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Power vs Force

To succeed in business, it's not enough just to do the actions everyone tells you to do.

(Or everyone posting content and promoting their coaching packages would be fully booked.)

It's not just what we do, it's the energy bring to what we do.

I learned this best from David Hawkins in his book, Power vs Force.

I wanted to share the powerful distinctions I learned from him because this concept changed my life and business forever.

David Hawkins created a map that ranks states of being. At the top are things like enlightenment, bliss, peace, freedom. At the bottom are states like despair, powerlessness, and blame.

At the top of his map of consciousness is where we want to be. That's where power resides.

At the bottom of the map we would describe as force.

Even though power is what we want, there are counterfeits to it that would fall under the category of force, even though they appear similar.

Throughout his book, Power vs Force he makes distinctions between the powerful way of being, vs the counterfeit.

Here are 10 for your consideration:

Leading vs Coercing.

As a creator, coach, and entrepreneur... the difference between these two ideas is astounding.

When we lead, we bring our ideas and energy in a way that lights the way for others to follow.

This can be on social media, or it can be in person. It can be when you're selling to a group or when you're on a call with a potential client...

Or audience and our clients want us to lead.

Leading is power. But coercing is force. Coercing feels bad. Coercing is when we consciously or unconsciously try to manipulate our client to do what we want.

Coercing is the counterfeit to leading.

Leading means you keep what is best for your client front of mind, and help them make clear, informed decisions. Leading means you take the driver's seat, but you don't need to "make" the client do anything. You see your clients and community in their power, just like you know you are in your power.

Equals vs Superior

I love this distinction, especially in the coaching industry.

So many newer coaches put successful, seasoned coaches on pedestals. Instead of seeing other coaches as "superior" -- see them as your equal.

Your business will work better. You will take more risks. You will quantum leap in success.

Because if you keep "them" as separate or different than you... you can't create what they have created.

Of course, this applies to your clients too.

Coaches aren't superior to their clients. Parents aren't superior to their kids.

We are equals as souls. 

We bring different experience, skills, and insight into the world and into our relationships, yes.

We are equal but different.

And that's why we need each other.

Confident vs Arrogant

Confidence= I know who I am, and I am excellent.

Arrogant= I am better than you.

I love confidence because it has nothing to do with anyone else. It's your relationship with yourself.

Arrogance requires an element of competition or comparison.

Receiving vs Grasping

Especially as an entrepreneur, receiving is an important piece of the puzzle of success.

We have to be able to receive clients, cash, and success.

It's when we grasp for it that we get into trouble.

Notice how "I am receiving" feels drastically different than "I am grasping."

Let your body tell you the truth. When you are marketing, or promoting yourself online to make a sale...are you in the receiving mode? Or are you in the grasping mode?

This makes all the difference in the world. Receiving feels open and grounded, because power feels open, grounded, and expansive.

Grasping energy will feel like constrained, tight, and chaotic energy.

Choose power by choosing to receive instead of grasp.

Serving vs Ambitious

Serving is power. Ambition is force. (Side not-- I actually like the word ambition because to me it means having drive or having a vision for something better. I think in this case David Hawkins is using the word ambition to mean self-serving.)

When we focus on how our work impacts others, things tend to work better and with way less mind drama.

When we are consumed with how people perceive us or getting something for ourselves, we can shut down or procrastinate.

When you feel stuck or nervous... try the thought "This isn't about me" and see if it helps you get into inspired action.

Surrendering vs Worrying

Worrying only pretends to be necessary. It feels useful because it feels like you're "working" on solving a problem.

But the truth is, worrying is less useful than surrendering.

You can only control your own thoughts, feelings, actions, intentions, and being.

Worrying about whether a client will sign or how a launch will go is a counterfeit of power.

Choose to surrender. Make peace with what is and let go of trying to control others.

You can't predict who will buy or who will hire you.

Surrender who and how and when. See how you feel.

Involved vs Obsessed

Do you want to be obsessed about your client's results? Or involved with them?

I love this distinction. Involved feels like love. Obsessed feels like control/

Try it on. What comes up for you?

Choosing to vs Having to

Do you HAVE to post on social media? Or do you choose to?

Do you HAVE to sell your package? Or do you choose to?

Do you HAVE to do the dishes? Or do you choose to?

The space "choose to" creates in your life IS power and freedom. 

Being vs Having

I love this distinction because I teach the Be Do Have model to clients.

We think we want to HAVE success, or more money, or time off.

But what we are really after is the Being. We just aren't taught this....

You don't have to wait to have money before you choose to BE generous, abundant, at peace.

You don't have to wait to have clients before you can BE a powerful coach.

You don't have to wait until you have a partner before you can BE loving.

You can choose to BE who you want to be now, regardless of circumstances.

This is power.

Concerned vs Judgmental

In my personal document, I have a statement that says "I am that everyone is deserving of my love, but no one is worthy of my judgment." 

We know judgment isn't ideal. We don't feel good when we judge others. But sometimes people judge others' behavior in the spirit of caring about them.

"I just want what's best for them" or "I just want them to be okay" when we deem their behavior as bad... is judgment.

I love this distinction because it allows us to care about others without judgment.

We call this concern.

We can want what's best for another by being concerned.

Try it on the next time you notice yourself judging someone. Choose concern instead and see how it feels!

Bonus: Abundant vs Excessive

I love this one because so many people have unhelpful money stories...

When I teach my clients about abundance, the sneaky thoughts they sometimes have like 

"filthy rich"

"dirty money"

"greedy rich people"

Come from the counterfeit-- excessive.

Excessive feels bad.

But abundance doesn't.

Because of the power vs force distinction.

Abundance comes from a place of power. Excessive comes form force.

Abundance serves us AND the world.

Excessive is usually self serving.

Power vs Force Summary

When we choose power, we are in alignment with our highest self.

We think of others and do good in the world AND we create more success in our own lives.

Power is about high levels of conscious awareness. It is practiced, intentional, and rare.

Being in your power isn't about asserting dominion over others. It is only about choosing the way you want to be in the world regardless of circumstances, including how other people act.

When we slip into trying to control or manipulate other people and circumstances beyond our control... we are in FORCE.

POWER is about unconditional living.

FORCE is about conditional control, and it ends up failing.

Choose power.

You know you're in power when it feels loving, open, grounded, and flowing.

Keep coming back to that as soon as you're aware you've trended in another direction.

Sending you big love today

Amber