratio of how much you work and how much you rest and how much you play in a way that feels good. And this is unique. I’m not subscribing like I think you should work 20 hours a week, and rest 20 hours a week, and play 10 hours a week. I'm not saying any of that because I think what I'm inviting you to do is to look at the fruits of your life and say, do I like how much I work? Do I like how much I play? Do I like how much I rest?
And is the way that I'm working, is the way that I'm playing, is the way that I'm resting creating the results I actually want in my life? When you can answer that with, yes, I love how I work, how I play, how I rest, I think you are using your time reflective of quiet wealth.
The next piece of this, I believe is expanding freedom with money. Like I mentioned, I really resonate with the word expansion because it's not just one and done. It's not get to the finish line and you're done. It is playing an infinite game, which I deeply resonate with that frame that Simon Sinek talked about in his book. The point of an infinite game is to keep playing. Business is like that for me. I'm not trying to win business
.
I'm trying to stay in business and increase my entrepreneurial freedoms. The entrepreneurial freedoms to me is the relationships within my business. So I'm working with who I want to work with in the form of the clients and my team. I love my team and I love my clients. I am genuinely excited to see their name pop up in my Zoom room or I'm genuinely excited about the group or I'm genuinely excited about whoever I'm working with. That's entrepreneurial freedom number one.
Entrepreneurial freedom number two is money. I enjoy and I like the money that I make. I'm profitable. I'm making money for my wants and my needs. And then the third one is time. I get to spend time in my business the way that I want to. And this is an ever evolving game. The way that I like to describe it is like zone of genius. So in the beginning of my business, I had no idea what my zone of genius was. I was doing everything. I was doing marketing. I was doing sales. I was doing content. I was uploading the videos.
I was all the VA stuff and admin stuff. I was taking care of my bookkeeping. I was doing all of it.
And that's how everyone starts, I think. So I didn't have a lot of entrepreneurial time freedom because I was doing so much. And that's a common occurrence. As you grow your money, as you grow your skills and your experience, you start to have this desire to work in your zone of genius. And this is often when I work with people one on one is they want a deepening of working only in their zone of genius.
Maybe they're starting to hire people or get contractors to do things that aren't in their zone of genius. And their abundance grows because what I found is you become way more prosperous in your business when you live in your zone of genius. And your zone of genius evolves over time, just like anything.
Like I said, quite well there's a moving target depending on the season, depending on what's going on, depending on where you're at, depending on what you've been through, depending on what you want. So these three expanding freedoms: freedom of time, freedom of relationships, and freedom of money, it requires you to have tracking. By their fruits, you shall know them. You're checking in. Am I living in my zone of genius? What is my zone of genius? What do I love doing? Who do I love working with? Am I making the amount of money that I know I can be and want to be? And doing the work to create it. I think abundance is a spiritual principle, but it has a physical manifestation.
So the more abundant I feel on the inside, the more opportunities I see in the world, the more value I create for people, the more money I will make. The next piece is purpose. I know this won't resonate with every single person, but I think for a large majority of my audience, they see business as a part of their purpose in life, not the only purpose.
I don't resonate with that because I think that my purpose is way bigger than just what I do in business. I know that my purpose also includes being a wife and a mom and a sister and a daughter and a friend and a community member. So much bigger than just what I do in business. But businesses that have quiet wealth are living very purposefully. So it's like there is meaning. There is a strong, compelling reason for what you do.
And it usually has to do with impact, where you are helping and serving other people and you're making money. So purpose and profit, that combination in business is very, very powerful. It allows you to stay in the game long enough to actually succeed. I think people who are only in it for money, not that they won't make it. I'm not saying that at all, but I think it could be a harder game because especially in the beginning, it is very difficult. I've seen many coaches specifically who, if they're only in it to make money quickly, they burn out because sometimes you don't make money quickly.
What I found is the people who are tapped into a bigger why, where it's like, yes, I want to make money, but I also want to make a living helping people. I want to serve the world and I want to do it this particular way and I want both. Those are the people that can last because they have tapped into something bigger than them.
The combination of everything that we just talked about, where you're expanding into higher levels of freedom, purpose, impact, and knowledge, and being, by their fruits, you shall know them. So the fruits in your relationships, the fruits of your spirituality, the fruits of your body, the fruits of your mind, the fruits of your time, the fruits of your entrepreneurial freedoms, time, money and relationships where you're working with who you want to work with, you're making the money that you want to make and you're spending the time that you want to spend in the way that you want to spend it. Like I said, customized to you.
So you're working and playing and resting. You wake up grateful and happy to be alive. You're noticing the small things. You have time. Like today, it is not lost on me. My nanny was here.
It's a work day. I went on like an hour long walk by myself in the sunshine and it felt great. I know that's quiet wealth for me. For some people, they're like, oh, I would never use my work day to walk. And like, that is fine. There's nothing wrong with that.
But for me, I remember this is quiet wealth. And I often will use that thought. It's a very supportive, abundant thought when I'm sitting outside on my porch, holding my husband's hand, watching our kids play on our lawn. I'm like, this is quiet wealth. When I just got off a call with a client who is doing great and we have a great relationship and they're open to coaching and they're appreciative and they enjoy our work together. And I look forward to seeing them in the Zoom room. I'm like, this is quiet wealth.
When I get on and record a podcast about a concept and a topic that I am very passionate about, this is quiet wealth. When I wake up in the morning to go to my workout and I look in the mirror, is my body perfect? No. But like, I'm grateful for her. I'm grateful for the physical body that I have. I'm like, this is quiet wealth.
The fact that I can lift heavy weights, that I can run, that I can play sports. Like, this is quiet wealth. When I hold Wesley's hand and we're watching a movie together, when we go on a date night, when he comes home and I kiss him because I'm excited to see him. Like, this is quiet wealth. When I call my parents on Sunday and we have an amazing conversation, this is quiet wealth.
And I repeat this phrase because it gives me this surety that I'm on the right track. And that peace of mind, that stability, that grounded feeling that I have that I'm doing work that matters, that I'm expanding in my freedom, in my joy, in my capacity, in my knowledge, in my relationships. Like, this is quiet wealth. My hope and prayer for you is that you can find yourself saying this. This is quiet wealth. This is quiet wealth. It doesn't need to be loud and flashy.
It just needs to be meaningful to you because success occurs in the privacy of the soul, like
Rick Rubin says. That is my hope for you is to have true quiet wealth in all domains of your life that is meaningful to you and that you are living in alignment with how you want to live and the fruits that you want to have. The results that you're creating are the actual results that you want and you are willing to tell yourself the truth and do the work, both the inner work and the production work, like the actual activities, the consciousness work and the action work to make that a reality for you.
That is quiet wealth. That is what I want for you. Hey, if this episode resonated, share it. That would mean a lot to me. Thank you for listening. Thank you for being a part of my community and I will see you next time. Bye.
