MASTERCLASS DAY 3
Okay, you guys, I hope you're having a beautiful day. This whole week has kind of been a blur. I got back from vacation on Sunday, and I was really excited for this experience with you all. And I feel like it's just zoomed by. I hope you're getting a lot out of it, mostly in the way that you're applying it to your own business.
I really believe that coaching businesses are like, as unique as each of us individually. And so some of the things we're gonna talk about today, I want you to be applying it, not just like listening for agreement or like “oh, that's a good idea,” but like how is this changing you and what are you gonna take away and like, truly things will be different because of blank, like whatever you're gonna take away.
So we talked about the power of relationships, we talked about crafting a premium offer for the right person. Today we're gonna talk about how your best clients find you. I've said that a lot, but like, this concept has changed my business because I think in the beginning I was like, I have to go find people, I need to be like, showing up and like, yes, we show up. Yes, we do the work, but they meet us in the middle. We don't have to do all the work, especially if we're using potentiality to believe in our best client.
And what I have found is the clients that are ready for coaching, who are excited, they will meet you in the middle and say, I'm ready, they will reach out, they will click the link, they don't need a lot of convincing. And those are the kinds of people we wanna work with. So this is secret number three. I think of this. We still have to create the channel or the pathways so that people can come toward us.
I'm gonna teach the lighthouse model again, it's a continuous thing. And I think the way that we do that is, if you think about being the lighthouse and your people are in the water swimming towards different results, we have to give them a way to move towards us in a safe way. In a way where they're empowered, in a way where they're like, I believe you, I trust you. And then they can make a move. One of the things that I really want you to let this hit you is that they are already looking for solutions. Your best clients are already reading books, listening to podcasts, reading articles online, they're already looking for ways to get what they want.
And so our job as a coach is to be like, oh, where are they hanging out? I'm gonna put myself in the ring with them so they know that I'm an option too. Not that it's the only way or the best way, it's just a way, and if it's aligned for them, we can work together and create miracles. Because they're already looking.
I think sometimes, we talked about the predictability versus the potentiality, sometimes we accidentally imagine people with a lot of objections. We accidentally imagine people who think coaching is a scam. And then we write an email talking about our coaching, and we like, are trying to overcome their thoughts and what they're worried about and their doubts.
And I wanna make the case that that's part of our own imagination. What if we just imagine these people are already searching for ways to get what they want and you're just presenting and inviting an opportunity that might be different than they've tried before? So if we're thinking about you as the lighthouse, what you're doing is giving people a reason and a safe way to move closer.
This masterclass is a way that I've done that for you guys, I hope you feel safe to move closer into my world. We do this on social media, we do this in podcasts, we do this in person. Just safe place, there's no pressure, you can make a powerful decision. But this is why, if you do move closer, if you do try on a consult, like if that's what you're selling, what's the reason?
Like why would they do that? I think sometimes we forget to give the reason because we're so in our own head and we're afraid and we're trying to manage our own mind about our business and possible rejection and people misunderstanding. But if you get in the mind of the client, like why would they say yes to a consult with you and how can you show that it's a safe way for them to explore your world?
These are some of the ideas that I wanna play with. A lot of you guys are already doing these things. One of the things that, for me, really helps is releasing my timeline expectation of each of these things. I've had people, and they're in my audience that have been with me from the very beginning, who have never paid me money.
They've just listened to my podcast, they follow along on social media and that's great. I keep shining my light. Some people move in the client journey faster than others. Each client journey is unique to the person, and so the less we have expectations of how things should go and commit to the activities, these activities of growing our business, the more people will take you up and actually move up the pathways and channels because there's no pressure.
These six words at the top, this is how I see the way we do these things. The way we post on social media or write emails to our list is with consistency, detachment. Another way of saying needing nothing. Love, service, abundance, and being relevant. Like, is this relevant to what I help people with?
If you studied this picture, this is a whole business plan. What I wanna offer is, you don't have to do all of these things. But a lot of these things are powerful ways for people to explore your world before they commit to an intimate one-on-one container. One of the things that I am always trying to remember is like one-on-one is very intimate.
You are choosing to opt in for someone seeing you, your flaws, your struggles, what you don't tell other people about. And so it's not gonna be just this like, yes. Does that happen? Sure. Is that the norm? No. Right. So we wanna give lots of people touch points so that they feel like they get a handle or a feeling for what it would be like to work with you. And then when they're ready, they'll let you know.
So this is the way you be the lighthouse. I mentioned at the beginning that I think if you are a more seasoned coach, masterminds and group coaching are a great way actually, to create a pathway to one-on-one. It's an awesome offer in and of itself, I think it's an interesting thing to play with, like you can create paid opportunities and paid services as a way for people to develop a relationship with you that they might want one on one in the future. Something to consider.
What's on your menu? So, I like having a menu. I didn't really talk about this in the offer section, but I think having a menu or different ways to work with you. To me, it lightens the pressure of making one decision. There was a time period in my business after I read the Prosperous Coach, I talked about this story, but I shifted my pricing from $600 to $7,000 and it was like a big identity shift for me.
And I got this idea in my head that that was like, that was my offer. That was all I was gonna do. And it's not bad, but it felt really high stakes and it felt like a lot of pressure on my consults because this is the way you can work with me. Over time, what resonates with me and like I said, if it doesn't resonate with you, toss it.
But for me, I love having a menu so that when I'm on a consult, I can share a few different ways that people can work with me, including group programs. Sometimes it's like, listen to my podcast. Like one-on-one's probably not a good fit for you, my groups might not be a good fit for you, but you should listen to my podcast.
I consider my free content part of my menu. And it's like, this is how I serve, this is what's available, this is what it looks like at each level, what resonates with you? If you feel like a lot of pressure about one offer, you might try a menu. Like I said, if it doesn't resonate, toss it.
But I think it's a helpful way to consider you can give lots of different pathways for people to work with you. That always felt good to me. So I'm gonna kind of go back to something we talked about earlier, which is creating clients in pure potentiality. When we choose to do that, when we choose to think about and imagine and believe in people we don't know, we have to surrender our agenda and our timeline because we don't know them, but we do have to trust their timeline, their ability to say yes when it's right for them.
This takes a lot of faith and patience because I think we want things to happen fast, we want things to be predictable. Growing up it's like when I was graduating high school, it was like, you go to college, you get a job, you make X amount of money, you get married, you retire. Predictability.
And then you enter the world of entrepreneurship and it's like there's no rules, everything goes like, good luck. And so it feels like chaos, and this is what I get with a lot of my clients. That potentiality feels like chaos. I think faith and trust is the antidote to feeling like this is chaos. Seeing clients in their power and trusting their timing, it allows you to detach and need nothing, and you just keep serving and making invitations. You focus on the N S I C L, right? Need nothing, serve, invite, create, lead. That's what you can control. The less you try to predict and try to control their timeline, the better you will feel. I've been here. So I'm imagining someone like writing an email and it's powerful and amazing and it includes such great insight. And then you make a powerful call to action to book a consult with you, and no one clicks in that moment. You have a choice to continue to believe in pure potentiality and their timeline and their agenda because it's about them, not you.
And you get back to work, you go back into needing nothing, serving, inviting, creating, leading. You go back to creating your next email or making the next thing that you're gonna offer for free, or the next podcast or the next post, you get back into service. It feels better to do business this way because you're focused on what you can control.
And I wanted to talk about your best clients because that's who we want to innovate for. Your best clients will say yes. On their timeline, they will say yes when they're safe to explore your world without fear or pressure. So invite, but need nothing. If you're making invitations, secretly needing something, it's gonna feel bad. Your body will let you know something is off here.
And so I always try to check in like, okay, before I write this email, like where am I at? Is this something that feels like service? No transaction, just like this is an offer for you. And I think if you air on the side of not making enough invitations, it's like that borderline right in the middle. We want to make powerful invitations often, even though we're focused on service, because sometimes the invitation is exactly what someone needs in this moment, and that's when they're ready for a consult, they’re ready to talk about working together.
And sometimes they're not. That's okay. Your role and your job is still to invite, as a form of service. So I listed a lot of like client journeys, because I don't think that there's one right way, and I want to normalize. I've had clients that have literally lurked for like a year before they hired me, and that's normal.
And so if you feel like nothing's happening, things are happening just without you knowing it, and that's just good to remember. So I share like four different scenarios that either happened to me or a client. Like one of my clients was posting on LinkedIn, they got a DM, they booked a consult and they signed, and that sounds like how it's supposed to be. That's just one way, it's not the only way. Sometimes podcast, they join your email list, they consume emails for six months, and then they book a consult and become a client. So who are you being in that six month period, right?
When it looks like nothing's happening, things are happening beneath the surface. That's what we have to have faith and trust in. Other pathways, social media, they join your email list, they come to a masterclass, they join a group coaching experience, and then eventually they become a one-on-one client.
Maybe you meet at an event, then they follow each other on social media. Maybe they join your email list. They consume content for a few months, then they have a consult, but they're no for now. And then they continue consuming content for three more months, and then they become a client. Like it can be all over, but what matters is where your mind is at, where your heart is at while this is happening for your client. Because I think if your client's doing this, it's easy for your brain to be like, nothing's working, I'm messing something up. But you're not, when you're committed to the right activities, the N S I C L, all of this can happen without you having mind drama about their journey or their experience.
I did wanna take a second to talk about what I believe your best clients are like, in general, because when I start to spin out, when I've had periods or seasons, cuz there's an ebb and flow. It's the law of rhythm. Your business will ebb and flow no matter what level you're at. There'll be seasons where clients are coming to you and there'll be seasons where you're like, is this working? Is this thing gone?
I remember these people, my best clients, they are looking for support. They are action takers. They're gonna make a move. They are responsible. They take it upon themselves to ask questions, to get the right links, to move toward me, just like I am trying to move toward them. They respond to my invitations.
I don't think about the people who are like skeptical or this isn't for me, you know, this isn't the right time. I'm thinking about the person who wants to respond. My best clients love me and they love my work, and your best clients love you and love your work. Sometimes we get in our head that we're annoying people.
You're thinking about the wrong kind of client. Your best client also has the money or will create the money to work with you. Your best clients are advocates for you, they refer. Your best clients are expanded and excited to pay your prize and commit to the work. This is the kind of person that you're allowed to believe is in your audience right now.
And I always ask like, why wouldn't you believe this, that this person exists in your orbit? So often we accidentally think about the predictability, we're thinking about the people who told us no, or that we're too expensive, or that coaching is a scam, or that they hired your friend who's a coach too, or that they're just gonna go get a personal trainer, or they're gonna go to therapy or whatever.
And they're like, coaching's way too expensive. And then we get that in our mind and that's how we see our audience. And you forgot that these people are right there, you just aren't seeing them and aren't speaking to them. So we wanna speak to these kinds of people. In general, control the controllable, and then surrender the uncontrollable your client's timeline.
Even your best clients will have their own timeline that you cannot control or predict. Clients that are dream clients still might not sign when you want them to, but that's where we go into N S I C L, right? Need nothing. We don't need them to sign on a given day in a given time. And this is almost like triggering because you're like, I want to know that my action will create a result.
What I would say is, yes, it will create a result, but maybe not in the timeline that you think. If more coaches committed to the long term, I think they'd find a lot more success, because then in this, we're gonna talk about this threshold. This beginning phase where it looks like nothing's working. Or you raise your prices and then you get five nos in a row or something like that.
It's easy to think something's gone wrong. And then start trying to control things and get obsessed with what they're thinking about you, instead of going back to, how do I need nothing? What do I need to need nothing? How can I serve? Who can I invite? What can I create? All the things within my control.
So in general, I think if I had one job description, it'd be like, your job is to keep showing up long enough for them to find you and be ready for you. I had a client tell me she secretly watched my content but didn't even follow me for 18 months before she hired me. Good thing I kept showing up.
What if I just stopped? Right? If you think about it like a garden, like people are under the surface trying to figure out how to become a good candidate for your coaching. If you stop shining your light, if you stop being a lighthouse, it will never actually become a transformational relationship.
You'll just drift off. And so you have to be here until it works. We see this online where it's like in 30 days or this timeline that people want to sell and it just doesn't work like that cuz just like you are an individual, each client will be an individual.
They have their own marriage problems, they're moving, they have a financial problem. They're already enrolled in a program, but they wanna hire you after they're done with that program. There's so many different things that you don't know what's going on, so your only job is to keep showing up. That's the mind game though, because it's hard when it doesn't look like it's working.
But if you commit to the actions and fall in love with creating the podcast, creating social media, having conversations, and not being attached to anyone, it will become a success for you at some point. It seems like a weak promise. Like at some point you'll be successful, but like you will be, you will get the clients and whatever range of success you want, if you're in it for the long run, you will get there.
So back to predictability. This is hard to explain for me because I don't think this way anymore, but when I was trying to sign clients with predictability, like so and so told me if I do this many posts and make this many calls to action, someone will click the link like ratios and percentages and like I studied like online marketing, you know.
But I felt a lot of urgency and pressure. And it felt almost like too good to be true that I could just like let go of that and just trust. It almost felt like I was doing something wrong. And so I wanted to speak to that, cuz a lot of my clients feel like potentiality, like is this okay? This is okay to just believe that things are working? And I'm like, yes it is, because I love Joe Dispenza's work about looking to the past, or the known, right? If we look at what the people in our audience right now are like, or if we look to the past and try to make things happen from that place, I really feel like we block the creativity. Like I say, creativity, miracles and opportunities that aren't obvious right now. When we look to what's possible and like unpredictable, the people who are following you that like, like all your stuff or the people that have told you they're excited to work with you one day, or someone maybe that had a consult and they're thinking about it and we look at that, we blocked opportunities because we're not open to it.
We think it has to be this certain way, and by choosing to believe in that potentiality, that best client, we open ourselves up and it does require like a next level belief and trust. You have to let go of when and how and just consciously choose to believe. My clients are always coming from places known and unknown.
That's a thought that I choose to think almost every single day. It feels vulnerable because I don't know, but I choose to believe that they are making their way toward me. It is always working. This is a hard one. If you look at your current circumstances and you're like, but it's not Amber. Like it's not working, but then a client will come or you'll get someone to book a consult or something will happen that you didn't know what their experience was like.
So you guys are each having your own experience, right? They're telling their husband about you. They're starting a little savings account. They're like, on my vision board I wanna work with so-and-so this year. That's happening for them and meanwhile you're spinning out thinking it's not working, but it was working the whole time whether you were privy to that information or not, it still was.
It is always working. People want to work with me today. That's a hard one for a lot of people. A lot of people, we're gonna get into this in a little bit, have this macro faith. They believe it's gonna work out one day, they believe the money and the clients and the success is inevitable in the future. If I ask them to believe it today, it's very hard because they're looking at predictability.
They're looking at current evidence instead of believing it's working today. People want this today. And I would argue that's what gets you into doing the uncomfortable stuff, the risky stuff that actually moves your business forward. So micro faith, people on my Instagram are waiting to hear from me today.
People on my email list are excited to read about how they can work with me. This is very different than my success as inevitable. There is one person right now in my orbit ready to work with me. If you just believe that every day and acted on whatever inspiration came to you, you would create clients.
People are finding and sharing and binging my podcast even when I'm not working today. That's a thought that I choose to believe a lot because there's days that I don't work at all. I'm like, people find my podcast today and I'm working even if I'm not working, people are figuring out how they can work with me, people in their power.
Because I think a lot of times we work on the macro faith, which is on the right side. It's all working out. I know my success is inevitable. I know clients are coming one day, money is coming, like I know it's gonna work out, but it gives you a false sense of security in this moment.
And so we chill. We do things that are safe. We repeat the same things over and over again instead of being bold and creating with people or inviting powerfully. And so in general, I'm going to encourage you to choose micro faith over macro faith. I believe in macro faith. I think it's great to believe it's all working out and your success system is inevitable, like I think it keeps you going in the long run.
But in my experience, the risky action, risky meaning you might get rejected today, you might have someone tell you no, you might have someone tell you you're too expensive or unsubscribe from your email list or whatever. That's risky, but the risky action is what moves your business forward.
Like posting and inviting. Like sending a DM to someone that you can't stop thinking about and inviting them to a consult yourself. Things that actually propel things forward instead of keeping you safe in the business. And I see a lot of coaches here where they're posting, and they're waiting, but there's no risk for themselves, no bold action.
And just because we believe in pure potentiality and our best client does not mean bold action isn't required. It is required. My little client creation equation, faith plus time plus relevant personal intimate service, plus nurture relationships, plus powerful invitations equals points.
I think cultivating one-on-one relationships is a very underrated way to grow a one-on-one coaching business. And you can do that on social media, you can do it in person, you can do it through your current network. You can do it with old coworkers, you can do it in Facebook groups. But powerful one-on-one conversations will lead to one-on-one clients.
And so don't overlook just talking to someone. I think in general, the faith and time are probably the most misunderstood because you have to stay in the game long enough for these things to compound. I wanna talk about the threshold because I think that this is a very important understanding, especially if you're in the beginning of your coaching business or if you've been in your coaching business and it feels like you just haven't got traction or haven't overcome enough to, like, it feels easy.
Or like, I've never been fully booked, or it feels just harder. You probably haven't crossed this threshold yet. This is made up. I made this up, but I do believe that it's like a real concept. So in the beginning, before you cross the threshold, what you give is way more than what you get. So I think the mistake would be to judge or compare yourself against a coach who's crossed the threshold.
You know, you've pressed the threshold when you are fully booked, or people are coming to you pretty frequently, where it takes less effort to get the same result. In the beginning, you're gonna have to do more work, more of the nitty gritty grassroots kind of work, where you are having conversations and you're doing consult after consult or post after post.
This is not talked about enough, I believe. This like, it takes a lot more than you expect. Are all coaches like this? No. Some people have a lucky break or maybe they are exposed to a bigger audience or something happens where this period of their business goes quickly. Mine lasted probably about 18 months where I was doing a lot more action than I would observe other mentors or other coaches doing.
It was like, they can make like one post and get 15 calls booked or like, have a $50,000 launch off of like that. It didn't make sense to me, but what I realized is they had crossed the threshold, I had not crossed yet. So I had to put more in, so I could get more out later. And so this is what it looked like to use the garden metaphor again.
It's like this is where you're planting seeds and not collecting any fruit or vegetables. This is where you're out in the hot sun doing work and not enjoying the fruits of your labor yet. The biggest mistake here would to be to quit because you think you're not good enough, because you think something's wrong with you.
Because maybe it's like, I don't really want to be a coach anyway. Some sneaky thought that gets you to quit or just hide. Maybe you're not emotionally involved as you once were because you're like, I'm gonna protect myself. I don't wanna be disappointed.
I think that's the danger of before the threshold. After the threshold, less work is required. And that's good news. If you're in this beginning phase where you're like, there's a lot of work to be done. It's like, yeah, there is, but not forever. This is a season. There will come a season where one email will create clients for you.
There will come a season where you're fully booked with a wait list, but you have to do the work and putting more in than you're taking out until you cross the threshold. And I say that less work is needed to get results because of compounding returns. The law of compound interest works in your favor, right?
Sometimes I'll coach people who have a brand new Instagram account and they're frustrated that they're not getting results, and I'm like, do you know how many posts I've made over time? Right? It's not like I just showed up today. I've been doing this for a long time. I did this phase where I was giving more than I was getting, and I continued to do it through the threshold.
And so hopefully this gives you peace of mind. You're not doing it wrong. If you feel like you're giving way more than you're getting. Or like if you see someone who does the same thing as you, like this was where I started to notice it. I did the same thing, but we got very different results. Like, what's that about?
And then I think the thought error would be, I must not be liked like her. I must have something different. Like I'm not as interesting or I'm not as powerful, or I don't have the right niche. That's the thought error. Instead of recognizing, there probably are more factors that play than you even realize.
And so if you haven't crossed the threshold yet, the things that I would commit to is serving more than you think you need to. Creating more value than you believe is necessary, needing nothing. And that's like a hard pill to swallow because I think we want to get something back because we're like, I'm slaving away at my computer.
Or like, I'm doing so many free calls, like when is it gonna work? And that's hard. The phrase that you hear a lot in our industry is like, there's a low bar for entry and a high bar for success, and this is it. I think of this phase almost like an internship phase. Like you have to almost like pay your dues.
That sounds kind of snarky. But in this phase I was looking at it as like I'm becoming the kind of person who does what it takes and to learn how to have a heart of service, before any results come. That was the lesson I learned that I still carry with me. So I can serve without attachment, it's not a transaction like I'm really just serving.
And if you've passed the threshold, you probably have noticed. The effort it takes to create results is less than it used to be. Not that we stopped doing things, it's just a different experience. And I think the higher and more time and the more value you become, the less work is needed because it's about your relationship with people and your reputation as a coach before people even meet you.
So putting it all together, what does this mean? What do you need to need nothing? That question I'm coming back to, because this shows up in every part of your business. When you're about to record a podcast and you're nervous that people aren't gonna like it, how can you let go of that and need nothing from this podcast?
When you're on a consult and you're about to share your price and you're really nervous. And you're like almost gonna offer your old price cuz you're nervous to offer your new price, what do you need to need nothing? It's a really powerful concept.
Who is your best client and pure potentiality. This is something that I would revisit a lot and spend time really believing that she's in your awareness, in your world, even if you don't know her, even if it is not in your awareness. Be committed to showing up until you cross the threshold, that's a hard one. I wish more coaches understood it because I think when we started our business, we have unconscious incompetence, right?
We don't even know what we don't know. So we're really excited. I remember calling my mom, early on, I was like, mom, I'm gonna make a million dollars. And she was like, what? I think I had listened to like a Jody Moore podcast or something and I was like, I could do this. I was like six months into my business.
But I was naive in a good way, right? I was like believing in total possibilities. And I was like, I can do this, but what I didn't know I didn't know. So once I start discovering different things, then it's conscious incompetence. There's things that I know I don't know. And in this phase, a lot of coaches start to doubt themselves, even though it's like the same level.
You start to doubt yourself more because now you're aware of the things you don't know. Don't let that throw you. Commit to the N S I C L and just trust you'll learn the things that you need to know along the way. Have micro faith. I’m not against macro faith, but I think micro faith moves things more quickly because you're willing to do things that have a risk involved, which are the best kinds of activities.
Sending an email to your list is very different than you consuming a podcast. Making a bold invitation to a coworker that you can't stop thinking about who might be a good fit for coaching is very different than throwing up a post on social media. In general, I tend to lean towards the riskier action, which requires micro faith, like this is gonna work.
There's someone in my social media that wants to see me talk about my offer today. Micro faith. Serve without a secret hope for a transaction from specific people. Sometimes this happens where it's like you develop relationships where they know you, they're in predictability. Like you're talking often they love your posts.
Maybe they've come to all your free events or they share your stuff on social media. It might be a lot of different things, but there's a specific person in mind. You probably all have someone coming to mind and it can be easy to slip into like, are you gonna like work with me?
Are you gonna like book a consult? That secret hope. And it's not bad. This isn't like a bad thing, but I think it can distract you from going back into peer potentiality and serving by needing nothing. I think one of the reasons that clients feel comfortable coming to me, a year after our first meeting or whatever, is because I try really hard not to have this secret hope.
Not that I don't want it, but I'm not attached to it. I'm not secretly wishing that they would talk to me about working together. I'm genuinely just serving and loving and being me in the world. Make powerful invitations often to your audience and to individuals. I think the individual piece is really interesting.
One of the pathways I want you to consider is your personal relationships with people. Like, I think it's totally okay to send a message to someone and be like, I can't get you off my mind. Like, I know we've had conversations in the past. Would you be interested in talking about coaching? Risky. But powerful.
And obviously to your audience, to your list on social media. But if you've been doing that a lot, try personal reach outs where you're like inviting them to a coaching experience from a place of needing nothing. Cuz then if they say no, you didn't need anything in the first place. But I think it's a powerful way to move your business forward.
Next one, stop trying to predict how or when clients will hire you. I think that's a really hard thing to commit to. I wish I could be the person that's like, well, if you do X, Y, Z, you will sign a client within 30 days. And I think there's ways to do that for sure.
Some of them I don't love, right? I don't like putting high stakes, high pressure on people. And if that resonates with you, that's okay. Like I know some people who love really selling hard and overcoming objections, and that's not a bad way. It's just not the way that resonates with me. And so one of the things that I had to do, and what I'm sharing here is like, you have to let go of how or when, and that requires a lot of faith and a lot of trust.
And what will help you feel better is if you commit to the N S I C L framework. It's not like you're like giving up. You're not resigned. You are actively engaged, but you also totally trust people to take you up when they're ready. Questions for you to ponder. Cause I've been giving you these questions, you know, hopefully you've actually been thinking about it.
Are you here to see if this coaching thing works? Or are you here until it works? This is a huge distinction. All the coaches that I know that have made it, never gave themselves another option. They were a coach and they were gonna figure it out. I think the mistake would be like, well, we'll see how it goes.
We'll see. That's not gonna create the results because the amount of rejection, the amount of misunderstanding, the amount of people you're gonna talk to, and it's not gonna lead anywhere, can really throw you. I don't know any coaches who don't get any no’s. I've never met a coach who's like, I only get yeses.
That's not how this game works. And so being here until it works means you're gonna move through failure without losing your optimism, without losing your love of people, without losing your belief in the miracle of coaching. And so that until it works, it's like a resonant feeling in your body, like commitment.
Number two, are you showing up where your clients already are? This is one of those overlooked ones I think. For example, I have a couple clients in the Matrix who, one of them coaches doctors, and we were talking about marketing and she's like, do you think I should show up on Instagram? And I was like, is that where they are? She's like, no, I think they're on LinkedIn, I was like, then I think you should be on LinkedIn.
So sometimes we forget, there's lots of places. Going to events maybe is like one that you've overlooked, or LinkedIn if you work with professionals. Very subtle things, but also make a huge difference. So are you showing up where your clients already are hanging out?
Are you giving without expectation? And that's something that only you can know because no one can see your expectations, but you experience them in your own mind. Do you believe your best clients find you? This is a belief that you could just choose to adopt today? Yeah. My best clients find me. They reach out to me.
Number five, where are you trying to control your client's timeline? How can you surrender that? Another thing that only you can know is, are you trying to control people's timeline? So I'll give you an example. I had a client, she messaged me because her consult, it was interesting, like the end of the consult, as a heck yes.
And then she emailed her kind of like having resistance, which is, it happens, right? Like maybe they weren't actually a yes on the consult. And so she's like, what do I do? Like, do I give her like a deadline? And for me, that's like giving my client a deadline when it's not real, when I actually don't have an actual deadline.
Doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel totally in integrity to me. So I asked her like, how does that feel to you to offer a deadline? She's like, it feels like I'm trying to control her. And I was like, is that how you want to be as a coach? And she's like, absolutely not. And so she chose to handle it a different way where she's like, that's okay.
If it's a no for now, we're just gonna call it a no for now. Let me know if that ever changes, that was her response. And then the client came back, she's like, you writing that made it really clear, I'm not a no for now. Send me the payment link. I'm ready. Not that always happens, but I think giving our clients space to make powerful decisions comes from you not trying to control them or their actions.
Just truly like putting out the invitations without expectation, without trying to micromanage their timeline. Not that we don't lead. So that L in the framework lead through the yes, like we do lead them, but sometimes that help is showing them you're actually a no for now, and that's okay. But if they are a yes, you can help them make the powerful decision.
Number six, I think is a very, very important one in general for everything you want to create in life is how can you commit to the activities instead of committing to the results. I had a private call this week, so this is not my statement. She said, I'm making myself the constant. And I was like, I'm putting that in my slide, that is so good.
If you are the constant in your business, you get to keep your personal power. You're not gonna be swayed or thrown when things don't happen when you want them to. You're not gonna be worried or obsessing in your private life. You can turn your work brain off and enjoy things because you know you're responsible for what you're responsible for and you can trust and lean back because you're the constant.
Your belief, your action, the way you be in the world is the constant. Your clients, your revenue is not the constant. It will do this. That's how nature works. It's like silly to think that your business will always just increase forever. That's not how it is, but you can be the constant, and in my life and business, N S I C L is my constant.
I just come back to that. Instead of committing to the results. And I see this, it's like if I sign clients, I believe in my business. I'm happy. I believe in myself as a coach and my clients have breakthroughs. Instead of believing these things, no matter what, regardless of circumstances. This is part of us walking our walk as a coach, right?
This is what we help people do in their life. So you have to do this for your business. Part of taking your own medicine. Like if you're helping a client be loving and compassionate in their marriage, no matter what, then your example, the way that you're gonna understand this in a really intimate way is doing this in your business.
If you're helping a client commit to a nutrition plan, no matter what, it's that idea. It's like I am the constant, things don't change. I'm the cause. That's another way that I like to think about it. If my business is the effect, I am the cause of that effect because of what I choose to do and what I choose to think and what I choose to believe. It's powerful.
My next question, and we're gonna talk about how I can support you as well, but just in general, who is supporting you? Who is doing for you what you do for others? In the prosperous coach, he talks about getting a coach, and I really love this too, just to keep you in check. For me, like having a coach has really helped me come back to my values and come back to I can trust myself to make powerful decisions.
And when I start making it about me coming back to not making it about me. And so I want you to consider these questions, but also these questions like, what do you need to need nothing? Who's your best client? Peer potentiality. As an exercise for yourself, I encourage you at the beginning of this call not to just listen to what I have to say, for agreement.
You might think these are good ideas and that's great, it makes my ego very happy that you like my ideas. And what I'm way more interested in is like, what does this actually mean for your business? Because that's where the magic is. In fact, if you like listen to my podcast, I'm always like, don't just listen to this episode. Actually do something with this information because I think one of my weaknesses, and this is why I speak to it, is sometimes I will consume and consume and consume and be the same person. I wasted a lot of time. I know a lot of things in my head intellectually, but that doesn't make a difference until it's an embodied or integrated or applied. Nothing changes.
And so I would take some time. If you're serious about making your business thriving, whatever your goals are for your coaching business, like what are you actually gonna take away from these three days together, and apply. Because that's the magic. It is not just listening. I was actually talking to a coach friend. He was like, sometimes people think coming to calls is working on their business.
Coming to a call like this or going to a group program call. He's like, that's not actually working on your business. And I laugh cuz like, it's so true. Because it's part of it, it only works if you work it. If you take the information and internalize it and change your behavior, change your action, change the way you actually think.
Probably all of you guys have your own coaching origin story, right? Where you're like, my life was changed from coaching. I know I do. And it came from applying the work. I'll never forget it. My husband was going out of town. I had this like secret wife resentment going on, and he told me he was going outta town.
And the first thought that came into my head was like, you always get to do what you want and I have to stay here with the kids. And I had been studying like, intentional thoughts. So I like made a passive aggressive comment and walked away. And then as I was walking away, just this little thought was like, you can think something different.
What would you like to think? It can almost makes me emotional. I felt so free. I could choose my experience no matter what was going on. And I was like, I could just choose to be happy for him. And I turned around and I went and kissed him and I was like, you know what? I'm actually really excited for you to do this.
And he's like, what is happening? I was like, no. Like I'm genuinely excited for you. And that was when I really got the power of coaching right? That I could choose my thought because I applied it. I have lots of ideas from my business where I had that moment. Another example, I had a consult with someone. They were a yes, but I was taught by Rich Lipton. Right? Like in the book, the Prospers coach, challenge their yes. I was like, are you sure? This seems like we're moving really fast. I know this is a big commitment. She was like, yes. Send me the link. I wanna get started.
I was like, okay. Send her the email follow up and then didn't hear from her for like weeks. When I was like, hey, this is where I get to embody what I teach, what I want my clients to understand, what I actually want to live is like detachment, needing nothing. And so I remember just like, I'm gonna release that.
Like I'm not gonna worry about it. I'm not gonna try to control her. I'm just gonna believe like there's still clients and peer potentiality. And I made that conscious effort to let go. And I felt it in my body, the release of control. Cuz for weeks I was like, she told me, she said yes. Like, she's gonna pay.
Like I don't know what to do. And then literally I went to sleep feeling just peace and I woke up and she had paid that night. I didn't say anything, but she did. There's things beyond our understanding that happen when we do this. When we release the control we put on our clients. And so, like I said, this work isn't gonna change because I said it. Because I say these things, your business isn't gonna boom.
I have no idea what your business is gonna do, but I know for sure if you don't apply these things, nothing will change. And so whatever you're taking away, even if it's like the tiniest little thing, my hope is that it's integrated for you, that you're applying it. And so I mentioned who is supporting you.
I wanted to take a second and talk about the Matrix, cuz it's opening today. Some of you're on the waitlist, you'll get an email first, which is exciting. The reason I created the Matrix is because I saw a problem where there was a lot of courses and hands-off support. This is not a course. The matrix is very hands-on.
There's ask Amber for anything calls, coworking calls, content creation calls, and life teaching every single month. There's a Slack channel. Like I'm available because some of the things that we talked about, it's not like a one and done. We need the integration and the implementation. I'm on your team and we're gonna do this work together. That's why I created the Matrix. So there's the vault and stuff, but I think that's more contenty. I think what makes it unique is there's hands-on, like content creation calls. I have clients come and like we work through posts, podcasts, sales pages, like how to launch with content, things like that, where it's like, I'm doing it with you, I'm not just teaching.
Which is, I think, really cool because like we talked about, it doesn't matter what you know, it matters what you do with what you know. And that's what we do inside the Matrix. You will not be left behind or lost in the sea of numbers. And like I said, this isn't about education.
This is about implementation. I really love the Model Be, Do, Have. I didn't really talk about it in this masterclass, but you've probably heard me talk about it. If you follow along on my content. Because I really think that entrepreneurship is the ultimate game of personal development, and it's who you become.
And like I said earlier, you are the cause of your business. Your being, your belief, your identity, and from that place, that's what creates the coaching business that actually resonates with you and your vision and your values. I believe coaching creates miracles and I created the Matrix because one, I love coaching. I love coaches and I wanted to give people a place, not just to learn more content, but to like, actually implement and do the work together. And I created it for 12 months because I actually think you need a longer time horizon than you think. So that's my spiel you guys. Thank you. Thank you for being a part of this week. Thank you for being a coach.
That sounds kind of cheesy, but like I have family members that don't understand what I do, and I'm always like, I hope a coach can reach them because I really believe that the way that you iterate, the way that you explain concepts is unique enough that there will people that only resonate with you peer potentiality, right?
The people that maybe you don't even know and like, what if you didn't show up for that person? You just don't know what's gonna happen. I really believe that you can impact people in a singular way. That you are that one person for them. That the way you talk, your message, your story, the way you explain coaching concepts is gonna be perfect for that person.
And that's why we do what we do, because this is about service. So thank you for being a part of this masterclass. Thanks for hanging out with me for these three days. If you have any questions, you can email [email protected]. The replay will be available this afternoon and it's yours forever. It won't disappear.
In fact, I think I'm gonna put the audio on my podcast, and if you are interested in the matrix, the doors are opening today at 3:00 PM. So exciting stuff. All right, you guys, thank you for being here. Have a beautiful day. I will talk to you guys soon.
