Hey, you guys, welcome back to another episode of the Conscious Coach podcast. If you are new, I'm especially excited that you're listening to this episode.
And if you've been an OG listener, welcome back. I'm really excited for today's content. I'm calling it Life's Work vs. Work Life - 9 Questions for a High Impact Life, and I really love these questions.
And I'm gonna share them with you and obviously just give you some stories and thoughts to go with it as you consider your high impact life.
Most entrepreneurs, and this is why I love our community, is yes, we wanna succeed in business, but we also wanna be the best we can be. Right? We wanna be amazing mothers.
We wanna be amazing wives. We wanna be amazing friends. We wanna be amazing in our communities. We wanna develop ourselves personally in our own character traits and beliefs and habits. And I just love that about us.
And so I know most of you want a high impact life, not just online. Right? Not just with an online business, but with your family members with people you come in contact with, you wanna make a difference.
And so I hope these questions cause you to reflect, give you some insight. This is a form of self coaching, and so I hope that you, I don't know, come along for the ride, but also to actually ponder these questions and to kind of give yourself a little audit.
Not from a place of judgment, just sound curiosity and observation.
I think all of us have this inkling that we can do better, and that's part of our own expansion. Right? Like, it's not because we're bad. It's because there's more we can give. There's more we can offer.
There's more we can become. And that is the premise of these questions. It's not because I think we're bad. Or not enough. I think that there's just another level we can always reach for, and that's part of high performance.
And I resonate with the intersection of high performance, spirituality, and entrepreneurship. I really resonate right in the middle of those three things. And so I think you're gonna enjoy today's episode.
So let's just jump right in. The first question I have is about integrity. And it's kind of twofold. So let me ask the first one, and then I'll share a second part to it. If my client walked in, would I be proud of how I was acting?
And then the second part of that is if my daughter or husband listened to my coaching, the stories I'm telling my clients, would they agree or would they resonate with what I'm saying?
And to me, this is about being who I am no matter where I am. Right? I don't wanna act one way with a client and then a different way with my family.
I don't wanna be super energetic and positive in my business and negative Nelly in my family life. Don't wanna be super believing in possibilities for my financial life and not believing possibilities as a mom.
And so to me being an integrity means that I am who I am no matter where I am and no matter what I'm doing. No. Obviously, the vocabulary I use with my client is different than the vocabulary I use with my 4 year old.
The way I treat my client is different than how I'd treat a stranger on social media. I would still be kind, but maybe I'd give more attention, more time to a paying client.
But who I am being in all those scenarios is the same. I like to think of character traits, ways of being, thoughts that I think, emotions that I feel, and love that I give as being part of what it means to be an integrity.
I am the same person, and I think that this is one of the most beautiful compliments I've ever gotten is like, the way that you show up on social media is how you show up in person. And I'm like, yeah. Like, I don't pretend.
You know, I've tried to be generous in loving and kind and thoughtful no matter where I am. And so I really like thinking about that. I also think that as a coach, part of being an integrity means that I live what I teach.
Right? And so the second question I'm gonna offer in this series is, am I a walking embodiment of what I teach. If I teach my clients how to believe, how to not be anxious about their results, to take action, to trust and surrender.
I better be living those things. If I teach about alignment and doing the inner work, I better be doing those things.
And that's why I have no fear for my clients because I am constantly actually doing the work myself. Right? Fueling my mind, choosing beliefs on purpose, investing big in myself, being all in on my vision.
And so I feel like that helps me be able to coach. And one thing that I know for sure is that if your business feels stuck, and it's been stuck for a long time.
One of the things that I would check-in with yourself is where am I out of integrity with what I teach? Is there anything that you can correct?
Not because you're bad? Not because you're messed up. That's not where it's coming from. It's an alignment issue where it's like, you teach this stuff, are you living it? Are you living it most of the time?
And not from a place of judgment, but I think using this as a tool will help you understand where you can improve. Because for me, I would never want my client to witness me doing something that's the opposite of what I teach them.
If I say go all in and put effort into your business and then relax with your family and turn your brain off, I better be doing those things. Right?
And if I say you can have it all, which I do, a lot, where you could have the family life and the marriage and the business and the finances and the traveling and the peace of mind, I better have learned to have all of those things.
And so I think part of this work is being self aware, so that we know when we're out of integrity, but it's also just noticing the things that you share with your clients and checking with yourself are these things that I've mastered.
And mastered being the, kind of an interesting word because we're always mastering.
Right? I love this definition of mastery from the book, The Way of Mastery. And it's like, he says, The only difference between a master and a student is that the master has mastered the art of always being a student.
And so in case you are judging yourself that you're not a master, that's the definition that I like to think of as, like, am I actively working on this?
Am I really prioritizing this in my life if I'm telling my client to prioritize it in their life. Okay. Number 3, do I believe my effort is enough?
This is a really good question because I think about in Genesis, we learned about how God created the world, you know. And at the end of all His creations, He would say, It is good. And what I've noticed is we struggle with this as humans.
It's like we leave the book open. Like, we don't know if we did enough. So it's like, I posted on social media, I wrote an email, I recorded a podcast, and I left the door open in my mind where I still don't know if that was enough.
Instead of looking at what you did and calling it good, declaring it good. And so this is why this question can be misleading because it's like, I'm not asking is your enough, I'm asking, are you believing that your effort is enough?
And when you believe that it's enough, magic happens. When you really believe that you did all you can do and that it is work magic happens.
So part of our work I think is to take action and then to also declare it that my action is enough to create the results that I want. I'm gonna go live my life. I'm gonna go turn my work brain off and enjoy being with my kids.
I'm going to relax. I'm gonna watch a show. I'm gonna read a book for fun. I'm gonna go on a walk. I'm gonna stop obsessing about results in my business because I believe it's working, I believe my effort is enough.
This can do wonders for your mental health in business. I really believe this, that you can take time away mentally from working in your mind. Right?
I think a lot of us would agree that it's easy to slip into working in your mind where you to problem solve or think of content or think about the client that reached out to you 3 weeks ago and wonder if they're gonna pay their invoice or whatever the drama is that's going on in your mind.
I think part of our work is to really close the mental tabs. And so this is a belief thing. Right? If you believe that your effort is enough and you declare it to be so, you have that closure so you can enjoy the rest of your life.
I think this is a really important piece for entrepreneurs. Number 4. Am I prioritizing the right things? This kind of one of those questions that if you're not, it's gonna feel like a punch in your gut.
And I read an email from Rich Litvin a few days ago that I really love, and he talked about the difference between resume goals and eulogy goals. And I was like, oh my gosh, that is so good.
Resume goals, I think of, like, things that I care about my business growth, the numbers I hit, the amount of clients I serve, things I wanna do as a thought leader and as a coach and as an entrepreneur.
And then there's eulogy goals, which has to do with my family. Right? When I think of my funeral, whenever I pass, They're not gonna care about my business goals.
They're gonna care about me. Right? And the love that I showed and the presence that I brought into her home and the conversations we had. And so this puts everything into perspective for me.
Social media means nothing compared to conversations I have with my kids after school. The amount of followers I have, the amount of downloads I have on this podcast, like, they matter, but in the grand scheme of things, do they really?
And so I think when I ask myself am I prioritizing the right things, sometimes I get truth come to me where it's like you're gonna spend more time with this daughter.
You need to stop working so much. You need to take better care of your health.
You need to prioritize eating better or whatever it is. Your higher self will know the answers. And so even just creating the space to ask this question, you will be shocked at the wisdom that comes through.
Am I prioritizing the right things? And sometimes, this is how I know I am because my answer is yes. And I've been in that phase lately where if I ask myself this question, honestly, I would say, yes, I am.
Like, I really feel like I'm prioritizing the right things and that feels good. Something to consider. Number 5, where am I holding back?
Oh, man. I have history with this question because most of my life, I would give, like, 80 to 90 percent of my effort because I was driven by my ego, the spiritual ego, right, where I wanted to protect my identity.
I didn't want to be seen as weak. I didn't want to be seen as I’m good enough. And so I would give 80 to 90 percent because then if I lost the game in basketball or I didn't get the client or I didn't hit my number that I won to hit? I had this form of protection.
Well, I didn't give a hundred percent. So that's why it didn't work. Because I think in my mind, the worst thing that in the world was like, I give a hundred percent and I still don't get the result that I wanted.
And I was really afraid of what that would mean about me, and so I would hold back. And I see my clients doing this.
They're withholding some of their energy and their belief because they're afraid if they go all in, they give everything they've got and they believe a hundred percent and at the end of the month, they still didn't hit the goal that they wanted or they didn't attend the client that they wanted, that means something about them.
And so I really like this question because it shows you where your belief is and it shows you where your relationship with yourself is.
What I've learned is I go all in. I feel that right now. I feel it's like buzzing energy in my business and it feels really good like I'm all in. I have a big vision and I am all in and it's vulnerable. It's risky to be all in.
And so I think part of this is really developing a relationship with yourself that you're okay inside. I don't need anyone to validate that. So me holding back, it has to do with my relationship with myself, not with anyone else.
Who cares what they think? What do I think? And I think for me leaving it all on the floor, that expression going all in, giving it all I have isn't a hustley thing. It's like an intention thing.
It's an energy thing where I'm like really here and I'm really putting my effort and energy into building something and I'm believing and that feels risky sometimes. But I think if I ask myself, where am I holding back?
It shows me my fear. We hold back because of fear. And if you have fear, that's where we wanna go. Right? We don't wanna go into masculine action. We want to heal where we feel the fear so that the masculine action makes sense.
And this is really what I do with my clients. We go into the fear so that the action makes sense. Instead of trying to avoid the fear and covering it up with more action.
That just is the quickest path to burn out. And so I really love that question to sit with. Number 6, where did I stop believing in possibilities? This is another gut puncher. I have a lot of gut punching questions in this episode.
So hopefully, you know, you're here for it. But I think that this is something that I wish I asked myself more like I would say a couple years ago because when I do believe in possibilities, I'm energized, I'm on fire.
I'm speaking things into existence. I'm believing. I'm ready. I create miracles when I believe in possibilities.
When I try to be what's predictable, and this is just something to consider. When we try to do what's predictable, we very much block off new possibilities, new exciting things happening beyond our control in a good way.
And I think personally, as coaches, this is what our job description is, is we believe in possibilities for people. And that starts with you.
And so when I'm stopped believing in possibilities, either I'm really tired. This is something that's accurate, my 2 year old doesn't sleep very well, and I sleep with her at night because my husband has to wake up early to go to work.
And I remember sometimes it's like, I stop believing in possibilities because I'm tired. And so I need to sleep. Alright. It has nothing to do with my mind, that has everything to do with my body.
Sometimes I stop believing in possibilities because I stopped investing in myself. I went through a period between programs where I didn't have a coach or a mentor that I was actively working with.
And I definitely, like, not intentionally, but kind of just drifted. I wasn't as driven. I wasn't as focused on my goals. I wasn't as focused on my vision.
And so I really like having a coach to hold me accountable to the possibilities in the vision that I have. Part of our work is to remind ourselves that we do in fact believe in possibilities and potentialities.
I'm getting ready to, we're gonna do quantum play in the matrix in April, which I love. I love talking about the quantum field and miracles. And it's just such a good conversation.
And so as I've been preparing to lead that program, I've been witnessing miracles in my own life and business, things just happening so fast at warp speed, and it reminded me how grateful I am that I believe in possibility and potentiality that I don't look for what's predictable.
And so if you've been feeling stagnant in your business, ask yourself, where did you stop believing in possibilities?
Where did you start trying to do what's predictable instead of what's possible? Number 7, what does my future self think about this?
This is where I find most of my peace because my future self who's figured everything out and has all the results that I want. She looks back at this time and she's like, oh, you're so cute. Like, look at your anxiety about that.
Oh, look at your doubt about that. Like, it all works out. Right? She has so much wisdom for me. And so I really like thinking about, what does my future self think about this? I do this on a micro level and a macro level.
If I'm going through a difficult problem with the client or people default on their payment or I have to make a decision about a program I'm gonna launch or timing of a master class or whatever.
Sometimes if I feel stuck or unclear, I say, what do you think about this?
And it's always like chill out. You're fine. Or maybe it's like, hey, this is how I would handle it with love. So you have no regrets. Something like that. And I think that it's a useful tool to think about our future selves.
Number 8. What is draining my energy? I heard this on a great podcast by Rich Liven. He said if he could only use one tool for the rest of his business, he would do an energy audit with his clients.
And I was, like, interesting because, like, of all the tools that's the tool he would use. It's like, what's draining my energy? And what's giving me energy? And that's actually the question that's number 9 is what is giving the energy?
And what's interesting to me is this is where I got a lot of clarity about outsourcing, about my first hire, the first thing that I needed to pay for support with.
Like, what is draining my energy? It was cleaning my house, and so I hired someone to support me in cleaning my house every month.
I ironically started making way more money after that. Because it unlocked a new level of clarity about who I am, my gifts, my zone of genius, and also the kind of life that I wanted, I loved paying for support.
And I'm really grateful for it. And so it's interesting, draining my energy often will indicate where I need to ask for help, where I need to pay for help, where I need to look for more support?
And then the ninth question is what is giving me energy is very essential for me. If you have studied human design, I recommend that you do. It's been very useful for me to study my own human design and how it affects me in business.
I happen to be a manifesting generator. And so part of my work is to really notice what gives me energy, what expands me, what excites me, what intrigues me/ And this is really how I've made decisions about the offers, the titles of my offers, the content of my offers, what I'm gonna teach, where I'm gonna teach it, when I launch, things I'm gonna talk about, I pay attention to the things that light me up.
And it's funny because you think that that's not a predictable strategy or it seems woo woo or whatever, but I can easily track when I started making very powerful momentum in my business and it’s when I started paying attention to what felt good to me, what felt exciting and expansive and aligned, what felt like I was bursting at the seams to talk about and I stopped doing things that felt crappy.
I've always kind of just done my own thing and I've changed and pivoted a lot in my business. If you've been here for a while, you know this.
This podcast has gone through many iterations. It used to be called the Seeker Podcast. Then it was called the Coach Preneur podcast. I made that up.
Silly Amber. And then it's the Conscious Coach podcast. I used to work with stay at home moms, then I worked with work at home moms. I used to have the Pro Coach lifetime membership program, and that turned into the Matrix.
Like, I've gone through iterations in my journey, and I finally feel like I found my kind of like the resident home for my offers, like the Matrix and the Miracle Mind and Private Coaching just feel so aligned to me, but it took some iteration.
It took me following what lit me up. And so instead of judging myself for changing my mind or judging myself for not having everything figured out, I just kept asking myself these hard questions.
What's draining my energy, what can I clean it there, and what's giving me energy, and I can lean more into that.
And it gave me clarity about what was next. And I really do believe entrepreneurship is about expansion, so that it's not like these questions stop.
It's not like I'm gonna stop iterating or stop honoring the energy that I feel. I'm gonna keep making new powerful decisions based on what's true for me in each season.
But I think the important thing is to ask yourself the question and listen to the answer. Right? And then to actually act on the answer is a whole nother level of bravery and courage.
Sometimes we ask ourselves what's draining my energy or what's giving me energy and we don't like the answer. But I think the best thing we can do is to tell ourselves the truth and then to act on it and to integrate it.
And so if you answer the question, what's giving you energy and you're like, oh my gosh, I think I have to change something in my business.
I think I have to raise my prices or I need to change my business model. I hope you have the courage to follow through on it because I think that's how we lead ourselves into our next level is by honoring the answers, what's draining my energy, and changing that.
And what's giving me energy and doing more of that.
So like some of my answers when I ask myself what's giving me energy, the podcast, the matrix, I love serving in the matrix, selling, leading more into my thought leadership, working with more people is really lighting me up, finding ways to serve more people. And that's what I'm leaning into right now.
So it feels good. And so I would ask yourself those same questions.
So just a quick recap of the questions that I asked you today, if your client walked in, you know, maybe at home or your husband walked in to a coaching call or whatever, would it still feel true to you, whatever you were saying or whatever you were doing, would it resonate?
The second question, am I a walking embodiment of what I teach? Number 3. Do I believe my effort is enough? Do I declare it enough really? Number 4, am I prioritizing the right things?
Number 5, where am I holding back? Number 6, when did I stop believing in possibilities? Number 7, what does my future self think about this? Micro and macro? Number 8, what is draining my energy? And number 9, what is giving me energy?
Answering these questions honestly and making changes accordingly will change your life, and it'll create the space for you to have a high impact life. I think the natural way of being a human is expansion.
We naturally want to be better than we were yesterday. We naturally want to increase our skills, serve more people, make more money, have a more fulfilled life. Right? We naturally want these things.
These are not from our own brains. This is how we were made. And so I think asking these questions gives you the clarity to figure out how to make the changes and tweaks that are appropriate for your next level.
And also give you the insight and wisdom required to actually create it. And so I hope this was helpful for you. Thank you for being a listener of the podcast.
If it resonated with you, it will resonate with a friend. That is my one ask. Could you please share it with a friend? I would so appreciate you sharing this show with people who you think would like it.
And as far as my work goes, I would love to have you in any of my programs obviously if it feels aligned. And if not, that's okay. I want you to know I'm grateful for you and for listening to this podcast. And I'm grateful that we get to do this work together. I think it's just such a unique space to be in. I think entrepreneurs are the coolest and I'm grateful for you.
Thank you for listening, and I'll talk to you soon. Bye.
