The Craft of Coaching

Great coaches are obsessed with improving their skill of coaching.

They are relentless about improving themselves and their ability to coach clients powerfully.

Like an obsessed artist.

I've been like an obsessed artist in the coaching sense for about 4 years now.

There's one thing I hear often from clients about my "coaching style" which I've thought a lot about--

That it's powerful, deep, and intuitive.

I spend a lot of time deconstructing "how I do what I do" for my clients and students.

This is my attempt at deconstructing my coaching.

The 3 Inner Workings of a Great Coach

1. Use Your Mind aka Clarify Your Thoughts.

I use my mind to be a content creator and thought leader. I think all great coaches try to share their thinking with others.. but it's important to understand the order of WHY they share their thinking.

At least, why I share my thinking publicly.

First, I share my thoughts online (like this letter, for example) for myself.

Selfish?

Maybe.

Useful?

Definitely.

I share my thoughts as a way to clarify my thoughts.

My content is like a public journal.

My thoughts naturally evolve over time as I evolve in real time.

So my content does as well.

The second reason it's important to clarify your thoughts is that it benefits others.

Your clients, audience, and lurkers will read your content. (Like you're reading mine now.)

And their lives will change.

Mostly in small ways.

Sometimes in "bigger" ways.

The more you clarify your thoughts, the more you help others.

What a freaking cool job we have.

 3 ways to clarify your thoughts --

1) create content

2) teach concepts you've already learned or that you're currently learning about

3) summarize lessons and concepts for others in conversations

2. Challenge Your Mind

There are 3 primary ways we challenge our own minds as coaches.

- get powerful coaching yourself

- read books that share unique perspectives (bonus points if they don't share your perspective; this is how you expand your thinking)

- learn new things that aren't related to your niche (this is where major creativity can come from-- the intersection of "unrelated" ideas)

3. Empty Your Cup 

The monks and sages teach this in concepts you're already familiar with...

Like journaling, meditating, and nature walks.

The big idea is this-- you're always using your mind, filling your mind... scrolling social media, listening to podcasts, etc.

Make time for stillness.

Make time for quiet.

Your best ideas live there.

AND.

It gives you a chance to "digest" everything you've been consuming.

 Ways I empty my mind:

- sit and look out the window in my office, doing nothing 

- walks in nature without a podcast or content playing

- prayer

- journaling

The combination of emptying your cup, clarifying your thoughts, and challenging your mind will build you into an excellent coach.

Because coaches work at the level of being and thinking.

So sharpening your being and thinking is essential.

3 Power Tools of Great Coaches

1) Deep Presence

In a noisy, distracted world... your undivided, authentic, and pure presence is a true gift for your clients.

The power of coaching isn't in just what you say or what you ask... it's in your grounded presence too.

2) Powerful Questions

This is what most people think of when they think of coaching. And I agree that it's an important tool ( just not the only tool)

I think powerful questions lead to powerful insight.

I "collect" questions, so here are a few of my favorite to use with clients.

What would make this call really powerful for you today?

Is that absolutely true?

Who would you Be if you already accomplished the goal?

What do you really, really, really want?

If you were the last woman on earth, would you still want ____?

What do you need to let go of?

Who do you need to forgive?

In the right context, these questions are potent. Try them.

3) Vision of Possibility

This, I believe, is my superpower.

I can meet anyone and have almost instant, true belief in their vision for their life.

The goals and dreams they wouldn't dare tell other people... they can tell me because I believe they really can accomplish them.

I hold the vision of possibility for my client.

When they can't believe it's possible...

I let them borrow my belief.

When they see obstacles...

I hold the faith.

It's the coaches honor and gift to share the vision of possibility with their client. 

No matter how big, how outrageous, or how impossible it might seem at the present moment.

Keep the vision of possibility.

Like most things, everything I've mentioned in this letter is better together... intstead of separated or isolated.

You can be a good coach by asking great questions.

An even better coach by doing the inner work, asking great questions, and holding space.

An exceptional coach by doing the inner work, getting coached yourself, clarifying your thinking, asking powerful questions, offering deep presence, holding the vision of possibility, challenging your mind, and emptying your cup. (All the things summarized in this letter.)

Of course this isn't an exhaustive list, and I definitely encourage you to make your own list. What makes a great coach according to you?

The work of honing your craft as a coach is never ending.

If you'd like to do this work with me for the month of January, join The Art of Deep Coaching.

Or join The Matrix.

When you devote yourself to mastering The Art of Deep Coaching, your clients begin to create exponential results...

And you feel on fire.

Let's do this work together.

Amber