WHAT RESONATES
Hey you guys, welcome back to the podcast. I hope you're having a great day or evening or morning or drive or walk. However, we're hanging out together on this podcast. I hope it's going well. And as always, I'm excited for what we're gonna talk about today.
A lot of my podcasts recently have come from conversations with clients, a lot of my clients have commented, was that about me? Which is great cuz a lot of them are going through similar journeys and so there's themes that are coming up in my sessions, like being unrelatable, which was the last episode. And today I'm calling it “What Resonates” because a lot of my clients are discerning for themselves approaches and strategies, ways of being in their business and life in a way that deeply resonates with them.
And they're realizing the way that they've been doing it in the past didn't resonate. And I was thinking about this cuz I was like, I wanna talk about this. What does this even mean? What does resonate even mean? I knew it, but I was really curious about the definition. So I looked it up in preparation for today and the definition that I'm using, there's a lot of technical and electrical meaning for resonance, but to resonate means to have a particular meaning or importance for someone, to affect or appeal to someone in a personal or emotional way.
And I was thinking about what that means in business and just your approach in building something, it's like, does this resonate with me? And I think it takes a certain level of self-awareness to even know if it does. And sometimes, especially if you're a really good student or if you're really good at following directions, if you're really good at listening to a teacher or a mentor and following and executing their way of doing things, this can be confusing.
This is not a diss at teachers and mentors who teach you how to do stuff a very specific way. I think there's a lot of ways to do anything. What I'm curious about is like, does it resonate with you? And so if you resonate with being a good student and following directions, dismiss this episode.
This episode is for people who maybe are trying to trust themselves, that the way that they want to do things can work and that they have good ideas, as they discern what resonates for them. And so I have a few questions that I'm gonna ask, and I do recommend just sitting with them, journaling, whatever, pause this. Feel free to pause this and come back to it, as you're figuring out what resonates with you, because I think it's easy to look to external sources, specifically people with authority to tell us what to do, how to sign clients, how to run a business, what boundaries to hold, what to charge, what to offer, how to talk about your offers, where to meet people.
And I'm always pointing my clients back to themselves because I trust their own wisdom. I trust their innate genius. And I think the problem for most people is that they don't trust their innate genius. And so they go and do things that aren't necessarily something they love or something that resonates.
And then they come back later and they're like, I knew that this wasn't gonna work, I didn't like it. Right? And they're like, I should have trusted myself. I should have trusted my gut. And these questions that I'm gonna ask, I hope will help you decipher for yourself what resonates for you.
And these are hard questions, these are not questions that you just like, I don't know, listen and then go out about your day, not if you want to do this work seriously.
The first one, when I'm not comparing myself to anyone, what do I want? Another way of asking this question is, if I was the last person on earth, would I still want this?
When I asked myself this question, it became super clear the things that I wanted, you know, it was obvious it had nothing to do with other people. It had nothing to do with status. It had nothing to do with what I thought other people thought of me. It was a true desire. So I'm gonna ask you that again, when I'm not comparing myself to anyone, what do I want?
The second question that I have is when I'm not thinking that they, in quotes, they know better, what do I want? And I'm applying this to business, but truly you could apply this to anything.
Third question, if I can't mess this up, what do I actually want?
And the fourth question, if I couldn't fail, what would I want? This is how you tell yourself the truth. If you really sit with these questions, you're gonna find things out about yourself that maybe you haven't confronted before. I think it's easy in our world of gurus and influencers and loud voices online, that are saying, this is the way I have the secret, or whatever.
It can be easy to lose your own voice or stop hearing the own quiet voice that you have about what you really want. Because sometimes it might be to make money and grow your business, but sometimes it might be rest. Sometimes it might be, I really wanna push in this season that feels good to me.
I've had seasons like that where I take a lot of massive action because I wanted to, not because I thought I needed to, not because I thought it was the right way, because someone told me. I just wanted to. And it's always been powerful when I listen to myself and what resonates with me truthfully, and act on it, I get results that make sense.
And I really feel like I created because I was listening to myself. Now, that's not to say you don't need strategy and support and tactics and mindset work from other people as a support, as a way of supporting you. Like you are the leader in your own life and you pick and choose people to support your mission through what I'm calling the filter.
I think all of us need a filter. So I have more questions for you to try on, cuz I don't know what your filter is. I know what my filter is. I got that filter through asking these questions. So when I listen to a piece of content, when I buy a program and the coach or mentor is telling me to do certain things, when I hear a new hack or a new approach, I try it on and run it through this filter.
This is the filter: Is this me? And that sounds like an obvious silly question, but like you can tell, based on how you feel based on resonance inside, if it resonates for you. Next question, is this helping me with my true goals? To me, true goals speak way more than like I wanna make seven figures in a year.
True goals usually have to do with who you want to be, right? I want to be this kind of person. Which is a different way of thinking. It's not that you don't have money goals, it's just like, what is the true underlying goals? Do you want freedom? Do you want impact? Do you want love? Do you want joy? Do you want fulfillment?
Those are usually the things that line up with true goals. And so when I hear a piece of content or I hear someone who's super famous online, say something, I run it through that, like, is this helping me with my true goals? The next question, is this in alignment with my personal values? Is this the way that I want to run my life?
If vision is where we're going, values is how we get there. And those are the tactics and strategies that lots of people talk about. I wanna make sure that the tactics and strategies that I'm using resonate with me in the form of my personal values, that they're in alignment with my personal values.
The last question, does this feel good? Does this resonate? Resonance is an emotional experience in your body where it just feels right. It's hard to explain, except you've probably experienced it, and you know what I'm talking about. When something deeply resonates with you, you feel it. It's not something you can explain with your mind, it just feels right.
Learning to trust that feeling is so important. Also, I think there's this other side of the coin. Sometimes we have to be really honest with ourselves about what's working and what's not. So I could ask a client what really feels right is never showing up for my business because I feel safer.
And if I were to challenge that, they would say, okay, you're right. That doesn't actually feel good. Because it's not creating the result that I want. So it's not that we never experience discomfort or we never experience things that make us feel nervous. Like I taught a masterclass this week and it made me kind of nervous sometimes. That doesn't mean that it was wrong.
It means that I'm an introvert doing an extroverted thing and I'm kind of nervous. And that's okay. To me, it's like that deeper level of understanding, the resonance, the emotional “aha,” that this is what I want. This is what works for me. This is actually how I see my life going.
But let your answer be whatever it is. I've talked to multiple people this week who are like, I don't want a big team. And some of their mentors have a big team. I know for me, I went through this for sure, where I realized I never wanted this a multimillion dollar corporation where I wasn't coaching. I love coaching and I want to be a coach.
That doesn't mean that I won't have different ways of working with me, but primarily I am a coach and so I wanted a more of a boutique style business and a lot of my people resonate with that and come to me to help them do that. That doesn't mean it's the right way. It means it's the right way for me.
Because it resonates. Will it always resonate? I don't know, but right now it does. And so that's what I'm acting on. And I got there by asking myself some of these hard questions, right? If I'm not comparing myself to anyone, what do I want? When I'm not thinking that they know better, What do I want? If I can't mess this up, what do I actually want? If I can't fail, what do I want? And then I let my truth, exposed on paper, dictate where I move next and what decisions I make and the things that I offer and the things that I do in my business all come from that place because my ideas, I can trust what I want matters. I would argue that what you want is good for the world.
You have good ideas and you have wisdom that you can trust. Yes, like I said, there's strategies and tactics. I still invest in myself heavily, but I do it with a filter. I listen for things that I could do better. I listen for strategies that might work better for me, but it's always through my filter of like, is this helping me with my true goals?
Is this something that I actually believe in? Is this in alignment with my values? Does this resonate with me? Is this me? And so knowing what you want and then filtering all the other information through those series of questions is gonna be really powerful for you. This is one of those things that it's powerful in practice.
It's not powerful just because you listen to this podcast. It's powerful if you really take these questions and consider them and ponder them. That's what I hope you do. I hope you have a beautiful Friday or whenever you're listening to this, this is when that episode will come out on Friday, and I'll talk to you soon. Okay. Bye.
